


Numbered Promises

by yikeslikenikes



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe - Superheroes/Superpowers, Angst, Dangerous Situations, Friendship, Happy Ending, Headaches & Migraines, Jooheon Bingo, Lame Code Names, Lots of crushes, Love Triangles, M/M, Mentions of Gun Violence, Near Death Experiences, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pacts, Pining, Polyamory, Promises, Sex, Smut, Unrequited Love, but it works out, this is basically a chiller xmen au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-14
Updated: 2019-08-10
Packaged: 2020-03-05 15:07:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 15
Words: 69,985
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18831127
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yikeslikenikes/pseuds/yikeslikenikes
Summary: That’s his rule. The rule he had made when he was twelve, and they had all snuck out to make a weird friendship pact because that’s what kids do. Especially kids knowing they’re about to form a team forever. All of them came up with a rule. Jooheon’s was simple.No reading a friend’s mind.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is for my "Mind Reading" square for Jooheon Bingo!  
> I've always wanted to try writing a superhero thing, so here we are! Hopefully you guys enjoy.

Hoseok nudges Jooheon as they sit in the audience. Jooheon doesn’t look but nudges back. He looks up at the stage and locks eyes with Changkyun before sending him a small thumbs-up. Changkyun presses his lips together in an attempt to smile, his mortarboard sitting crooked on his head. 

“I can’t believe our baby is finally graduating,” Hyungwon whispers from Jooheon’s other side. 

“I can’t believe he beat out Jihoon for valedictorian,” Hyunwoo whispers back, leaning across Hoseok’s lap to say it. 

“Could you please be quiet?” Kihyun hisses under his breath. 

“Or what? You’ll burn this place to the ground? How would that make Kyunnie feel?” Minhyuk hisses back. 

Jooheon purses his lips in an attempt to keep himself from laughing. The Headmaster is wrapping up his speech about how well this class has done throughout their career here at the school, knowing full well that most of the graduating students wouldn’t be going anywhere at all. Just moving from one dormitory to another just like Jooheon and all his friends had. Just like Changkyun was planning on doing. 

“Is he nervous?” Hoseok whispers to Jooheon. 

“Rule number six, Hoseok,” Jooheon replies under his breath. Hoseok sighs in response but doesn’t press any further. 

“Now I’m very pleased to announce this year’s Valedictorian, Changkyun Im.”

Everyone around them politely claps while their little cluster of friends lets out a collective whoop with a few “You go, Changkyun!”’s sprinkled in for good measure. The Headmaster throws them a weary glance while Changkyun smirks down at his speech. 

Jooheon smiles fondly up at Changkyun the entire time he talks while not listening to a single word he says. After hearing Changkyun rehearse it for three days straight, he’s sure he could probably give the speech himself. 

It’s after graduation that matters, when the six of them are all huddled around the table full of pretzels and chips as they stare at every single graduate flowing out of the gym into the corridor. 

“What are the chances he makes himself invisible and just leaves?” Hyungwon asks before shoving a whole handful of pretzel sticks into his mouth. 

“I’d freeze his toes off,” Minhyuk replies easily. 

“Harsh,” Jooheon says before nibbling on an almond from the trail mix bowl. 

“You realize we’re the only alums here? Hell, Hyunwoo really is embarrassing himself by being here,” Kihyun says. 

“There’s nothing embarrassing about supporting your friend,” Hyunwoo replies before just picking up the bowl of trail mix to eat from, holding it between him and Jooheon, so Jooheon can still eat from it if he wants. 

“I agree with Hyunwoo,” Hoseok pipes up. 

“Of course you do,” Hyungwon mutters under his breath with a roll of his eyes. 

Jooheon feels an unpleasant tingle run down his spine before he grabs a handful of the trail mix and waves Hyunwoo away a bit too rigidly. 

Hoseok always had a slight hero thing for Hyunwoo. He looked at him like he was the reason the sun lit up the skies, and the firmament didn’t come crashing down around them. It had been bad enough when they were kids, but now? It gnawed a bit on the inside of Jooheon’s cheek like that raw spot you accidentally bit down on a few days ago, but now you can’t stop messing with. 

“I’m sorry that he’s right most of the time,” Hoseok counters smugly before popping a chip into his mouth and biting down. 

Jooheon wishes he was the chip or Hyunwoo or a weird hybrid of both of them as long as Hoseok looked at him like that or maybe held him between his teeth. 

“There he is!” Kihyun exclaims as Changkyun hurriedly makes his way over to them. He runs straight into Kihyun’s arms, and Jooheon decides that’s also another talk they’ll probably all have later over a bonfire.

“Congrats, grad!” Minhyuk says with a huge grin, and Changkyun groans, his face and hair disappearing for a moment, leaving his mortarboard floating in the air. 

“That’s so cheesy. Like a greeting card,” Changkyun’s disembodied voice says before he phases back into being and hugs Minhyuk. 

“Aw, let him be cheesy, he’s proud of you,” Hyungwon says before he pulls Changkyun into a hug of his own. 

Changkyun pats Hyungwon’s back, eyes closing contentedly before he sets his sights on Jooheon, a big grin lighting up his face. 

Jooheon holds his arms open like they don't cuddle every single day, and Changkyun throws himself into them like they don’t hug every chance they get. Jooheon feels a tickle in his mind, an overwhelming collective thought, and he opens one eye to look around them at all their older friends smiling fondly at them. Jooheon sighs because he knows that the collective thought was just the word  _ cute! _ being screamed in every one of their minds. 

Sometimes they all made it hard to follow Rule Number Six. 

“I can’t wait to finally officially room with you,” Changkyun says with one final squeeze before he kisses Jooheon’s cheek and pulls away. 

“I can’t wait either, roomie,” Jooheon says back, and Changkyun bounces a bit in place before moving on to give Hoseok and Hyunwoo their hugs. 

“So where do you want to eat? My treat,” Hyunwoo says. 

Jooheon smirks to himself before Changkyun even answers, already knowing without knowing. 

“Fuck, I would kill for some bottomless fries,” Changkyun says. 

He hears Hyungwon sigh. “He could’ve asked to go to the fanciest restaurant, but no, we’re going to travel two hours to go to Red Robin again.”

“Hey, it’s his day, let him crave Red Robin,” Kihyun says. 

Jooheon laughs as they head outside to watch Changkyun toss his mortarboard in the air with the rest of his class. The mortarboards are a mess of them catching fire, freezing, teleporting, going all kinds of crazy directions, and Changkyun’s little weird flickering invisibility thing he is far too proud of. 

+++

It’s summer now, which means they don’t have to do anything. They all study here on scholarship for their “extraordinary skills”, and now that they’re all legally adults, the school lets them run wild during the summer. 

They’re sitting around the fire pit, watching as Kihyun snakes an arm beneath the glimmering shield that Hyunwoo insists they make (because  _ Rule Number One, safety first, protect your friends _ ) before he snaps a fire to life on the wood and dry leaves they collected on their way there. Once it really gets going, Hyunwoo drops the shield, and Kihyun gets up before he goes to sit down next to Changkyun. 

“Wanna see something I’ve been working on?” Changkyun asks. Jooheon feels the collective apprehension at the question, and he rolls his shoulders back to wave it off. 

“What exactly have you been working on?” Hyungwon asks, a beer from the cooler floating through the air toward him. Jooheon squints his eyes at it. Telekinesis had always been the much preferred mind power in his opinion. Much better than reading minds ever was. 

“Something cool,” Changkyun replies cryptically. The apprehension rises again, and this time Jooheon coughs a bit to make it go away. 

“Do I have to set up another shield?” Hyunwoo asks, pouting at Hyungwon until Hyungwon sighs and another beer floats through the air before landing in Hyunwoo’s lap. 

Jooheon doesn’t miss the way Hoseok watches Hyunwoo pop open the beer and drink down half of it in three gulps. He doesn’t miss it, and he’s never wanted to break rule number six so bad. 

“Nah, it should be fine, just watch the fire,” Changkyun says. 

They all watch as the flames flicker once, twice, and then they flicker out of existence even though Jooheon can still feel the heat coming from a fire. 

“Holy shit,” Minhyuk says.

“Kihyun isn’t even reacting,” Hyungwon grumbles past the beer bottle on his lips. 

“Well, now we know who he’s been practicing with,” Jooheon says. Changkyun giggles softly before the flames roar back into reality, and everyone claps a bit for him, for a new parlor trick he has up his sleeve. 

“I’m working on multiple objects at once, but it’s trickier,” Changkyun says. 

“I’m sure you’ll get it down,” Kihyun says. 

It doesn’t take a mind-reader to see Changkyun internally combusting at the praise, though it might take one to see how pleased Jooheon is with his own pun about Kihyun making someone combust. 

Jooheon looks around the circle and sighs. He’s happy here with them. Has been for years. But he can’t help but notice that he’s the odd one out even with all the love and affection he gets. 

Changkyun sits next to Kihyun on the log to his left. Hyungwon and Minhyuk share the log across from him. Hoseok and Hyunwoo sit to his right, and he sits on a log by himself, the cooler full of beers the only thing keeping his direct company. 

He wishes Hoseok would sit next to him and smile at him the way he does at Hyunwoo. Like he was so glad that he was alive and there and  _ with them _ . Although Jooheon guesses that Hoseok is glad that Jooheon is there with him. He is the reason that Jooheon even became friends with this strange little motley crew in the first place. 

Kihyun clears his throat. “So um, I’m sure it’s kind of obvious, but we thought we should tell you guys officially.” Kihyun snakes his hand into Changkyun’s, and Changkyun gets that look in his eyes like he’s so fond he could die. 

“We’re dating,” Changkyun says simply, and Jooheon had expected as much, so he just smiles and nods as everyone else grumbles about  _ finally _ . 

“Kihyun, you know we’ll have to kill you if this goes south, right?” Minhyuk says, bottle of beer pressed against his bottom lip. Kihyun frowns at him. 

“Yes, I’m aware of the vague threats to freeze my nuts off like I couldn’t beat you in a fight,” Kihyun replies. The fire flickers up a little before settling as much as a fire can. Jooheon smirks. Rule number four in action.  _ Don’t be a hothead.  _

“Ha! You wish you could beat me in a fight,” Minhyuk says, cheeky grin starting on his face. 

Kihyun rolls his eyes. “I could melt you,” he grumbles.

“I mean, if we’re that concerned we could always use an exception to rule six?” Hoseok says. 

Jooheon frowns. That’s his rule. The rule he had made when he was twelve, and they had all snuck out to make a weird friendship pact because that’s what kids do. Especially kids knowing they’re about to form a team forever. All of them came up with a rule. Jooheon’s was simple. 

_ No reading a friend’s mind.  _

Simple, even though at the time Jooheon couldn’t really control it, and he would end up exhausted everyday, fighting off their stray thoughts until he got better. Until he got used to it. Now he barely heard their exact thoughts unless they were screamed in his direction or increasingly loud like the cute from graduation. Now it was general feelings like an empath. 

“I don’t think it’s necessary,” Jooheon says, looking over at Hoseok. 

“Actually, you can. I revoke my right to rule number six for the next few seconds,” Kihyun says. 

Jooheon sighs and turns back to him because once they get here, he has to. He peels away the little layer he had around his brain just enough to let Kihyun shine through. 

_ “I’m going to stay with him forever. I fucking love him,” _ Kihyun’s mind says before Kihyun blinks a bit and shakes his head.  _ “I mean I really like him, shit, please don’t tell him that.” _

Jooheon snorts and looks up at the blue sky above them. “I think they’ll be fine,” is all he says, much to the disdain of the group who are all wondering why Kihyun has turned three shades of pink, and the fire keeps flashing higher. 

 

They sleep outside, rolling out the sleeping bags they had hidden away out here long ago. Everyone passes out quickly, but Jooheon finds that he can’t sleep. When he gets sleepy, everything is harder to control, and his friends’ dreams show up in front of his eyes like strange flickering from a TV. It makes his mouth taste like copper, and he’s about to get up and grab another beer, hoping the alcohol will make him sleepy enough to just pass out when he hears movement. 

He freezes, his mind reaching out, searching for an intruder, but there’s nothing other than the seven of them, and Jooheon turns around to see Hoseok sitting up, staring up at the sky. They were at the end of the group, Hoseok between him and Hyunwoo, and Jooheon at the end because sometimes he wanted to be a bit further away from everyone’s thoughts. 

Hoseok doesn’t know he’s awake, but he’s just staring up at the sky, a small smile on his face, and Jooheon wants to break rule number six again just to know what’s going on there. Instead, he shifts around in his sleeping bag to make enough noise for Hoseok to glance down at him. 

“Oh! Did I wake you?” Hoseok whispers to him. 

Jooheon shakes his head. “You’re fine. What are you doing?”

Hoseok clears his throat a little, pointing up above the trees. “You can see it,” he says softly. 

Jooheon rubs his eyes as he sits up and squints at where Hoseok is pointing. At first, he’s not sure what he’s looking at until he shifts a bit and sees the light shimmer in a way it shouldn’t up there. Jooheon recognizes it immediately, and his heart sinks. 

“Hyunwoo’s shield?” Jooheon asks softly. 

“It’s incredible, right? He’s asleep, but he’s still protecting us. And look how big it is. It covers the whole little campground,” Hoseok says, and he sounds like a kid explaining how his imaginary world worked. It’s terribly endearing while also making Jooheon feel kind of miserable. 

“Yeah, I guess it is,” Jooheon says because at the end of the day, he really can’t believe Hyunwoo does this. He doesn’t even know how he’s doing it in his sleep.

When Hyunwoo had first come to the school, his parents had called him invulnerable. Invincible. The Headmaster explained to him that while that may seem true, it wasn’t really Hyunwoo’s skin that was. It was this perfectly strong invisible shield he carried on his skin. 

It wasn’t long before Hyunwoo was being taught to move the shield, make it bigger, move it around other things, make it into shapes, suction it around others to protect them. 

Hyunwoo was the defense and the leader of every team he got sent out with, and he was good and kind, and Jooheon couldn’t even be mad that Hoseok looked at him like he hung the moon because Hyunwoo was literally asleep, his most vulnerable state, and he was giving up his precious impenetrable shield’s protection around him to protect all of them when nothing bad had ever happened here. When the worst thing that’s ever happened to them was when they woke up to it pouring rain on them, and Hyunwoo did exactly this to make it stop while Kihyun used his fire to help them all get dry again. 

“I just think it’s so pretty the way it glimmers,” Hoseok explains. 

Jooheon sighs and nods. “You really love him, don’t you?” 

Hoseok is quiet for a few seconds as he hugs his knees to his chest. “Of course, I do. We all love each other.”

Jooheon shakes his head. “You know that’s not what I meant.”

Hoseok looks down and over at him. “We’re not together,” he says simply. 

“No, but you want to be,” Jooheon says, and he gets it. He does. He understands wanting to be with someone and being around them all the time and still not having them. He probably gets it better than anyone. 

Hoseok sighs and runs his fingers through his hair. “I know it’s bad. I know it’s obvious. But I can’t help it, you know? He was my first friend here. My first friend ever, maybe. And everyone kinda falls in love with their first friend somehow, right?”

Jooheon wonders if Hoseok is aware that he’s Jooheon’s first friend. If he knows how Jooheon feels everything inside him calcifying and turning to dust because he’s  _ a good friend _ and will always be there to try to help Hoseok through his problems even when he’s so in love with someone that isn’t him. 

Jooheon licks his lips and looks up at the glimmer of Hyunwoo’s shield against the sky again. “Yeah, I think so, too. The first friend falling in love thing.”

“You know, Hyunwoo was the only kid who wasn’t afraid of me? He never once treated me like i was dumb just because I was strong. He was never afraid to hold my hand or let me hug him,” Hoseok says softly. 

Jooheon smiles, glad that Hoseok had that for him. Maybe that was why Hoseok had been so kind to him his first day. He remembered feeling left out and suddenly someone reached out to him. Hyunwoo was a lifeline for Hoseok like Hoseok had been for Jooheon. Maybe that was how they ended up like this. 

“Have you ever told Hyunwoo?” Jooheon asks. 

Hoseok shrugs. “I don’t want to ruin everything.”

Jooheon nods. “Yeah. Yeah, I get that.”

“Besides, I don’t think he would ever feel the same way,” Hoseok says, and his voice sounds vaguely sad and vaguely resigned like he just knew he was going to pine for him tragically forever. 

Jooheon feels his throat get tight. He remembers a much smaller Hoseok holding up two fingers before saying that his rule was to be strong for his friends when they couldn’t be. Not to beat up their enemies. Not to be scary and intimidating because he could lift a grown adult above his head only using the tip of his pointer finger. But to be a rock and strength for the rest of them when they needed it. And it was so very Hoseok that Jooheon wanted to cry then, and he still wants to cry now thinking about it. 

And Jooheon wants so badly for Hoseok to be happy because happiness is what Hoseok deserves. So he swallows down the growing lump in his throat. “I think you should talk to him. I don’t think Hyunwoo would let it ruin your friendship. And you never know. Maybe he’s in the same boat as you.”

Hoseok chuckles a bit. “Are you giving me advice or do you know that for a fact?”

“Rule Number Six. I’m just going off what I see,” Jooheon replies. 

Hoseok hums softly. “We should try to sleep,” he says. 

“You’re right.”

Neither of them move to lay down, though. Hoseok chuckles again, a soft airy thing between his lips, and Jooheon aches. 

“Thank you for listening, honey. Good night,” Hoseok whispers before he slowly lays back down. 

Jooheon watches him as he closes his eyes and falls asleep in three breaths. 

Jooheon sighs and rubs his eyes. “Night. Love you,” he mumbles, mainly to himself, before laying down and trying his damndest not to see the flashes of Hyunwoo’s tan skin appearing in Hoseok’s dream. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jooheon hates that he can’t help. Not really. There’s a pressure on his right temple that comes with trying to communicate like this for too long. He knows he should try to focus on them, try to see what’s going on in there, but there’s only one voice he seeks out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dangerous situations ahead.

“God, I hate these things,” Changkyun mutters as he pulls at his sleeves. Kihyun frowns as he helps pull his sleeves down, so it’s not bunching up uncomfortably around his elbow anymore. 

“Guys, focus for a sec. It’s a hostage situation. A brother keeping his sister in their house. Police have been in a standoff with him for over ten hours, and three officers have already been shot,” Hyunwoo calls out, going over whatever is in his folder in front of him. He could have used the giant screen behind him, but Hyunwoo never liked it. Always preferred something he could make notes on. 

Their little team goes quiet as soon as he speaks up. Just hanging out, they were a mess, but on missions they all fell perfectly in line behind him. 

Not that Jooheon was complaining. This was why they were so good at what they did.

“What happened to their parents?” Hoseok asks softly as he grips into the seat of the van. Jooheon itches to put his hand over his but stops himself. Maybe this isn’t the time. 

Hyunwoo sighs and looks back down at his folder like he wishes the words would change. Jooheon presses his lips together. He doesn’t have to read his mind to know what he’s about to tell them. 

“They’re dead,” is all Hyunwoo says. No further details. 

“What’s the plan then?” Minhyuk asks as he blows cold air over his fingertips and watches them turn icy blue like he’s checking if his powers still work. 

“Well, first we need to put a temporary moratorium on Rule Number Six,” Hyunwoo says with a glance at Jooheon. 

Jooheon clears his throat a bit. “How much of a moratorium?”

“You think you can handle sending thoughts back today?” Hyunwoo asks, eyebrow raising. Jooheon swallows. He’s been working on that, but it’s incredibly tiring work. He was like an old-timey telephone with only the receiver working. Everything came in crystal clear, but he had to use all his focus and scream to get his thoughts through to someone else. 

“I can try,” Jooheon replies. 

Hyunwoo nods before looking back down at the papers. “Okay. Apparently the front door has been blown off, so it’d be possible for Changkyun to slip in and give us some eyes in there.”

“Can do,” Changkyun says from the back. 

“Jooheon, you’ll relay to us what Changkyun is seeing, so we don’t risk him talking.”

Jooheon nods, already starting to lift the veil up out of his mind, so everything is easier later. 

“Kihyun and Minhyuk, you’re cutting off escape routes,” Hyunwoo says with a nod toward them. Minhyuk reaches behind him for Kihyun to squeeze his hand, their strange best friend handshake of fire and ice sizzling together for a moment before they both pull away. 

“Hyungwon, you’ll be hopefully causing a distraction away from the front door, so Hoseok can go and grab the girl. I’ll be working with both of you to keep you guys from getting hurt, and hopefully the SWAT team can handle the actual arrest and apprehension. And, Hyungwon, it'd be great if you could get his gun from him.”

“Great. Gun duty. Always gun duty,” Hyungwon grumbles. Minhyuk looks behind him, hooking his chin over the back of the seat. For a moment, Jooheon regrets already starting to listen when he hears Minhyuk’s very loud thoughts about wishing there wasn’t something solid between them. 

“You do a great job at it though,” Minhyuk says. 

“Minhyuk, I love you, but can you please keep the thoughts just a bit quieter,” Jooheon sighs out. Minhyuk turns to him with a grin, definitely about to say something when Hoseok speaks up.

“How old are they?” he asks. The van goes quiet in the wake of it. They always try to distract themselves, try to keep it light, but Hoseok could never really do that. He’s a tight bundle of nerves hidden beneath taut muscles, and all Jooheon can hear is how afraid he is of messing up while everyone else’s thoughts become just  _ tense.  _ Jooheon rolls his neck a bit to try to keep it from making him tense, too. 

Hyunwoo swallows and glances back down at the folder. “The boy is nineteen. The girl is twelve.”

Hoseok sucks in a breath and looks down at his lap. He opens and closes his hands. Jooheon reaches over and takes one of Hoseok’s hand in his and squeezes it, not being able to stop himself anymore. He tries not to get a big head at how he can  _ hear  _ Hoseok’s mind calm down, be less frenetic and soften. He tries to calm the thumping of his heart when Hoseok squeezes his hand gently back. 

“Arrived at destination,” the electronic voice of the van calls out. Hyunwoo takes a deep breath. 

“Codenames only once we step out. Everyone ready?” he asks. 

Jooheon takes a deep breath before finally letting himself fully hear. 

_ “I love you, stay safe, please stay safe,”  _ Kihyun’s thoughts call out. 

Jooheon can hear Changkyun and Kihyun kiss somewhere behind him, and then Changkyun thinks, “ _ So cute and soft. _ ”

Hyungwon leans forward and presses his lips against Minhyuk’s. Jooheon shuts his eyes as he tries to ignore Minhyuk’s thoughts about “ _ Just wait til this is over, babe _ .”

“ _ Just tell him, Hoseok. What if something happens and you never get another chance? Just stop being a coward and tell him.” _

Jooheon looks over and sees Hoseok staring right at Hyunwoo as he shoves the folder into his backpack and kicks the bag beneath the chair. 

“Hey, Hyunwoo,” Hoseok says, his hand falling out of Jooheon’s grip. Hyunwoo looks up at Hoseok. 

“Yeah?”

_ “I love you. Have loved you forever. I need you to know. I needed you to know. Please love me back.” _

“Good luck out there,” Hoseok says instead, and Jooheon hates himself for feeling relieved before he pushes Minhyuk out of the van and steps out after him. 

They’re parked a few houses down from the very obvious police stand-off. The chief of police is standing there, hand outstretched, and Jooheon shakes it. 

_ “Thank God you’re here,” _ comes calling out of his mind, and Jooheon nods at him. 

“Are you...Jet?” The man asks. 

Minhyuk snorts at the old and frankly embarrassing code name their leader had given himself when he first started.  “No, he’s definitely not,” Minhyuk says.

Hyunwoo walks up and clears his throat, nodding a bit at the man. 

“I don’t go by Jet anymore. Sorry. Call me Shownu,” Hyunwoo says. 

“Ah! Right. Sorry. Our system is a bit outdated, and the last time we called you was a few years back. I’m Chief Lopez.”

“We got your report and have been briefed, sir. Are there any new developments?” 

Hyunwoo and Chief Lopez start walking toward the police barricade, leaving the rest of them to follow after them. Jooheon is already struggling to deal with all the screaming thoughts, trying to focus in on just the team. 

“I.M., we got the go ahead for our plan, are you ready to go?” Hyunwoo calls. 

“Ready,” Changkyun says, throwing him a thumbs-up before pushing his hair out of his face. Kihyun squeezes the back of Changkyun’s neck one last time. 

_ “Be safe, babe. Please just be safe.” _

Changkyun blows Kihyun a kiss before he disappears entirely, fading right out of existence. Jooheon takes a deep breath before he sits on the ground and focuses in. 

_ “Honey? You there?”  _ Changkyun asks. 

Jooheon bites his lip and feels the strain above his right eyebrow already.  _ “I’m here. You hear me?” _

_ “Loud and clear!” _

Jooheon smiles a little and looks over at Hyunwoo, giving him a nod. Hyunwoo lets out a sigh and nods back. 

_ “Where are you, Changkyun? I can hear, but I can’t see.” _

_ “I’m walking up the porch steps now. It’s really quiet in here.” _

Jooheon looks over at Hyunwoo and shows him the okay sign. Hyunwoo signals towards Minhyuk and Kihyun, and they start walking behind the neighboring houses to flank the house. 

_ “Talk to me, Changkyun.” _

_ “He’s in the corner of the kitchen. Only one gun as far as I can see. Parents’ bodies are in the living room. There’s a door out to the garage he’s next to, and there’s a back door. Lots of windows, too.” _

_ “Got it. What about the girl?” _

_ “I don’t see her down here. I’m heading upstairs.” _

_ “Be careful.” _

_ “Always am.” _

Hyungwon squats down next to Jooheon. “Got your comm with Shownu up. Don’t try to relay all this with your mind, you’ll burn yourself out,” he says, holding out the little ear piece.

Jooheon sighs and rubs at his temple before taking it and putting it on. “Thanks.”

“No problem. Just tell him what he needs to know.”

Jooheon quickly relays everything Changkyun is telling him. The girl is in a room upstairs, locked in. First on the left when you go up the stairs. He watches as Hoseok puts his gloves on and takes a deep breath. 

_ “I can’t believe I couldn’t just tell him,” _ Hoseok thinks. Jooheon frowns as he tries to focus in on Changkyun again. 

_ “Testing, testing.” _

_ “I hear you, Honey. I think that’s all the info I can give you. Am I good to get out of here before Minhyuk and Kihyun light this place up? I can see them outside getting ready to pounce.” _

_ “Give me a second.” _

“I.M. wants to know if he’s fine to leave,” Jooheon says into the comm. 

“Tell him to get out,” Hyunwoo responds. 

_ “You’re good for Rule Number Seven.” _

_ “Always have an escape route,” _ Changkyun dutifully thinks back. Jooheon can almost see his smile as he says it. 

Jooheon stares ahead at the house and sucks in a breath, waiting for Changkyun to suddenly reappear. But then more and more seconds tick by, and Changkyun doesn’t. 

Hyunwoo gets a bit restless, looking back over at Jooheon. “Where is he?” he says over the comm.

Jooheon frowns.  _ “Changkyun? Rule Number Seven?” _

_ “I...I tripped.” _

Jooheon shoots up to his feet.  _ “You what?” _

_ “He heard it. He’s looking around for what made the noise, Honey.” _

_ “Changkyun, where are you?” _

_ “I’m staring at the front door. I tripped over the fucking rug, Jooheon, I fucked it all up.” _

Jooheon walks over to Hyunwoo, eyes wide. “I.M.’s stuck,” he hisses out. 

Hyunwoo’s eyes widen a bit before he steps forward, finger tapping on the comm in his ear. “Rime, Pyre, start.”

“Is I.M. out yet?” Kihyun asks, voice crackling over the comm. 

“Pyre, start now,” Hyunwoo says seriously. 

Jooheon reaches out to Changkyun again.  _ “Ki and Min are about to start, stay where you are.” _

_ “Honey, I’m so sorry.” _

_ “Stop that, you’re fine. Tell me what’s happening.” _

_ “I can hear him walking behind me, but I’m so afraid to look.” _

Jooheon looks as Hyungwon crouches behind a car, probably trying to find something to make another noise. 

_ “Changkyun, tell me there’s something Hyungwon can knock over away from you.” _

_ “There’s a bookshelf in the room next to me. Next to the window. _

Jooheon’s eyes search over the house until he sees the little glint of shiny black paint next to the window on the left.  _ “Got it.” _

“Haunt, bookshelf to the left,” Jooheon says into his mic. 

“Got it,” Hyungwon replies. 

Jooheon can hear the crash from here, can hear the scream that Changkyun somehow manages to keep inside his head, and he’s grateful, so fucking grateful that he does. 

Jooheon watches as the gunman goes over into the room, gun pointed and ready.

_ “Changkyun?” _

Changkyun reappears just as he falls to his knees behind the police barricade. Jooheon holds onto the table at the control center, willing his knees to stop being so wobbly. 

“He’s out. Everyone go, now,” Hyunwoo says. 

Jooheon hates that he can’t help. Not really. There’s a pressure on his right temple that comes with trying to communicate like this for too long. He knows he should try to focus on them, try to see what’s going on in there, but there’s only one voice he seeks out.

_ “Got the girl, gotta get her safe, gotta get her out,” _ Hoseok’s thoughts call out. Jooheon sighs, glad that it's going relatively fine. 

Hoseok comes running out, girl cradled in his arms. He hands her off to the paramedics before he turns right back around and runs right back into the now slightly smoking house. Jooheon watches as the flames skate around inside for a moment before someone runs out of the house, empty-handed. He’s instantly swarmed by police officers, and the flames die down inside. 

Hyungwon comes out first, frowning as he rubs at his chest, the gun held away. Jooheon snorts. It's not the first time Hyungwon got a bit overzealous and knocked himself a bit too hard with what he was trying to move. 

The rest of them spill out quickly, Hoseok and Hyunwoo coming up last. Jooheon walks forward and smiles at them. Hyunwoo claps his hand on Jooheon’s shoulder. 

“You did a great job, Honey,” Hyunwoo says. 

“Definitely saved my ass,” Changkyun says as he walks up to Kihyun and hugs him. Jooheon is already putting the veil back on, cutting off the buzzing of everyone’s thoughts again, but the last thing he hears is Hoseok’s quiet little, “ _ He’s incredible,” _ before the pressure in his head finally manifests as an actual thudding headache.

He groans and leans forward before he falls into a pair of strong arms. 

“Hey, you’re okay, I got you. I knows it’s tiring,” Hoseok says before he picks Jooheon up bridal-style because they’re all used to Jooheon’s stupid migraines after he does even a tiny bit of mental flexing. And Jooheon lets his head fall against Hoseok’s shoulder, covered by that dumb leathery outfit they all wear, and he shuts his eyes and breathes in the smell of smoke from Kihyun’s goddamn fire, and salt, and then that clean smell of soap that Hoseok always carries around him. 

For a moment, he lets himself pretend that Hoseok loves him back. That this is something more than Hoseok’s overabundant love for everyone that he somehow manages to keep locked up in his body. 

Only for a moment though. 

Then he’s back in reality where he’s being laid down in the backseat of the van, and his head is laying on Hyunwoo’s thigh as he runs his fingers through his hair. 

“You did so well, Jooheon. If you need to sleep, go ahead, I’ll wake you when we get back to the school,” he says. 

Jooheon lets his eyes close and tries to will the pain away. And he can’t even be jealous of Hyunwoo, not really. Because he’s just the epitome of good. The man that you wanted on your comic books and cereal boxes and taking pictures with the President. The man he always wanted on his side and was always glad he was. And if Hyunwoo could give himself up to make sure none of them would ever feel pain again, he would. 

He understands why Hoseok would pick him. Jooheon would pick him too if it wasn’t for that strange little first friend curse that Hoseok has talked so much about. If his heart didn’t already have everything set on Hoseok. 

And as he tries to drift off to sleep, he hears Hoseok whisper. 

“Hey, Hyunwoo, can we talk when we get back? Alone?” 

“Yeah, Seokie. Sure. Try to rest now, okay?”

And Jooheon turns and buries his face in Hyunwoo’s thigh, willing the world to go black, so he could sleep. 

+++

Jooheon is standing under the showerhead, letting the water run over him. Changkyun is spending the night in Kihyun’s room, so he could afford to take his time. He presses his forehead to the cool tile and tries hard not to think about how Hoseok is probably confessing right now. Jooheon can imagine it so clearly. 

Everyone had their own way of dealing with the aftermath of any mission. Minhyuk would run on the adrenaline high and pull Hyungwon into bed for what Hyungwon liked to call  _ probably the best sex ever. _ Kihyun used to sing and hum loudly and when they all used to share showers, it was his music or no music at all. Changkyun got into his own head too much and would find company, whether it was real or just playing an online game. Jooheon needed to sleep off the headache and shower. Hoseok watched television. And Hyunwoo liked to stay behind and run diagnostics on the van to make sure nothing got damaged even if it wasn’t anywhere near the actual mission. 

Today, Hoseok had lingered, staying behind as everyone else ran off to do their little rituals. Jooheon rubs his eyes a bit, convincing himself the sting was from leftover shampoo he didn’t fully rinse out and nothing else. Maybe by now Hoseok had told Hyunwoo how head-over-heels he was for him. Maybe Hyunwoo had smiled and quietly admitted that he felt the same way because Jooheon couldn’t ever imagine someone rejecting Hoseok. And maybe they were still in the garage, smiling awkwardly and giggling because they were just so happy to finally be together. Maybe they would kiss. Maybe they’d do more. 

Jooheon sniffs and turns the water off before stepping out of the shower. He grabs his towel and runs it over his head roughly, ignoring the way Changkyun’s voice pops into his head saying, “You need to treat yourself more gently.”

He dries off and gets dressed in the all gray sweats from the school because Jooheon and Changkyun keep it cool in their room because of the heat outside. He stares at the TV in their shared space and contemplates turning it on when there’s a knock at the door. He scrunches his face up as he walks over to look through the peephole. 

Hoseok is standing there, but he’s not smiling all bright like Jooheon had imagined. He’s just flat, sighing a bit. Jooheon opens the door. 

“Hey,” Jooheon says. 

“Hey,” Hoseok replies before he walks into the room. Jooheon closes the door and hovers for a second as he watches Hoseok sit down on their couch. 

“What’s—“

“I didn’t tell him,” Hoseok says. 

Jooheon sighs a bit, and it’s from relief, but he’s sure that Hoseok thinks it’s disappointment. 

“You want a soda?” Jooheon asks. 

“Yeah. Sure. Thanks.”

Jooheon walks over to the mini-kitchen area and opens up the fridge to pull out two cans of soda before sitting back down next to Hoseok and handing him one. 

Hoseok takes it and just holds it in his hand for a while, staring at the coffee table in front of them. Jooheon pops open his can and takes a sip. 

“So you didn’t tell him. That’s fine. It’s not like you’re on a time limit,” Jooheon says. Hoseok sighs before he sinks back into the couch and opens his can. 

“But I am. Every time we go on a mission, we’re in danger. Every time we go could be the last time one of us see each other.”

“You can’t think like that. Hyunwoo would—“

“He’d be the first one to sacrifice himself for one of us. Hell, he was stressed today because he couldn’t see Changkyun to put a shield around him when he tripped. He was fully ready to just barrel in there head first just to distract the shooter, so he could get out.”

“But he didn’t because he’s smart,” Jooheon says. 

“And because of the bookshelf. Thank God for you and that bookshelf.”

“That was all Hyungwon. I was just the messenger,” Jooheon says, but there’s a smile twitching at the corner of his lips at the praise. 

“It’s so cool that you can talk back and forth now. You worked so hard.”

Jooheon chuckles a bit and plays with the soda tab. “Thanks.”

Hoseok sends him a smile before he sighs again. “I’m just so scared it’ll ruin everything. We were all alone, and all his attention was on me, and all I could say was that I thought he did a great job leading the team today. And he just smiled and told me I did a great job, and everything  _ hurts _ , Jooheon.”

Jooheon swallows down his want to repeat the words back to him. Because Hoseok has a chance at having his perfect love, and Jooheon doesn’t want to ruin that just because it  _ hurt _ .

“You think there’s no going back, and maybe there isn’t, but Hyunwoo loves you too much to let your feelings ruin your friendship,” Jooheon says. 

Hoseok sighs again, and the sound is so sad it makes something ache and rumble inside Jooheon. 

And everything does hurt. Because he just wants Hoseok to smile and be happy even if his happiness is with Hyunwoo, and he would never be with him. So Jooheon pokes his cheek and puts on a smile. 

“I support you, Hoseok. And don’t feel so rushed. One day the perfect moment will come, and you’ll tell him, and I’m sure everything will work out because you’re amazing. Who wouldn’t love you?” 

Hoseok looks at him, and a tiny smile quirks up on his mouth, making his cheeks go all round, and Jooheon smiles because it’s adorable. 

“Thank you for listening to all this. You really do make me feel better.”

“Good.”

“And you’re right. I’m sure the perfect moment will come.”

Jooheon feels like the soda bubbles are burning back up his throat as he nods. 

“I’m sure it will.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Half the codenames wrote themselves, and the other half took forever, but they'll be explained later I promise.  
> Thanks for reading!  
> Comments and kudos are always appreciated!  
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	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You know, I don't worry about you because it's my job. It’s my job because I worry.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lots of stress and danger and feelings.

Heartbreak had been an easy manageable trickle. Jooheon had steeled himself against it for years and years now. He'd been so used to it. It was like the veil he put over his mind to keep the buzzing out. 

But this? This was a tidal wave crashing onto a shore because he hadn't prepared himself. He wasn't ready at all. 

Bomb missions were always the worst, but they were always worse when they never started out as a bomb mission. 

It had been a robbery. Just a simple robbery until Jooheon heard the apprehended man think about it. 

_ “They didn't even find the bomb. Any second now.” _

“There’s a bomb! We need to find it!” Jooheon had screamed, eyes wide, pressure starting over his right brow as he focused in on the man, pushing past his current thoughts to dig deeper into his memories. 

It hurt. It was much more taxing than sending his own thoughts back with the added need to sift through useless information. And the thudding pain filled up the entire right side of his skull until he found the memory, the little snippet of sound he was looking for. 

“In the cabinets beneath the rings, Wonho!” 

Relief floods him once he can stop, but he can almost physically feel his energy drain from him. Jooheon wobbles a bit on his feet until he feels someone hold him up, help him down into a sitting position.

“I got you, Honey, you're doing great,” Minhyuk says. But all Jooheon can do is watch and listen as Hoseok pushes the rest of the team out of the store as Hyunwoo stares down at what has to be the bomb. 

“I can help! I can throw it so high it won't do anything to us.” Hyungwon yells. 

But Hyunwoo’s mind is already reeling, and it’s louder than usual, and Jooheon feels weak, too weak to transition back to silence.

_ “We can't move it at all, what if it's movement sensitive? What if someone gets hurt? Only three minutes left, fuck.” _

“Stand down, Haunt,” Hyunwoo replies with the calmest, smoothest voice.

“Rule number five,” Hyungwon hisses right into his comm, and it feels like crackling static against Jooheon’s eardrums. 

Hyunwoo groans, and Jooheon sees the glimmer of his shield for a moment, and he knows that he's trying to wrap it around the bomb. 

“Rule number one trumps rule number five, Haunt. No mountains to move here,” Hyunwoo replies. 

“Rule number one applies to you, too,” Changkyun says. 

But there's no arguing with Hyunwoo. Not right now. Hyungwon lets out a little frustrated huff and changes tactics, pushing Kihyun and Changkyun back toward where Minhyuk and Jooheon were standing with his powers.

“Get back, Haunt,” Hoseok says. 

“What about you, Wonho? Why aren't you getting out?”

The line is silent before Hyunwoo sighs. “Both of you shut up, I'm trying to focus here,” he grumbles.

And Jooheon knows that three minutes are ticking by faster than they think. 

“Haunt, come on. Come back here,” Minhyuk breathes into the comm, and Jooheon can only feel the stress coming from everyone, can’t do anything to shrug it off, and it fills him up.

Because Hyunwoo’s shields are amazing, but everytime they tested it with explosives, it never held up quite right. The Headmaster thought it had to do with how much focus Hyunwoo had to use, and how an explosion would frazzle anyone enough to distract them. A bullet? Stopped in an instant. Fire? Water? Repelled. But shrapnel in that little instant where Hyunwoo flinched? 

Deadly.

“Listen to Rime. Both of you, get out,” Hyunwoo whispers, not sparing a glance over at Hoseok or Hyungwon.

“I'm not leaving you,” Hoseok says back, and Jooheon hates it. Hates that he feels like he's watching a movie, and he can't do anything at all to help.

“Haunt, please.  _ Please _ ,” Minhyuk says, his voice high and quiet with all the things he wants to say right now but can't.

“None of you have to be in there, damn it,” Kihyun grits out. He tries to step closer, but Hyungwon waves a hand behind and pushes him back again.

“If the shield gives, I can try to redirect shrapnel,” Hyungwon says. Jooheon looks up at Minhyuk, and his lip is quivering as he stares at Hyungwon's back.

_ “It's too fast. You can't stop shit you can't see,” _ Minhyuk screams in his head so loud that Jooheon couldn't keep it out if he tried.

“Thirty seconds,” Hyunwoo yells out. 

Changkyun turns around and buries his face in Kihyun’s shoulder. Kihyun shuts his eyes. Minhyuk trembles, and Jooheon thinks that he should be the one holding him up now, so he wraps his arms around Minhyuk’s waist. 

“He'll be fine, it'll be fine,” Jooheon says because he has to believe it. Has to believe all of them will be fine. 

Jooheon shuts his eyes when he hears a beep. 

And then he hears the explosion, and the whimper that escapes Minhyuk’s lips at the sound. 

He opens his eyes when he hears Changkyun yell. 

And then he sees Hyungwon jump up into the air. “Fuck yeah, Shownu! Hell yes!” He yells.

Everyone is fine. Hyunwoo is all smiles as he and Hoseok come out of the store, pulling Hyungwon behind them. And Jooheon feels the relief from everyone around them at once, like warm water poured over a tense body, and he smiles as he hugs Minhyuk closer before he lets him go to run straight at Hyungwon. Jooheon pushes himself up to his feet again, slowly making his way over to the celebrating group. 

And then right there in front of everyone, Hoseok grabs Hyunwoo’s collar, and pulls him down, crashing their lips together.

And heartbreak is a tsunami crashing over Jooheon. And his head  _ pounds _ , and he the buzzing turns to full booming static, and there's just words and emotions crashing into him so hard, it almost knocks him over. 

_ Thank God. _

_ Never do that again  _

_ He did it. _

_ He fucking did it. _

_ Relief. Confusion. Joy. _

_ I love you so much, so fucking much. _

The pain turns into something sharp and stabbing against his temple, against his skull, down his spine, and he doubles over.

“Honey? Honey, what's wrong?”

Jooheon groans, and retches because it's too much, so much, and he feels so dumb and overdramatic, but  _ fuck everything is so fucking loud why is everyone screaming. _

“Oh, shit, we need to get him out of here.”

Jooheon retches again, and he can't take a full breath, his whole body filling with the static and noise, and it's in the way whenever he tries to inhale. Someone is picking him up, and movement makes it worse, and he retches again, trying to force everything out, just get it out, so he can close everything off.

“Honey? Honey, can you hear me?”

_ Fuck, what's wrong? _

“He's sweating so much.”

_ We need to go home. _

“Jooheon, we’re in the van now.”

Jooheon sobs. “Loud, too loud,” he manages to croak out.

Hands are on his face, and he manages to open his eyes to see Hyunwoo there, staring at him, brows bunched up with concern. Jooheon aches, but he focuses on Hyunwoo’s eyes. Tries not to look at his lips at all.

“Focus on me, Jooheon. Just on me, okay? Break rule six, focus on just me,” Hyunwoo says softly. 

His head pounds again, but Jooheon forces his brain to close in on just Hyunwoo, fights himself to do that, and he’s so tired, and everything is heavy and slow, but eventually it works.

_ “I'm here. Let me know when you're here.” _

Jooheon nods once. 

_ “Better? Still too loud?” _

He shakes his head a bit. 

_ “Can you put the veil on now?” _

Jooheon takes a deep breath and closes his eyes and feels quiet drape lightly over him.

“I'm so tired,” Jooheon whispers.

Hyunwoo sighs and pulls Jooheon into his arms. “Go to sleep. I got you. I'll wake you up when we get home.”

Jooheon buries his face in Hyunwoo's shoulder and let's himself relax. He’ll deal with the empty feeling in his gut later. He just lets his mind go blank as he falls out of consciousness.

+++

When Jooheon wakes up, he's in his bed. He can hear quiet talking outside his room, and he thinks about just turning over and going back to sleep, but his throat is way too dry to do that. 

He pushes himself up and realizes he's just in his boxers. He sighs and sends out a silent prayer that Changkyun was the one that got him into bed even though he feels like it probably wasn't. 

He pads out of his room to find Changkyun and Kihyun sitting on their couch, legs crossed as they faced each other, their hands intertwined. Changkyun looks up and smiles. 

“Hey. You're awake,” he says. 

“Yeah,” Jooheon says. He makes his way to the kitchen to get himself water, drinks a whole glass down before refilling it and drinking that one down too. 

“We were worried about you,” Kihyun says.

Jooheon sighs before he walks to the couch and plops down on the opposite end from them. “Sorry.”

“You feel better?” Changkyun asks.

Jooheon feels the question trickle down like someone just cracked an egg on his head. 

“Yeah,” Jooheon answers because at least his head doesn't hurt anymore. He still feels slightly gross though. Like when a cake doesn't set all the way. 

“You sure? You looked really bad out there,” Kihyun said. 

Changkyun shoots Kihyun a look before turning back to look at Jooheon. “It wasn't that bad.”

“It's okay, I can kinda tell it was bad. I haven't lost control like that in a minute.”

“Well everything was kinda crazy. It's hard to control everything when there's so much going on,” Kihyun said. 

“God, we’re not going to see Minhyuk and Hyungwon for like a week,” Changkyun snorts. 

Jooheon lets himself smile a bit. “I mean, can't blame them. I didn't think you guys would be here.”

“Someone had to take care of you. Hyunwoo wanted to, but we thought he had other things to deal with,” Kihyun explains. Jooheon and Changkyun glance at each other. 

“Yeah, definitely,” Jooheon says.

Changkyun is frowning at him, but Jooheon ignores it. Now is not the time for his best friend to try to have a heart-to-heart. Jooheon just wants to watch a shitty movie in a cocoon of blankets and drink a beer or two and forget today happened. 

“Are you good? You want us to hang out with you?” Changkyun asks. 

Jooheon feels something flare up which is most definitely Kihyun wishing his boyfriend didn't say that. 

“Nah, I'm fine. I'm sure you and Kihyun are tired of babysitting me.”

“You sure?” Changkyun asks again, and this time Kihyun pouts a little guiltily like he knows he shouldn't have reacted that way.

Jooheon smiles at them. Makes himself smile at them. “Yeah. Just go back to do whatever it is you guys do when you're alone together.”

Changkyun snorts for a second before getting up. “I'll text you later. Let us know if you need anything, okay?”

And then Jooheon’s veil gets pierced with a loud, “ _ I DON’T WANT YOU SULKING! PLEASE TREAT YOURSELF KINDLY! AND TAKE IT SLOW! AND TEXT ME IF YOU NEED ME, I DON’T CARE IF I’M WITH KIHYUN, OKAY?! _ ”

Jooheon flinches and glares at Changkyun who is just grinning at him, seemingly proud of himself for managing to scream that loud in his head.

“I will,” Jooheon grumbles out. Changkyun winks at him before pulling Kihyun out of the room by his hand. 

And then it's just quiet. Quiet in the way that Jooheon usually prefers. 

He sighs and turns on the TV, pulling the fleece blanket they keep on the couch around him. He puts on Twilight because no matter how bad it is, it always manages to make him happy. Changkyun once told him he liked it because of the weird blue filter and the fact that Edward read minds like he could, and Jooheon had been offended for a second before he realized he was probably right. 

He gets to the scene where Edward is saying that everyone in the restaurant is thinking about sex or money when someone knocks on the door. 

Jooheon sighs as he pushes himself up, holding the blanket in place around him as he shuffles to the door. When he opens it, Hyunwoo is standing there, face filling up with a small smile when he sees Jooheon.

Jooheon doesn't want to know why he's smiling, but a little part of him wants to know if it's because of Hoseok. But then there's rule number six, so Jooheon just steps aside to let Hyunwoo walk in.

“Hey. I'm glad to see you up and about,” Hyunwoo says.

“Yep. Up and about. Headache gone. Veil in place. Life is good.”

Why is he so awkward? He knew this would happen one day. Knew one day Hyunwoo would know, and he would have to watch him and Hoseok be together like everyone else in the group.

“Right. I thought you could use some company since I saw Changkyun and Kihyun weren’t doing that anymore.”

“You saw them?”

Hyunwoo makes a face. “Okay, maybe I walked past Kihyun's room, and I could hear that they were in there.”

Jooheon snorts, walking back toward the couch and sitting down on it. “Sounds about right.”

Hyunwoo chuckles as he walks over and hovers near the couch. “You need anything before I sit down?”

Jooheon sighs. When Hyunwoo got like this, worried and doting, it was hard to make him stop, so Jooheon lets him be. “I could use a beer?”

Hyunwoo frowns. “Alcohol? After you had a migraine?” Jooheon pouts up at him for a moment, and they stare at each other before Hyunwoo sighs and walks toward the kitchen. He comes back with two bottles of beer in one hand and a glass of water in the other. 

“You better stay hydrated, too, okay?” he chides.

Jooheon takes one of the bottles and twists off the top. “I will. I know how to take care of myself, you know.”

It's quiet as they both sip at their beers and stare at the TV. Hyunwoo was always great for Jooheon that way. He was steady. No flare ups of emotions to pass over him, no yelling piercing thoughts, no paranoia about Jooheon secretly reading his mind. 

Hyunwoo liked to say that he learned to lead because of Jooheon. Because a few months into Jooheon joining the school, the Headmaster told Hyunwoo that the younger boy would need him. That when things got overwhelming for him, he'd have to be the one to take care of Jooheon, calm him down. If he could lead Jooheon out of his own head, a whole team wasn't as hard.

And he still did it. Still let Jooheon sleep against him after a mission. Still was the one to focus him when he couldn't stop the world from turning too fast under his feet. 

“Why do you still watch this movie again?” Hyunwoo asks.

“Mostly out of habit. Partly because I love it.”

Hyunwoo chuckles. “You did a great job today, by the way. If it wasn't for you, we never would have known about the bomb.”

Jooheon shifts a bit. Still feels like that cake that hasn't set. Everything a bit wobbly and jiggly where it shouldn't be. He puts his beer on the coffee table, afraid it might slip right out of his grasp if he tries to hold it.

“Thanks.”

“And I know it had to be hard to search his mind for the location, but you did it without asking.”

“I had to. We would've run out of time if I hadn't.”

“Exactly. You're so valuable to the team.”

Jooheon sighs and pauses the movie before turning toward him. “Okay. What's going on?”

Hyunwoo tilts his head at him. “What do you mean?”

Jooheon frowns. “Did you give everyone on the team a pep talk or is it just me?”

There's a pause where Hyunwoo looks back at the TV and sips at the beer again. Jooheon groans. “I'm not that insecure middle schooler anymore, Hyunwoo.”

“You're not,” Hyunwoo agrees easily.

“Then why do you do still do this?”

“Because I know you think all you do is watch all of us work when that's not the case.”

Jooheon stops and scoffs weakly. “That's... That's not true.”

“I may not be a mind-reader, but I know you,” Hyunwoo says softly. He's still not looking at Jooheon. Still staring at the paused movie.

Jooheon sighs and slumps forward before pulling the blanket over his head like a hood. “Fine. You made your point. You done now?”

“Actually, no. I still have to fill out the mission report, and I don't know what exactly triggered your loss of control.”

Every curse word in the world cycles through Jooheon’s mind. “The stress,” he answers. 

“You know that doesn't make sense, right? Every mission is stressful.”

Jooheon groans. “Well this was extra stressful. There was a fucking bomb.”

“We've had bomb missions before, and you've never reacted like that. You acted like you had a concussion. Gagging and stumbling around like you couldn't see.”

“I don't have a concussion.”

“We don't know! Sometimes these powers have effects we don't anticipate. I have half a mind to sign you up for an MRI or something.”

“You know that doesn't work with me, right?” Jooheon asks.

Hyunwoo sighs and leans over and pulls the blanket off Jooheon’s head. Jooheon whines as he tries to stop him, but Hyunwoo grabs his wrists. 

“I'm worried about you, Jooheon. Like really fucking worried. I've never seen you like that before,” Hyunwoo says softly.

Jooheon huffs, but he stops fighting, guilt emptying out into his gut.  “I'm sorry.”

“Just tell me what happened, please? If you're so sure it wasn't a concussion.” Jooheon bites his lip, and Hyunwoo lets his wrists slip out of his grip. “Take your time,” Hyunwoo says. 

Jooheon doesn't know what to say. He doesn't want to lie, but telling the full truth isn't an option. After a little while he sighs and settles with vagueness. 

“Going searching through people’s minds isn't good for me. It's more tiring and painful than trying to talk back and forth. And then I was really afraid of losing my teammates for the first time. Like terrified. And everyone else was terrified, and I could feel it. And then when the bomb went off, there were so many emotions and thoughts bombarding me at once, that it was like a flood breaking over the dam. I got really overwhelmed really fast, and it was too many different things at once, and I couldn't stop it.”

Hyunwoo nods slowly. “Okay. That makes sense. You said it was too loud?”

Jooheon nods. “It got real loud in here,” he says, tapping his forefinger to his temple. 

“Okay. I'll put that in the report.”

“Do you need to go do that?”

Hyunwoo shakes his head. “I can do it later. I can stay as long as you need me to.”

Jooheon raises an eyebrow. “You can?”

He thinks about Hoseok somewhere, waiting on Hyunwoo to be done, so they can be together. How Hoseok’s face will light up when he sees Hyunwoo again, like it always does, but different this time. Probably giddier. 

Hyunwoo blinks at him. “Yeah? Where else would I have to be right now?”

Jooheon widens his eyes at him. “Um, I can think of a few places. Or a person you could be with?” He prompts.

Hyunwoo blinks at him a few times before his mouth falls open in a little circle. “Oh! Oh. You're...you're talking about Hoseok?”

Jooheon groans and leans back into the couch, finally unpausing the movie. “Yes, Hyunwoo. I'm talking about Hoseok.”

He waits for Hyunwoo to start gushing and explaining and talking about him, but he doesn't. The movie drones on, and Hyunwoo doesn't move or talk. Jooheon sighs again before picking up his beer and drinking down the rest of it.

Hyunwoo clears his throat a little. “Hoseok and I already talked.”

Jooheon feels like the alcohol ran straight up into his head. He can feel how apprehensive Hyunwoo is, and how Hyunwoo is trying to keep it together. 

“And?”

“I'm more worried about how you’re doing right now.”

Jooheon sits up and pauses the movie. “Excuse me?”

“Whatever is happening between me and Hoseok can wait. You got hurt on a mission--”

“I did not,” Jooheon says, pointing a finger right in Hyunwoo’s face, “get hurt on a mission.”

Hyunwoo frowns. “What else would you call it then? Because you looked pretty hurt, and we were on a mission.”

“God, I'm not hurt. I get a little bit overwhelmed and everyone acts like I almost died.” Hyunwoo’s face goes flat, and maybe Jooheon took it a bit too far dismissing his worries. He looks down and away, rubbing at his temple. “I'm sorry.”

“You know, I don't worry about you because it's my job. It’s my job because I worry.”

“I know.”

“My team member, no scratch that, my  _ best friend _ was in so much pain that he almost puked after a mission. A mission that wouldn't have been as stressful if I was better,” Hyunwoo says. 

Jooheon shakes his head. “Don’t say that.”

“It's true. If you were confident in my shields, you wouldn't have been that stressed.”

Jooheon wants to scream and shake Hyunwoo. But he couldn't explain what was wrong. He turns toward the paused screen and takes a deep breath. “I'm sorry for worrying you. You're a great leader, and I appreciate it, really, I do. But I'm fine. You don't have to sit here with me all night when you have better things to do.”

Hyunwoo sighs and puts his beer down on the coffee table before getting up. And there's some sickening feeling coming from him. Painful. Jooheon shuts his eyes, trying to block it out.

“You really want me...to go to Hoseok?” Hyunwoo asks, and his voice is soft and small.

Jooheon takes a deep breath and lies. “Yes. You guys have stuff to work out, and honestly, I kinda want to be alone for a bit, you know?”

There’s another flare of  _ something _ behind Jooheon where Hyunwoo is, but it dies quickly, like Hyunwoo physically shut it down. 

“Okay. Let me know if you need me. I'll see you later, okay?” Hyunwoo says. 

Jooheon holds the okay sign above his head where Hyunwoo can see before he clicks play on the movie again. He listens for the door opening, then closing.

Jooheon counts back from seven because that's what he's always done. When he gets to one, he sniffles a bit. He hugs the blanket closer around him and finally lets himself cry. 

It'd be easier if heartbreak was one tidal wave. Make it past that one and be fine. But it isn't. It's the tidal wave, and then the tide that follows. Jooheon was still in the upswell, caught drowning in it. He just hoped that if he cried hard enough this one time, he could get over it. He could smile tomorrow at breakfast and act like he wasn't in love with Hoseok. Like it didn't squeeze around his chest when Hoseok looked at Hyunwoo. Like he was just happy for them. 

He was half-way through New Moon when he fell asleep again on the couch, mind finally quieting enough to let him rest.

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Please comment and leave kudos if you enjoyed!  
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	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes very real possibilities never cross his mind, and when they suddenly appear, large and looming like an inevitability, Jooheon feels himself shrink and go blank.

_ His mother is smiling with teary eyes as they drop him off. The plane ride was so long for a small child like him, especially when everyone is so loud around him. People thinking about being late, and people happy for a vacation, and people angry for no reason, and lots of uneasy turbulence dreams.  _

_ She tells him that she’ll come visit whenever she can. She tells him that it’ll be better for him here. She tells him she loves him. _

_ She thinks it, too. Thinks it loud and clear like a bell. She loves him loves him loves him so much. _

_ Then she's gone, and he's alone, and he's sniffling as he stares down at his unfamiliar lunch, and he had learned English at home, but it's so hard.  _

_ And then there's a pale little hand in his view and a big smile when he looks up and everything is okay again. _

+++

Jooheon wakes up to Changkyun gently shaking him. Changkyun is quiet when he wants to be, probably something that comes with turning invisible your whole life. But quiet is welcome around Jooheon. 

“You slept here all night?” Changkyun asks.

Jooheon groans as he sits himself up. He's still on the couch in the living room. The beer bottle is still sitting on the coffee table along with the water bottle. “What time is it?”

“Ten in the morning. You still have an hour left of breakfast time,” Changkyun says.

“Shit.” Jooheon stands up and rubs at his face before he stumbles over to the bathroom to brush his teeth. Changkyun hovers around him, not stepping into the bathroom, but leaning against the doorframe.

“I came to check on you since no one had seen you all morning,” he says.

Jooheon spits out a mouthful of toothpaste before he grumbles, “Thanks.” Then he’s back to brushing his teeth again.

“We got a leave until next week, by the way,” Changkyun says.

Jooheon nods. Hyunwoo’s report must've been pages and pages long for that to happen. He probably ranted about how life-threatening it was. How it ended with someone hurt. Jooheon washed out his mouth. 

“You going to be locked up in the lab all week then?” he asks.

Changkyun laughs. “Maybe not all week. It's not like I have a timeframe to finish my research on.”

“Good.” Jooheon walks past him to his room to change his clothes, putting on a t-shirt and basketball shorts. And Changkyun, again, is hovering at his door. 

“I heard that Hyunwoo came to talk to you?” he asks.

_ There it is _ . Jooheon nods. “Yeah. It wasn't really anything. Were there a lot of people at breakfast?”

Changkyun just shook his head. “Honey, I think we need to talk before you rejoin the general population.”

“I don't think we do,” Jooheon answers. He's purposely ignoring  _ that _ . 

“No, I think you need to know what you're walking into.”

Jooheon sighs as he turns to Changkyun. “What then?”

“Things are really weird and serious right now. I don't know if it's because of the mission or what, but Hoseok and Hyunwoo aren't…” Changkyun trails off.

Jooheon blinks. “Aren't what?”

“They didn't work out together this morning like they usually do. Hoseok didn't even leave his room, and when Ki asked Hyunwoo about it, he just had this weird look on his face before saying he didn't know,” Changkyun says.

Jooheon can almost physically feel his mind screech to a halt. Like he stopped short but momentum kept pushing his internal organs forward. 

“They…what?”

Changkyun groans and his whole face disappears like it does when he gets huffy. “I don't know what happened but it was awkward and tense, and I hate it.”

“Is...Hoseok hasn’t left his room?” Jooheon asks.

Changkyun's face reappears, and he's just pouting and looking down. Jooheon hates it. Hates that he should go eat, but all he can think about it Hoseok being sad.

Jooheon stumbles forward, past Changkyun, past the living room, and out of their dorm. He doesn't think about where he’s going. He just follows his feet forward until he realizes he's in front of Hoseok’s room. 

“Shit,” Jooheon sighs out before he knocks. 

He hears movement before Hoseok barely opens the door a bit, just a crack. He sniffs, and Jooheon can feel how Hoseok feels. Confused and sad and gross. 

“Hey. You okay?” Jooheon asks.

Hoseok sniffs again before he opens the door wider and walks back into the room. Jooheon takes this as his cue to follow after him, so he does. He walks in and closes the door behind him.

Hoseok’s room is like Kihyun’s. It's one big studio with a kitchen to his right, and a door to the bathroom on his left. The rest of the room is always a variable with Hoseok since he has a habit of moving around his furniture whenever he gets bored. This time the bed has been shoved into the far left corner under the window and the TV is across from it. The couch has just been left abandoned in the middle of the room. Hoseok walks past it to flop down onto his bed.

“Hoseok?” Jooheon tries, stepping slowly toward him.

“I don't know what's going on, and I hate everything,” Hoseok says directly into his pillow, but Jooheon is listening hard enough to know exactly what he's saying.

“What happened?” Jooheon asks as he walks toward the bed. He hovers like Changkyun was. He doesn't want to sit on the bed, but he wants to comfort him so bad. Wants to pull him into his arms and kiss his cheeks and tell him that everything will be alright. Instead he thumbs at the edge of his comforter, waiting.

Another wave of just  _ sad  _ hits him before Hoseok pushes himself up and sits, hugging his knees to his chest. Now that Jooheon can look at him, everything inside him pulls. His eyes are pink and puffy, and his face is just a tad bit swollen, and his mouth is turned down into a frown that Jooheon hates more than anything.

Jooheon licks his lips before he finally climbs onto the edge of Hoseok’s bed. “You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to. It's okay. I just wanted to make sure you were okay,” he says.

“When...when we kissed, he kissed me back,” Hoseok says softly, and his voice is shaky and quiet, and this is almost as bad as seeing him kiss Hyunwoo.

Jooheon sucks in a breath. “That’s...that's good, right?”

Hoseok shuts his eyes. “I thought so. I thought it would be. I thought it meant...I thought we’d...shit.” He licks his lips and rubs at his eyes like he’s about to cry again, and that's the last thing Jooheon wants. Jooheon reaches up and fixes the hairs on the back of Hoseok’s head as gently as he can. 

“Shh, it's okay. Take your time.”

Hoseok sniffs again, and he looks up at the ceiling, willing his tears away before he talks again. “I got a lecture about how  _ inappropriate _ that was. Which fine. That's his job or whatever. But then he just. Apologized to me. Like he looked so sorry, Honey.”

“Sorry?” Nothing makes sense. Hyunwoo was supposed to love him back. They were supposed to run off into the sunset together. Jooheon had resigned himself to that. To watching the man he loves be happy with someone else. This isn't how things were supposed to happen.

Hoseok scoffs before rubbing his eyes again. “He said that he might,  _ might _ , have feelings for me, but he can't reciprocate my feelings for him. Not the way I want or whatever.”

Jooheon frowns. “What is that supposed to mean?”

Hoseok slams his hands down on the bed, and if it wasn't galvanized and made specifically for him, the whole bed frame would've fallen apart. Instead, it shakes hard, the headboard buzzing. “It means he likes someone else more than he likes me. God, I'm so stupid.”

“You're not stupid,” Jooheon says, squeezing a bit at the nape of his neck, trying to make him less tense. But it still doesn't make sense.

Even now, teary-eyed and sad, Hoseok was beautiful. He's sweet and amazing and caring, and Jooheon couldn't imagine anyone loving someone more than him. Especially not Hyunwoo. The man who spent almost every waking moment with Hoseok. Working out, training, watching TV, eating. He saw every side of Hoseok, and still smiled and laughed and leaned on him for support. He had to love him back. It didn't make any sense.

“God. And now he said maybe we should stop doing so much together, and I know he's doing it to try help, but it's making things so much worse,” Hoseok says.

And Jooheon feels like he's so close to him and yet not. They’re on a bridge, and Hoseok just stepped off the other side, and Jooheon is right behind him, but he just can't take that step. 

“If you tell him that, I'm sure he’ll stop acting like that,” he says. 

Hoseok sighs and runs his fingers through his hair. He lays back on his bed and presses his palms against his eyes, and everything is frustrating around Jooheon again. 

“You eat breakfast yet?” Hoseok asks, changing the subject. 

“Have you?” Jooheon asks back.

Hoseok nods. “You need to eat. I'm sure you haven't eaten since yesterday.”

Jooheon had almost successfully ignored his empty stomach, but as soon as Hoseok mentioned, he felt just how hungry he was. 

He stares down at Hoseok for a moment before nodding. “Come with me to the cafeteria?”

Hoseok doesn't move his hands. Doesn't look at him at all, and it makes Jooheon feel cold. “I just wanna stay in here for a bit, you know?”

_ Go away. Leave me alone. _

Jooheon freezes. Did he accidentally listen in? Did Hoseok scream that in his head? 

Did everything have to hurt this much?

Hoseok doesn't move. Doesn't act like he knows that Jooheon heard that. So Jooheon takes a deep breath and gets up. 

“Yeah, okay. If you need anything, though,” he says.

“Got it.” And then Hoseok was turning toward his window and pulling the blanket over himself. 

Tears sting almost as much as the piercing headache from yesterday, but Jooheon keeps it at bay. He shuffles out of his room and closes the door gently behind him. 

He's not hungry anymore. All he can think about is those words. 

_ Go away. Leave me alone. _

It didn't sound like Hoseok at all. He'd never told Jooheon to go away. Not once in the long years they've known each other. 

Jooheon feels even emptier than before as he makes his way down to the cafeteria to grab just as much food as he can stomach before breakfast officially ends. 

He chews through a bowl of cereal and an apple before he's just sitting at the empty table, staring idly at the pattern on it. It takes a while before he realizes he should move. He needs to talk this out, or he’ll feel miserable forever. 

With a destination in mind, he finally gets up and walks out of the cafeteria, not noticing the pairs of eyes following him.

+++

When Minhyuk opens the door, his hair is messy, and he’s only wear a pair of basketball shorts. He only opens the door just wide enough for his face and a sliver of his body to show, and Jooheon just blinks at him.

“Um, did I interrupt...something?” Jooheon asks.

Minhyuk grins but shakes his head. “Hyungwon’s asleep. What’s up?” he says softly. 

Jooheon nods slowly as he clears his throat. “I'm sorry if you're busy, but I need... _ a moment _ .”

Minhyuk’s eyes widen a bit. He clicks his tongue before looking behind him for a moment, presumably towards his bed where Hyungwon is. Sighing, he turns back to Jooheon. 

“Give me one second, okay?” he says with a smile.

“Okay.”

The door closes again, and Jooheon sighs as he takes a few steps back and leans against the wall. It isn’t long before Minhyuk steps back out, now dressed in a t-shirt and jeans, hair combed into place, and he throws Jooheon a jacket and blanket. 

“Ready?” Minhyuk asks.

“Yeah,” Jooheon says, peeling himself back off the wall. “And thanks.”

“Don't worry about it. I wasn't doing much more than watching Hyungwon sleep.”

“Slightly creepy, but okay.”

Minhyuk shoves at Jooheon’s shoulder, but he's still smiling all bright, and Jooheon just laughs before he hugs the bundle Minhyuk gave him closer to his chest. 

They walk, and Minhyuk chatters. About what he had for breakfast. About the break they got. About maybe sparring with Kihyun later in the evening. About anything at all that's easy to digest. Jooheon just listens, laughing whenever he makes a joke, shooting him looks when he says something ridiculous. It feels fake. He's still weird and empty, but if he acts like that, Minhyuk’s concern would sky rocket, and instead of chattering, he’d be interrogating.

They walk out of the back of the school, past the gardens and courts and outdoor training facilities until they reach the edge of the forest that surrounds their school. Minhyuk takes a quick look around to see that no one is around before walking into the forest, Jooheon following after him. 

It's not a very long walk. There's a creek that runs nearby that's surrounded by lots of thin trees all bunched up close like a fence around it. They slink their way carefully past them before Minhyuk walks over to the giant flat-topped boulder that's their destination. He climbs on first before Jooheon tosses him the blanket and jacket. Minhyuk catches them and puts them aside before helping Jooheon up onto it. 

Jooheon looks around for a moment. 

It's beautiful here. Quiet with the exception of the soft rushing of the creek, and never too bright because of the trees, but never too dark. He sits down on the boulder before slipping the jacket on over his shoulders and putting the blanket in his lap.

“You ready?” Minhyuk asks as he sits down across from him. 

“Think so.”

“The flashlight should be in the jacket pocket if we need it.” Jooheon reaches into the pocket to squeeze around it and nods at Minhyuk to confirm it’s there. “Cool,” Minhyuk concludes, smirk already in place.

“Do you not get tired of that one pun?” Jooheon asks.

“Never,” Minhyuk replies before he blows on his fingertips, turning them blue again. He stretches his arms out around him, looking up a bit before he moves them up over his head.

When Jooheon was younger, he thought all the ice walls Minhyuk made came straight up out of the ground. It was because Minhyuk always worked from the bottom up, making the illusion of them shooting up from somewhere. Jooheon never liked to think about the science behind how this all works. Changkyun explained it once, talking about molecules and freezing temperatures and how Minhyuk could manipulate them because God-only-knows-why. All Jooheon knows is that Minhyuk can make a damn good ice fort or igloo at a moment's notice, and that's what he was here for. 

All it took was one raise of his arms, and they were surrounded by walls of ice, coming up to make a point above them to make a pyramid before it gets incredibly dark in the little room Minhyuk has made. All Jooheon can feel for a second is how incredibly cold it suddenly is.

Then Minhyuk huffs, and Jooheon feels the frustration just jump off of him before a layer of the ice disappears above them, making it more translucent and letting in some sunlight. 

“I can never get the gradients right,” Minhyuk says, staring up at the skylight he's made.

“Hey, it works,” Jooheon says.

Minhyuk sighs before he looks back down at Jooheon and smiles. “Okay so. You know how this works. Rule Number Three, freezing everything out and all that jazz.”

“And what’s said in here,” Jooheon starts.

“Stays in here,” Minhyuk finishes. He reaches out and pats Jooheon’s knee. “What's up? You haven't asked to do this in a long time.”

Jooheon takes a deep breath before he hugs the jacket tighter around himself. “I never talk about this, so it's hard for me, okay?”

“Okay,” Minhyuk says with a nod. His face is serious now, and he's giving Jooheon all of his attention. 

Jooheon opens his mouth to just say it, but the words get stuck in his throat. He frowns and clears his throat before settling with something else. “I...have feelings for someone.”

Minhyuk just blinks at him, obviously waiting for more. Jooheon groans before he runs his fingers through his hair. “Someone in the group. On the team,” Jooheon adds.

Minhyuk clicks his tongue. “Okay, I won't ask who even though it's pretty obvious who it is.”

Jooheon feels his like something is screaming inside him, and it probably is seeing how Minhyuk ducks his head down and leans away for a moment before Jooheon gets himself under control again. Minhyuk squints up at him again.

“Holy shit, you should use that on missions. It's like a bomb,” Minhyuk says before he shakes his head a bit and blinks away whatever it was.

“Sorry, I just. I didn't know I was that obvious,” Jooheon says.

“Well maybe not to everyone, but I’m pretty sure I can see it,” Minhyuk says.

Jooheon bites his lip. “Do you think it's obvious to him?”

Minhyuk bites his lip for a second before shaking his head. “I'm pretty sure he probably has no idea.”

Jooheon nods, feeling a bit better. “Well, yeah. I like him, a lot, but he definitely confirmed he has feelings for someone else and--”

“Wait, what?”

Jooheon stops. He licks his lips and immediately regrets it because of the cold. “I like him. He very obviously likes someone else. And like, it hurts, but I just want him to be happy, you know? But now he's sad, and he's literally never pushed me away like he just did, and it really fucking sucks.”

It's quiet. Eerily quiet considering he just dropped so much information on Minhyuk that he would normally jump to dissect. Jooheon looks at him, and Minhyuk’s mouth is slightly open as he just stares at him. He blinks, blinks really fast, before he leans forward. 

“You. You’re talking about Hoseok. You like Hoseok,” he says, and the words are coming out in fast little whispers.

Jooheon frowns. “Yeah? I thought you said you knew who it was.”

Minhyuk just keeps blinking for a bit before he nods. “Yeah. Okay. So you’re here to talk about…”

“I don't know. When he kissed Hyunwoo yesterday, my heart just...broke into pieces.”

“Aw, Honey,” Minhyuk says softly, reaching up to card through Jooheon’s hair.

Jooheon sniffs and tries to blinks away tears. “It just hurts. And then this morning Hoseok said that Hyunwoo kinda rejected him, and he didn't  _ say  _ it, but he told me to go away and leave him alone.”

Minhyuk frowns a bit, lips pressed together as he pats gently at the top of his head. “You broke Rule Number Six?”

Jooheon shakes his head. “No! I would never. He just...screamed it so loud I couldn't keep it out.” And saying it out loud almost makes it worse. Because that's real. Hoseok wanted him gone so badly his thoughts flung themselves into Jooheon’s head even when Jooheon tries so hard all the time to keep everything out. 

“Hey, hey, it’s okay. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to seem angry or anything,” Minhyuk says. He pulls Jooheon into his arms, cradling the back of his head, and Jooheon lets himself slump forward into the embrace. 

“I know. It just all sucks, and I can't do anything about it,” Jooheon mumbles.

Minhyuk is quiet again, just holding Jooheon against him. Jooheon takes the time to collect himself again. Volatile emotions were never good for him. 

“Have you...told Hoseok?” Minhyuk tries.

“...no. He’s liked Hyunwoo for as long as I've liked him.”

Minhyuk sighs, squeezes him close for a second before pulling away to look him in the eyes. “Has Hoseok talked to you about it?”

“What?”

“Has he talked to you about how he feels about Hyunwoo?”

“Yeah?”

“And what did you tell him?”

Jooheon blinks. “I...I told him he should confess.”

Minhyuk grins at him like he has the whole world figured out. “Take your own advice, Honey. Tell Hoseok.”

Jooheon immediately starts shaking his head. “No. He's hurt right now, and I told him to confess because I thought he had a chance. I thought Hyunwoo liked him back.”

_ WHAT?! _

Jooheon pulls away from Minhyuk, eyebrows furrowing. “God, you think so loud sometimes.”

Minhyuk slaps his hand over his mouth as if his mouth was the culprit. “Sorry, sorry, didn't mean to,” he mumbles into his palm.

“Why are you so surprised I thought Hyunwoo liked him back? They spend like every waking moment together, and Hoseok is just so--” Jooheon shuts his mouth when he sees Minhyuk scrutinizing him.

“No, keep going. So what?” Minhyuk asks, mischievous smile starting to appear on his face.

“Nope. No. I'm done, melt this all away now, please,” Jooheon says, feeling his cheeks warm as he slaps his hand against the annoyingly solid ice wall.

“Oh come on, don't be all embarrassed now. You were just telling me about literally everything.”

“The only person that kinda knows is Changkyun, and he doesn't even know all this new stuff!”

“That's fine! Hoseok is so…?” Minhyuk prompts.

Jooheon glares at him. “Look. I wanted advice, and now you're just being mean.”

Minhyuk snorts and shakes his head. “I gave you my advice. Tell Hoseok you like him. I'm sure it'll at least make you feel better.”

“Not after what I saw today. Hyunwoo is avoiding Hoseok, and that's the last thing I want to happen to me.”

Minhyuk swallows, and Jooheon certainly feels  _ something _ , but it's a mess, so he doesn't try to linger on it too long. 

“Did...did Hyunwoo give Hoseok a reason why he rejected him?” Minhyuk asks softly.

Jooheon sighs and leans back against the ice. It's cold enough to eke its way through the thick jacket he had on, but Jooheon doesn't mind. Not right now. 

“He told him he liked him but not as much as he likes someone else I guess,” Jooheon says, trying to pick out the important pieces of their conversation from memory.

Minhyuk groans as he stands up, touching the walls around him lightly. 

“Do you have any idea who the other person is?” he asks. Jooheon shakes his head, feeling apprehension start to turn his stomach. Minhyuk sets his jaw again. “Rule Three, yeah? We don't talk about any of this outside of here?” Minhyuk asks. And it feels like he's saying it more to himself than anything. Jooheon just stares up at him.

“Yeah. Of course.”

“Great,” Minhyuk says. His hands against the walls close to fists, and the ice sublimates to nothing around them. Minhyuk sighs and brushes his hands against his pants. “I think I'm going to call my parents later. It's been a while.”

Jooheon can tell Minhyuk is slightly annoyed, but he doesn't know why. 

“I'm...sorry for bothering you?” Jooheon tries.

“What? No, you're not bothering me,” Minhyuk says, looking down at Jooheon again.

“Then why are you all...upset?”

Minhyuk sighs before he hops down from the boulder and reaches his hands up to help him down. “Rule Three. Can't talk about it.”

Jooheon frowns, but he knows better than to try to fight that. He takes the jacket and blanket off before tossing them to Minhyuk and sliding down the boulder. “Look, l’ll think about telling Hoseok, but I'll give him a few days first. He obviously wants to be alone for now.”

“I'm sorry I can't help you more,” Minhyuk says with a pout. 

“It's fine. I feel better now that I talked about it.”

“Can I ask you something though?”

“Are we still under rule Number three?” Jooheon asks, eyebrow raised. Minhyuk nods. “Then sure.”

“If Hyunwoo and Hoseok really got together, do you really think you could handle it? You say you just want him to be happy, but you can't live your life watching someone else be happy in your stead.”

Jooheon frowns. “I'm not a baby. I can handle it.”

“Okay, sure. But one kiss, and you literally were about to black out.”

“I was already exhausted when that happened!”

“Fine, fine,” Minhyuk says, putting his hands up in surrender. “But I'm thinking about the good of the team here. If you keep showing up in those reports as hurt, they’re going to try re-assigning you.”

Sometimes very real possibilities never cross his mind, and when they suddenly appear, large and looming like an inevitability, Jooheon feels himself shrink and go blank. 

He didn't think about how under his name in the database there would be the words  _ Incident Reports  _ with the number one sitting next to it now. Because the little migraines? Those were par for the course as far as the school was concerned. Fatigue caused by exercise.

But what happened yesterday wasn't that. It was enough to worry the whole team. Enough for Hyunwoo to mention it in a report. Enough to get him flagged in the system as potentially a problem for this otherwise perfectly built team.

“N-no. We’ve been grouped together since I was  _ eight _ , Min. We literally all picked our codenames together. We’ve been trained to handle things  _ together _ .”

“And Seungcheol and Jihoon did literally everything with Jonghyun and Minki until they decided they just couldn't anymore.”

“But their powers were too similar. They didn't work well together.”

“And when you work with us, you end up hurt. That's how the system is going to see it. And if being around Hyunwoo and Hoseok triggers volatile reactions from you--”

“Stop. It's not going to be like that. One incident doesn't mean I'm going to be re-assigned,” Jooheon says firmly.

Minhyuk presses his lips together and nods. “You're right. One incident is nothing.” And he doesn't have to finish his thought. Jooheon doesn't have to hear it to know what he's leaving out. One is nothing. But if they stack up? If it happens more?

He doesn't want to think about it. 

“Let's get back. I'm sure Hyungwon is missing you,” Jooheon says.

“And what are you going to do?” Minhyuk asks.

Jooheon shrugs as he snakes his way through the trees. “Hyunwoo said he wanted me to do some tests, so I'll probably go look for him and do that.”

Minhyuk doesn't answer until they’re walking back through the forest again. “For your head?”

Jooheon snorts. “Yeah, for my head.”

Minhyuk folds the blanket and jacket as small as he can as they walk before he ruffles Jooheon’s hair. “Well, let us know how that goes, okay? We were worried.”

“Yeah, yeah. It should be fine, but I'll text the group chat.”

“Good.” They finally get back to the proper grounds. It's further in the day, so there’s more people around, and it's noisier. Thoughts buzzing everywhere. Jooheon sighs as he tries to keep them away. Focuses in on just himself to help make the veil stronger. 

“Jooheon?” Minhyuk says.

“Hm?”

“If you need anymore...moments? I'm here, okay?”

Jooheon smiles and nods. “I know.”

“And...talk to Hoseok, yeah?”

Jooheon nods as they walk into the dorms again. “Yeah, yeah. Go back to your boyfriend already.”

And Minhyuk sighs a bit before he smiles again. “Don't have to tell me twice. See you.”

Jooheon doesn't know what emotion Minhyuk leaves in his wake. He only knows that it feels like something tall standing behind him. Like when it's about to rain but it just won't yet. 

He has to shake it off hard before he feels normal enough to go find Hyunwoo. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

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	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They’re giving off a mess of emotions that Jooheon could drown in. He stares out the window, taking deep measured breaths. It’s almost suffocating, everything they’re feeling and trying not feel filling up the whole van.

“This sucks. Why the hell are  _ we _ the ones doing this?” Kihyun whines from the back seat. 

“I don't know why you’re complaining, I think this is great,” Minhyuk pipes up. He has a way too pleased grin on his face, lounging in the normal uniform while the rest of them are tightly bundled up in thick padded jackets. 

Although Kihyun is the most bundled, keeping his un-gloved hands trapped between his thighs for warmth. 

“You know, you’d think you’d be able to keep yourself warm, babe,” Changkyun says. 

“Trust me, if I could set myself on fire right now, I would,” Kihyun responds. 

“I don't get what the issue is. Snow is great!” Minhyuk says. Kihyun glares at him, his lips pressing together. 

“Listen, if you want to blame anything, blame my bad luck. We got a week off, and then this mission came up. Jihoon was the one who said we should pick straws,” Hyunwoo says. He's sitting in his usual spot in the front of the van, though Jooheon isn't in his usual spot. 

Jooheon is sitting next to Kihyun in the back, he and Hyungwon having switched places. 

It's been a week, and he hasn't talked to Hoseok since he had told him to leave. Well, wanted him to leave. 

According to Changkyun, Hoseok hasn't talked to much of anyone in the past week. 

Jooheon glances over at him, wrapped up in his white jacket that only makes him look even bulkier. He's staring out the window, decidedly not looking at Hyunwoo. 

Hyunwoo, for his part, isn't looking at him either. Only glancing over every once in a while before guiltily staring down at the papers in front of him.

They’re giving off a mess of emotions that Jooheon could drown in. He stares out the window, taking deep measured breaths. It’s almost suffocating, everything they’re feeling and trying not feel filling up the whole van. 

It doesn't help that Kihyun is radiating annoyance next to him, and Minhyuk is screaming excitement in front of him. 

Everyone  _ thinks  _ and  _ feels _ too loudly for Jooheon’s current taste. 

“Look, it should be pretty straightforward. A research expedition left behind some equipment, and we just have to retrieve it,” Hyunwoo says. 

“I thought this was a rescue,” Hyungwon pipes up.

Hyunwoo grimaces. “Rescuing equipment, I guess.”

Something flares up that has to be Changkyun, and Jooheon just shuts his eyes, imagines himself like a kid pulling his covers up over his head. 

“Why do they need a whole superpowered team to do this? Couldn't they...you know. Get it themselves?” Changkyun asks. 

The atmosphere changes quickly. Suddenly, everyone is all feeling and thinking the same thing. 

_ He’s right. This is weird. _

One loud unanimous thought is much easier to deal with than the weird emotion soup Jooheon was trying to swim in just a few seconds ago. So he leans forward in his seat and focuses in, too. 

Hyunwoo shrugs. “We didn't get many details other than the coordinates, and that there's no one there. And you have to go through a pretty rigorous process to contact the school.”

“Yeah, they can't let us get up to weird shenanigans,” Minhyuk agrees. 

Changkyun hums an agreement, leaning against Kihyun again. “I know. It just. Feels weird. A whole team of us? To pick up some shit in the arctic?”

Hyunwoo frowns down at his papers before putting them away in his bag. He leans his elbows against the back of the seat and looks at all of them. All of them. Even Hoseok. 

“Look, we’ve gone into situations blind before. Hell, that's how we trained. So we just follow protocol like we always do, and everything will be fine, yeah?” Hyunwoo says. And he even smiles at the end, encouraging. 

Jooheon can't help but glance over at Hoseok again. He’s looking up at Hyunwoo, face serious. 

Jooheon looks back outside. He can feel the cold seeping through the thick glass. Everything around them is white, covered in snow. 

“Are we almost there?” Hyungwon asks. 

Hyunwoo turns back toward the GPS. “Just about, I think,” he answers.

It goes quiet again. 

It’s tense. 

Jooheon feels like he might puke, but that's the last thing he needs. 

Minhyuk sighs and turns around, holding his hand out to Kihyun. It's slowly turning blue.  

“Come on,” he says. 

Kihyun squints at Minhyuk, then at his hand. “If you think I'm going to touch your freezing hand in this weather--”

“You have to. I have to touch your flaming hand even if we’re in the desert,” Minhyuk says back. 

Kihyun rolls his eyes, but he’s grinning now as he reaches out, hand turning red.

Jooheon smiles as their hands sizzle together for a second. 

At least one thing in this weird mess is still normal. 

“We’re here,” Hyunwoo says. The van stops a few seconds later, and Jooheon can’t open the door and slip out fast enough. He almost doesn't notice the cold. 

Until it smacks him directly on his uncovered cheeks, and he stops in place only a few steps away from the van. 

“Oh  _ fuck _ ,” he says because that's the only possible reaction. 

“Wow, this is nice,” Minhyuk says as he steps out past Jooheon. Jooheon glares at him. He’s only wearing one layer to Jooheon’s four. 

“Oh  _ fuck  _ this,” Kihyun yells out as he walks up. In his cupped hands, he's holding a little ball of flame. Changkyun is already holding his gloved hands out toward it, and Jooheon is quick to join him. 

“You know, I swear you guys keep better composure in riskier situations,” Hyunwoo said as he walked up. 

“Risky situations. Perfectly normal temperatures,” Kihyun grumbles. 

“God, where is this thing so we can get out of here?” Hyungwon asks, looking around. 

“Right. It should be around here somewhere. The coordinates were pretty exact,” Hyunwoo says. 

“We should split up,” Hoseok says. Everyone turns to look at him. It's the first words he's spoken all day. He pulls his scarf up over his mouth. “You know. To make looking easier.”

“Right. I.M and Haunt--”

“It's just us, you don't have to use codenames,” Changkyun interrupts. 

Hyunwoo sighs and nods. “Right. You two, head south. Hyungwon can pull stuff out of the ground if need be. Minhyuk, I assume you’re fine looking by yourself?”

“Sure am!” Minhyuk’s already wiggling his fingers, ready to manipulate all the ice and cold around them. 

“Great. You head West. Jooheon, you and Kihyun can head east. Ki, don't melt everything, okay?”

“Got it. Don't melt everything.”

“And Hoseok--”

There's a moment in the very pregnant pause where all Jooheon can hear are very surprised internal expletives. 

“I'll head north with you in case you need some extra muscle,” Hoseok says. 

“Yeah. That. Call on your comms if you find anything.” A very succinct dismissal. 

Kihyun nods away from the van and starts walking. Jooheon takes one last look at everyone else heading off before he trails after him. 

The snow crunches under Jooheon’s boots, and his cheeks still sting, but at least things are calmer the further they walk. He doesn't feel like puking anymore. Or like he's suffocating. 

“I wish we knew what we were looking for,” Kihyun says. 

“Agreed,” Jooheon says. 

Kihyun is still holding a ball of fire, but he’s let it grow bigger now, holding it out between them. It definitely helps, Jooheon’s side already feeling a lot warmer. 

“If only I had fireproof clothes,” Kihyun says. 

Jooheon snorts. “It probably would be nice to walk with a human-shaped fire right about now.”

“It'd be nice to  _ be  _ a human-shaped fire right about now.”

They walk a little more, eyes searching the barren landscape. Jooheon turns around to find that they’ve walked quite far. The others are already smaller shapes far away. 

“It was so awkward in the car, too,” Kihyun says softly. 

Jooheon looks at him. Kihyun is staring ahead, fire going steady. 

“W-what do you mean?”

Kihyun clicked his tongue. “You know exactly what I mean. Hyunwoo and Hoseok,” he whispers out. 

Well, at least Jooheon wasn't the only one getting second-hand suffering. 

“Yeah. I know. I'm sure they'll work it out soon, though,” Jooheon offers. 

Kihyun nods. “I hope so. Sooner rather than later. It's weird to see Hoseok moping and sulking, and it's weird to see Hyunwoo feeling guilty.”

“It's weird not to see them together,” Jooheon says. He turns around again to look for their silhouettes, but he can't find them. He frowns. The white of the jackets weren't that good of a camouflage. 

“Yeah, it’s just...bad. Feels gross. I don't know. Ugh, where the hell is this thing?” Kihyun’s voice sounded far away as Jooheon’s eyes searched the frozen plain.

Their comms come to life in their ears, static and a groan and then nothing. Kihyun turns toward Jooheon, eyes wide. 

The fire went out. 

“Hello? Everyone alright?” Kihyun asks. 

Jooheon holds his breath, but his feet are already shuffling forward. 

“Changkyun and Hyungwon here. That wasn't us.”

Kihyun's voice came in through the comm. “Minhyuk? Hyunwoo? Hoseok?”

“Wasn't me,” Minhyuk’s voice crackles through. 

Jooheon’s running, he realizes. He doesn't know quite when he started, but he’s sprinting now, veil already lifting off and probably falling lost in the snow somewhere behind him. 

“ _ Hoseok! Hyunwoo! _ ”

He’s screaming out in his mind, waiting, hoping for a response. He doesn't know how far they got, but it couldn't be that far. 

“ _ Hoseok! Guys! _ ”

Jooheon takes it all back. He would rather see Hoseok miserable and dejected than not at all. He needs him there, he needs all of them there. 

“ _ Can you hear me? Yell back! _ ”

The cold rakes at his cheeks, and his eyes water because he didn't put on his goggles, but he still runs forward. He ignores the little tug he feels on his right temple as he keeps yelling out and listening, yelling out and listening. 

“ _ Guys, please! _ ”

“ _ JOOHEON, DON’T-- _ ”

But it was too late. 

The snow gives way under his feet, and he falls straight down.

This time when he yells, it isn't just in his head. 

“ _ Jooheon! _ ”

He doesn't fall as far as he thought he would, crashing hard into something strangely warm first. When he opens his eyes, he realizes what it is. 

Hyunwoo's shield. All of it doubled up over and over again to make a strong enough surface to hold him up. 

It and Jooheon slide slowly down onto a ridge before it disappears, and Jooheon shudders. 

The first thing Jooheon registers is  _ pain _ . Someone else’s pain. Thoughts about pain.  _ It hurts it hurts it hurts.  _

Jooheon shuts his eyes to keep that out. He can't be useful if he's suffering through someone else’s pain. 

The next thing he registers is  _ annoyance _ , but it isn't towards anyone. That’s doubled back again like the shield was. 

Jooheon takes a deep breath and looks up. 

Hyunwoo is panting, doubled over and leaning against a wall of ice as he tries to catch his breath. Hoseok is laying on the ground next to him, scarf now folded up and under his left foot. 

“What happened?” Jooheon asks, and he realizes that the question is stupid. It's obvious what happened. They, like him, fell down a crevice in the ice, and Hoseok probably broke his leg. 

Hyunwoo straightens up, and he looks up at where they fell from. Jooheon follows his gaze. It’s only about a ten-meter fall to the ridge they were on, but when Jooheon looks to the side, he realizes how lucky they are that they fell here instead of further down into the black mouth of a ravine. 

“I tried to tell you guys to be cautious,” Hyunwoo says, face stoic and serious as he looks over at Jooheon.

Jooheon rolls his eyes and stands up, brushing the snow off his pants. “Your comm must've taken damage in the fall because all we heard was static.”

“Great,” Hoseok grumbles. 

“Look, I can get you both out of here, just give me a second to work my strength back up,” Hyunwoo says. 

And then Hoseok looks at Hyunwoo like he had at the store with the bomb. 

“I’m not leaving you here alone,” Hoseok says. 

Hyunwoo sighs as he rolls his wrists. “We’re not having this argument again.”

“Hyunwoo--”

“Your leg is probably broken. I need to get you up there so someone can take you to the van, and, at the very least, elevate it before we get back,” Hyunwoo says.

“He’s right. You can't stay down here,” Jooheon says. 

Hoseok looks at him, and he looks so small sitting there in his white jacket, it makes Jooheon ache. 

“How are you going to get out then?” Hoseok asks, turning his attention back to Hyunwoo. 

“I’m sure Minhyuk could get me back up. I'd be up there right after you.”

“W-what about the mission?” Hoseok tries again. 

It's desperate, but Jooheon doesn't understand why. Hoseok is asking for something, but not for whatever he was saying out loud. 

“Whatever it was, it fell down the ravine. There is no saving it,” Hyunwoo says with a glance back past their ridge.

Hoseok groans as he falls back, laying all the way down. “You don't even know if you can do it.”

Jooheon stares. Hoseok has never doubted Hyunwoo before. He blinks and turns to find Hyunwoo staring too. 

“I-I caught Jooheon. It worked with him,” Hyunwoo says softly.

“You shouldn't overexert yourself like this,” Hoseok whines, and Jooheon sighs. That made more sense. 

“I think you both need to calm down a bit. You’re both agitated, and I get it, but that's not going to help us get out of here,” Jooheon says. 

And then he feels it again. He hadn't felt it since that day a week ago when Hyunwoo came to check on him. An overwhelming feeling of  _ something _ . 

And just as soon as he registers it, it's gone. Like it hadn't been there in the first place. 

“You're right,” Hyunwoo says softly. 

Jooheon looks at the two of them for a moment before he looks back up at where they fell from. 

“I’ll try to call them, okay?” Jooheon says. 

“Yeah. Go ahead,” Hyunwoo says. 

Jooheon steps a bit away from them. He tries his comm first. 

“I found them, but we need help,” he says into it. 

There's nothing. Not even static. 

Jooheon swallows and looks up. He takes a deep breath, and he feels that tug again, but he balls up his fists and calls anyway. 

“ _ GUYS! I found them! Someone respond please! _ ”

“ _ Don’t let him stay down here by himself. _ ”

Jooheon blinks and looks back over to them. Hoseok is staring right at him, one eyebrow raised as if he was checking. 

Jooheon looks up and tries again, tries as loud as he can. 

“ _ GUYS! HERE! _ ”

“ _ The snow above is at least a meter thick. One wrong move and that all falls down on top of us. On top of him. And if he gets us out the way he wants, he won't have enough energy to use his shield to protect himself _ ,” Hoseok’s voice drones somewhere in the back of Jooheon's skull. 

The snow is thick. Thick enough to block out the sun, but not strong enough to hold up their weight. Jooheon squints, and he can see the glimmer of Hyunwoo’s shield already around them, put in place just in case. 

Hoseok is right. The snow would be nothing to Hyunwoo’s shield, but if lowering Jooheon down tired Hyunwoo enough to have him panting…

Jooheon swallows. He looks back over to Hoseok, and he’s still looking at him. He still looks small. 

“Hyunwoo, maybe we should wait together for everyone to come,” Jooheon says. 

Hoseok smiles a bit at him before he looks away. Hyunwoo just stares at him. 

“You can't be serious,” he says.

“I mean. The snow--”

“Has anyone checked in with you?” Hyunwoo asks. 

Jooheon stops. “No.”

“Then we have to assume that they aren't coming. That's protocol. That’s the way this works.”

“But--”

“No. If I can get you guys up there, then you could get them over here to help me,” Hyunwoo says. 

“You know they're coming for us, though,” Hoseok says. 

“Sure. But they can find us faster if I get you guys out of here.”

It's tense again. They’re snapping at each other, and Jooheon can feel the anger come off them like heat from a fire. 

He tries to just call again, shouting as loudly as he can in his mind. 

“Just because I might have broken my ankle--”

“That's exactly why, Hoseok. You’re hurt on a mission, and it's my job to treat it as best as I can.”

“Well, causing me distress because you’re staying down here is not treating anything.”

“Why are you being petty right now? I know you're hurt, but this isn't the time. I’m trying--”

“You’re not trying anything! You're too tired to do it anyway!”

“What is the big problem with me trying to get you out of here? It's not like I'm going to be stuck down here forever.”

“I don't want to leave you down here by yourself when you can get hurt!”

Jooheon hates this. His head is starting to hurt, and everything feels raw. He leans against the wall and calls out again despite the stabbing pain he feels on his temple. 

“You cannot keep putting yourself in dangerous situations just because I might get hurt, Hoseok. If I get hurt, whatever. If you get hurt  _ because  _ of me--”

“I’m already hurting because of you!”

The first and only thing Jooheon can register is  _ pain _ . 

His pain and Hoseok’s mirrored into one. 

He buckles, knees and waist, and the only real thing he can ground himself in is the burning cold seeping through his gloves.

The next thing he registers is being scooped up, and he almost struggles, tries to push off whatever is trying to hold him, but then he realizes there's nothing there to fight. He gets dragged up fast, whole body heaving upwards, until he's slumped into the snow, and the wind is cutting at his face again.

When Jooheon opens his eyes, they aren't in the ravine anymore. Hyungwon is squatting a few feet away, breathing fast. He blinks and looks around. All of them are there, Hoseok and Hyunwoo next to him. They both look just as shocked as Jooheon feels. And then there’s anger again, but it isn't coming from them. 

“What the hell is wrong with you guys?” Minhyuk asks. 

Jooheon opens his mouth to speak, but he feels the stabbing pain again, and then Changkyun is next to him, wrapping his arms around him. 

“Shh, Honey, it's okay. You did so much,” he whispers against his hair. 

“Babe,” Hyungwon croaks out, and he’s worried. Very worried. When Jooheon looks up, he instantly sees why. 

Minhyuk’s throat has turned the icy blue of his fingers, his lips too. It's cold, but it's colder than it was. Than it should be. 

It's been a long time since Jooheon has seen Minhyuk truly angry. He had almost forgotten how scary it could be.

“Minhyuk, come on. Rule number four,” Kihyun says. He's walking up next to him, trying to smile. “If  _ I _ can't be a hothead, you certainly can't either,” he says. 

Minhyuk looks at him, and then up at the sky, takes two deep breaths, and then he looks back down, narrowing his eyes at Hyunwoo and Hoseok. 

“Hyungwon got here first, and when he saw you guys, he thought it had to be bad. He literally yanked all three of you up at once. He’s  _ never _ strained himself so much.”

“Babe, stop,” Hyungwon says. He pushes himself up slowly, and Jooheon can see how exhausted he is. He’s slouching and dragging his feet as he walks up behind him. 

“We...we were disagreeing about how to proceed,” Hyunwoo says softly. 

Minhyuk scoffs and points over to Jooheon, still cradled against Changkyun's chest. He knows he probably looks bad, grimacing and eyes half-shut because his head hurts.

“Jooheon was screaming his mind out at us. You both know how hard that is on him. Especially after last mission,” he says. 

Jooheon can't deal with this anymore. He’s so tired, and everything hurts. 

_ It hurts it hurts it hurts. _

“Minhyuk,” Hyunwoo says, and it's supposed to be a warning, but it doesn't feel like it. 

“I don't care what happened between you guys, but you need to fix it. I'm not losing my fucking team, my fucking  _ family _ , because you two couldn't figure it out,” Minhyuk says. 

And then he turns around, the snow sifting and shifting and moving in front of him as he goes to work making a sled of ice to put Hoseok on. 

Jooheon stays awake out of sheer will. They can drag Hoseok back to the van, but probably not both of them. He lets Kihyun help him up to his feet, and somehow is able to ignore the stabbing pain in his head. He knows Hyunwoo keeps looking over at him, but he ignores it until they make it back.

They put Hoseok in the back seat, laid out with his foot up in Changkyun's lap. He winces as they take his shoe and sock off, but he doesn't say anything else. He lets Changkyun try to make each layer of his skin and muscle invisible one by one, so he can look at the bones beneath. 

“That's gross,” Hyungwon comments as he piles into the seat in front of them, claiming the window seat. Minhyuk sits next to him, and then Kihyun slides in next to him, so he can turn back to look at whatever Changkyun is doing. 

Jooheon looks over at Hyunwoo, and Hyunwoo looks at him. They silently get into the van and close the door. 

The van comes to life and starts moving. It'll be a long while before they get back, even with the van changing around them to become a helicopter. 

“I don't see any fractures. It could just be a really bad sprain,” Changkyun announces. 

_ Good, _ Jooheon thinks. He glances over at Hyunwoo, and Hyunwoo holds an arm out toward him. 

Jooheon feels like his brain is turning to goo inside his skull. He leans closer, laying his head against Hyunwoo’s chest, listens to the familiar rhythm of his heart. 

_ Something _ wraps around him, warm and strange, but it's not unwelcome. 

“Don't put me in the incident report,” Jooheon asks softly. 

Hyunwoo sighs. “I won't. Just get some rest.” His hand scratches gently at the back of Jooheon’s scalp, and Jooheon finally lets himself give into his own exhaustion. 

+++

When he wakes up, it isn't in the comfort of his own room. He groans as he realizes he's in the infirmary, monitors on both of his temples.

He sits up slowly, pushing himself up on his elbows to find Changkyun sitting in the corner of the room. They look at each other for a second. 

“You’re awake,” Changkyun says finally. 

“I am. Any reason why you took me here instead of the room?” He pulls the monitors off of him and swings his legs over the side of the bed he’s in. 

“Well, we did at first,” Changkyun says carefully. He walks over and looks at Jooheon, lips tight. 

Jooheon tilts his head. “And?”

“I brought you here when you didn't wake up after a day.”

His heart falls down into his gut. 

“How long have I been out?”

Changkyun frowns as he looks down at his watch. “Two days total,” he answers. 

Jooheon presses his palms against his eyes. “Fuck.”

“Yeah.”

“I'm in the incident report, aren't I?” Jooheon asks. 

“Well…”

Jooheon looks back up at him. “Well?”

“I...kinda didn't tell anyone? Everyone thinks you're just...moping?”

Jooheon glances back around and realizes this isn't really the infirmary. Not the main one. This is the old one that no one ever went to after they remodeled. It’s mainly used for storage, and if there were too many people for the main one, but they never got to that point. 

“So you've been nursing me back to health...by yourself?” Jooheon asks. 

Changkyun shrugs and looks down. “I didn’t do much. Just put monitors on you and put in an IV and shit. Oh, and I checked your brain, but it looks pretty intact.”

“You know, you're scary enough without the whole genius thing,” Jooheon says. He looks down at his arm to see a pink band-aid there where he assumes Changkyun had taken the IV out. 

“I took it out because your brain activity starting ticking back up and changing, so I figured you might be waking up soon. Didn't want you to yank it out or something.”

Jooheon grins. Changkyun sometimes got shy about how smart he was, but it always made Jooheon feel proud of him. 

“Thanks. But hasn't Kihyun been worried about you?”

Changkyun scoffs and shrugs. “Everytime he came by, I told him I was busy with my research, and I needed to focus. He knows how important that is to me.”

“Don't we all. Am I free to go, doctor?”

“Shut up,” Changkyun says, head disappearing entirely. Jooheon just laughs until it comes back. “I think you’re fine. You probably overexerted yourself out there, and the stress probably caught up to you.”

“Lucky we haven't gotten assigned new missions, huh?” Jooheon says. He finally slides off the bed, a bit unsteady on his feet, and Changkyun grabs onto his arm to help. 

“Hyunwoo put us in for an official leave. It was hard to swing with the mission fail, but since it's our first one, they let it slide.”

The words turn over slow in Jooheon’s mind. 

“Mission fail?”

“Yeah, although Hyunwoo tried fighting the headmaster on it. He said there was no saving the equipment. Not with our team.”

Jooheon nods a bit, internally analyzing himself. His head doesn't hurt anymore, and he doesn't feel weak. Everything feels fine. 

“Official leave?” He asks. 

“Yep. One month to shoot the shit because of Hoseok’s sprained ankle.”

Hoseok. Jooheon couldn't imagine him laying up in bed or walking around in crutches. 

“How is he?” Jooheon asks. 

Changkyun clears his throat as he busies himself turning off all the machines. “Fine.”

Jooheon stops and looks at him. “Fine?”

“I mean, I haven't seen him much, but I'm sure he's fine,” Changkyun says. 

Jooheon tries to stare a hole into the back of his head. 

“What do you mean?”

Changkyun coughs a bit before he turns to look at him. He tilts his head side to side like he's considering something. Jooheon waits, staring at him. 

“Apparently, he and Hyunwoo had a really big talk,” Changkyun says. He enunciates every syllable carefully, no stumbling or slurring. 

Jooheon raises a brow. “And?”

Changkyun clucks his tongue and then he's just gone entirely. Jooheon blinks and reaches out toward where he was. 

“Changkyun, you can just run away,” Jooheon says. 

There's a sigh, and then Changkyun rematerializes next to him. 

“They came by a lot to try to check on you. They must've fixed whatever it was because they always came together.”

Jooheon shuts his eyes and takes a deep breath. He knew it would happen eventually. Had planned on it. Had hoped for it, even. 

And it still makes something deep inside his chest ache enough for him to slow down. 

“Good. I’m glad they figured it out,” he says.

“What...happened down there? It seems like it was tense,” Changkyun asks. 

“They were fighting. I think everything just piled up on them, and then it just came to a head there.”

Changkyun nods along, staring at the ground. “When we got back they couldn’t even look at each other. And then a day later they were inseparable again. I think Hyunwoo has made himself Hoseok’s personal nurse while he’s halfway out of commission.”

Jooheon nods, remembering how Hyunwoo’s annoyance was doubled in on himself. He wasn’t mad at Hoseok. He never was mad at Hoseok. He was mad at himself for letting something happen to him. 

Hyunwoo never said his apologies. He showed them. It was one of the reasons he always ended up in Hyunwoo’s arms after a mission. It was an apology.  _ Sorry that I can’t make you not hurt, stay here until it doesn’t anymore instead _ .

Jooheon can almost hear it in his voice. Wonders what it’s saying to Hoseok right now. Wonders if it makes Hoseok smile like he had before.

“Good. That’s good. I’m glad,” Jooheon says. 

“Honey, stop. Stop doing that,” Changkyun says. 

“Stop what?”

“Stop acting like everything is fine when I know you’re not fine.”

Jooheon has no response to that. He just looks around the room to find his wallet, keys, and phone. Changkyun points to the chair he had been sitting in, and Jooheon walks there to grab them. 

“Honey,” Changkyun tries again. 

“What am I supposed to say? I have feelings for someone that will never have feelings for me. What else is there?”

“I don’t know. Fuck. Talk about it or something instead of letting it all build up inside you like that. It can’t be good for you.”

Jooheon rolls his shoulders back. “Talk to who, Changkyun? You? Minhyuk? I’m sure you’ll get tired of it eventually.”

“I’ll deal with it if makes you feel better,” Changkyun says easily. The worst part for Jooheon is he knows he means it. 

“I just don’t know how it would help,” Jooheon says. 

Changkyun shrugs. “I don’t know. But it might. Might help a lot.”

Jooheon sighs before he looks down. “Fine.”

“Oh, and call your mom. She was messaging earlier.”

At that, Jooheon perks up. He hasn’t talked to his mother in a while because of everything going on. 

“Okay, yeah. Are you going back to the room or are you going to hang out with Kihyun tonight?” Changkyun smiles at him, and Jooheon has his answer. “Well, thanks for taking care of me, I guess. And thanks for keeping this secret.”

“No problem,” Changkyun says. 

Jooheon nods and heads out, stretching as he went. Everything was stiff from laying down for so long. The only things on his mind are calling his mother when it isn’t the middle of the night in Korea, and the emptiness that’s starting to open up inside of him. 

At least somewhere, Hoseok and Hyunwoo were happy together. Hoseok was happy. He had to be. 

Steeling himself with that image, Jooheon goes back to the room to finally shower and watch Twilight like he always did after hard missions. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!  
> I really appreciate all the love this has been getting lately, it makes me feel all warm.  
> Hit me up:  
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	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Resignation. It's a strange emotion to have wash over him. It's not an emotion he deals with often. A stale sadness that's been freshened up with determination and stained with inevitability.

Jooheon went home. A guaranteed month off was nothing to give up at the school, and Jooheon hadn’t been home in years. 

It felt good to be back in Daegu even though it didn't feel like home anymore. He hadn't lived there since he was a young child, but his mother always folded him back into her life easily whenever he visited. She always kept a room clean and ready for him. She would always cook his favorite dumplings for him when he came. She would smile and pinch his cheeks and call him her baby before she kissed his forehead.

And he had needed to get away. The only calls and texts he responded to were Changkyun’s checking in on him. 

His first day back he started crying when he hugged his mom. She had asked if his head hurt a lot, and Jooheon just shook his head, hugging her tighter. 

His mother knew something was wrong, but she didn't know what to ask. She just gave him soup and kissed the top of his head and hoped that whatever was ailing him would stop soon.

It helped. 

It helped to be surrounded by only one voice and one person's feelings. It helped that it was his mother, and they were all something comforting and routine. 

_ Have to go to the market today.  _

_ Ah, this old rice cooker is giving up on me.  _

_ What should I make for dinner?  _

_ He’s smiling more, that's good.  _

Jooheon went out and bought her a new rice cooker. He made himself useful, doing all the chores he could for her even when she tried to get him to rest. 

It feels like shutting off. Like resetting. 

He goes a whole month without a single headache. Without suffocating in a sea of too many emotions. Without stressing about everyone's lives and feeling like he can't help as much as everyone else. 

Without feeling or thinking much at all. 

At the end of the month, his mother sends him off with too many Korean candies and snacks and her recipe for dumplings. A kiss on his forehead. The thoughts  _ I love you so much, so so much _ .

Jooheon doesn't want to go back. Not really. He doesn't want to leave his mom alone again for who knows how long. He doesn't want to go back to feeling anything at all when he knows it'd probably just hurt more than anything. Even if there’s a timer inside him ticking by every second it's been since he last saw Hoseok. 

And the last time he saw Hoseok, he was laying in the back of the van, Changkyun looking through his skin to find broken bones. 

When he lands fourteen hours later, Minhyuk is the one there to pick him up. 

“Hey. Wasn't expecting you,” Jooheon says as he walks up to him to give him a hug. Minhyuk squeezes him tight. 

“I know, but Changkyun sent me. He’s splicing Kihyun’s genes or something,” Minhyuk says. 

“Is that what they're calling it nowadays?” Jooheon asks with a grin. 

Minhyuk snorts and grabs his suitcase. “How's your mom doing?”

“Good. She sent me home with way too much, but good.”

“That's how it always is.”

Jooheon hums as they walk up to the car. They all share one car between them, a blue mini-van that any soccer mom would be proud of. Jooheon loads his bags into the trunk and then settles into the passenger seat.

Minhyuk gets in and starts driving, hands tapping at the steering wheel in time with the music. 

“We missed you, by the way,” Minhyuk says. 

Jooheon grins a bit. “Yeah, I heard.”

“It's not the same when one of us is gone. Feels like a part of us is missing.”

Jooheon stares at the streetlights as they pass. He got in late, so there aren't many people on the road. 

“Yeah. It's been a while. Last time I saw you, you were all icy still,” Jooheon says. 

Minhyuk smacks him in the arm, and it only makes Jooheon grin. 

“I might've been icy, but at least I wasn't hiding in my room for three days before I fucked off across the world.”

Jooheon’s grin slips. He turns to look at Minhyuk, and he's gotten serious, staring intently ahead at the road. 

“Minhyuk.”

“We were worried, Honey. You just up and left and went radio silent with most of us. Hell, even Changkyun couldn't get much out of you. Hyungwon had to convince Hyunwoo not to fly out after your ass.”

The temperature drops slightly in the car, and Minhyuk has to take a deep breath and roll his neck before it goes back up. 

“I just needed to be alone for a while. I was exhausted, Min. That last mission felt like it had literally melted my brain.”

“And I get it. But when you shut down like that, we can't help but worry.”

Jooheon frowns and turns back towards the streetlights. Minhyuk goes back to tapping his thumbs against the steering wheel. 

“You know Hyunwoo is going to call you in, right?” Minhyuk asks. 

Jooheon sighs. “I had hoped not.”

“You’re lucky it's Hyunwoo. Any other team leader would've just sent you straight to psych eval.”

Jooheon stops breathing for a second before he regains his composure. 

“Why are you talking about psych evals? I didn't do anything that out of character or strange.”

Minhyuk doesn't reply for a while. Jooheon eventually starts staring at the road passing by again. 

“You hungry?” Minhyuk asks. 

Jooheon laughs a bit. “Yeah, I guess I am.”

Minhyuk pulls off at the next exit and goes through a McDonald's drive-thru. He buys them each 20 nuggets and large fries and sodas before they start driving again. 

Jooheon munches on a fry. “Did something bad happen or something?” He asks. 

Minhyuk swallows. Anxiety seeps from his pores, and it's just enough for Jooheon to know that he's probably right. 

“When you left, you didn't talk to Hoseok or Hyunwoo, right?” Minhyuk asks. 

Jooheon stares at him. “No?”

“Well, I'm not a mind-reader, but something is up with them.”

Jooheon decides to ignore the slight jab. “Are they fighting?”

Minhyuk frowns. “No.”

“Are they avoiding each other?”

Another pause. “No.”

“Then what's the problem?” 

Minhyuk sighs before he stuffs a handful of fries into his mouth. Jooheon rolls his eyes and turns back to his own food. 

“The problem is,” Minhyuk smacks his lips before he starts again, “The problem is that it's weird.”

Jooheon snorts. “We don't tell you that you and Hyungwon are weird. Why are you analyzing them?”

Minhyuk’s face scrunches up. “Why are you comparing me and my boyfriend to Hyunwoo and Hoseok?”

Jooheon stares at him. “Are...are you serious?”

“Yes?”

“Aren't they...you know...also dating?”

Minhyuk actually glances over at him for a second before looking back at the road. “No? Why would you think that?”

Jooheon frowns. He focuses back on his food and starts eating again. 

“Changkyun told me they were inseparable again. I guess I just figured,” Jooheon explains slowly. 

“I get that, but no. I don't think they are. They would've told us if they were.”

There's a mix of emotions running through Jooheon. For a moment, he's almost heartbroken because he knows that Hoseok isn't with the man he loves. He had imagined Hoseok and Hyunwoo happily together. Happily being the most important part of that. 

But there's also relief. A selfish greedy relief that at least officially, Hoseok isn't taken. 

“I think you need to tell Hoseok, Honey,” Minhyuk says.

Jooheon laughs. 

“I'm serious. I think, no, I  _ know _ this is messier than you all think it is, and you keeping this a secret is making it worse.”

“What do you mean?” Jooheon asks.

Minhyuk groans. “Rule number three.”

Jooheon nods. “I can't even get a day to settle back in, can I?”

Minhyuk goes quiet, but all Jooheon can feel is guilt. 

“You’re right. I shouldn't have just dumped all of this on you as soon as you got back,” Minhyuk says. 

“Look, it's fine, I just. Want a few hours? I know I'm not going to get a day if what you said about Hyunwoo is true. He's going to be knocking on my door at first light.”

Minhyuk laughs. “That's true.”

“I just hope we get a few chiller missions. The past few ones have been so stressful.”

“That is very true.” 

They spend the rest of the trip singing to the radio and talking about Daegu. 

+++

When Jooheon wakes up the next morning, he's surprised that no one woke him up. He gets ready for the day and heads down to get breakfast. 

It's there that he sees Hyunwoo and Hoseok for the first time since the mission. 

They’re sitting together at a table next to the window, plates piled up with what's left of their breakfast. Jooheon looks away as soon as he spots them, going to grab at least some cereal before Hyunwoo probably takes him away for a big huge talk. He sits by himself at a table on the other side of the cafeteria. Other people walk by and greet him happily before going on their way, and Jooheon manages to grin back at all of them. 

He's almost finished eating when someone sits in the chair across from him, and Jooheon doesn't need to look up to know who it is. 

“Hey, Hoseok,” he says before taking another bite. 

“Hey, Honey. I missed you.”

Jooheon looks up, and Hoseok is smiling at him, and he aches again, just the slightest bit, around the edges of his chest. 

“I missed you too.”

“I...I know the last time you saw me things were really volatile, but it's fine now, okay? You don't have to worry about me.”

Resignation. It's a strange emotion to have wash over him. It's not an emotion he deals with often. A stale sadness that's been freshened up with determination and stained with inevitability. 

And that's what Hoseok is giving off in waves so strong, Jooheon can't even feel anything else. He feels resigned, too, though he doesn't know about what. 

“What do you mean? I always worry about you guys,” Jooheon says. 

Hoseok grins and perches his leg up on the chair next to him before putting his elbow on it. He's wearing shorts and Jooheon’s eyes skim over his strong thigh for a second before settling on his eyes again. 

“I know! But I mean. I'm fine, you know. I'll be fine. No matter what happens.” Hoseok says.

Jooheon blinks. “What are you talking about?”

Hoseok licks his lips. “I just...needed you to know.”

Jooheon squints at him. “Alright. How's your leg?”

“Oh! Totally fine now. Sprains go away really quickly if you rest.” Hoseok even pats his ankle for good measure. 

Jooheon smiles. “Good. I'm glad you're all healed up.”

Hyunwoo walks up then. Jooheon figures he was just putting up their dishes. He hovers behind Hoseok, a hand landing on his shoulder. Hoseok looks up at him and smiles like the warmth of the sun is brushing against his face for the first time. 

And then resignation screams out of him again as Hoseok stands up. 

“I'll be heading out then. I think Changkyun needed my help moving some equipment or something,” he says. 

“See you later,” Jooheon says. 

Hoseok grins at him one last time before he walks off. Jooheon’s eyes follow him until he rounds a corner, and they can't anymore. 

“You done eating?” Hyunwoo asks. Jooheon looks up at him. 

“Yeah. Do we need to go?”

“I was thinking we could talk in my room if you don't mind? About...well, everything.”

Jooheon furrows his brows. Hyunwoo’s nervous. He can feel it coming out of him like static electricity, finicky and jumpy.

“I figured I'd get lectured when I came back,” Jooheon says. 

Hyunwoo frowns. “Am I really a big lecturer?”

“Nope. But you try when you have to be,” Jooheon says as he stands up. He picks up his plate and walks over to the dish drop-off before walking back up to Hyunwoo. 

“So, my room is fine? We can do it somewhere else if you want,” Hyunwoo asks. 

Nervous nervous nervous. Almost to the point of anxiety. Jooheon tries to shake it off as he nods. 

“Your room is fine. It's not like you have a roommate to interrupt us or something.”

“Great. Let's go then.”

They take the relatively short walk from the cafeteria to Hyunwoo’s room. It’s familiar and clean and homey and would've been calming if it wasn't for the fact that Hyunwoo kept getting more and more nervous as they walked. 

It's shaped exactly like Hoseok's room is, the big open studio filled up with a bed, a couch, the TV system, and seven beanbags. Jooheon waits to see where Hyunwoo sits. 

If the man plopped himself down on his beanbag, he probably didn't think this was that big of a deal. It would be a slightly more serious check-in. 

If he sat down on the couch, then he was planning on being here for a while, talking things out. 

Hyunwoo sits down on the couch, and Jooheon presses his lips together. He didn't want this to be a huge deal. 

He walks over and sits on the other side of the couch, curling up on the seat, so he can face Hyunwoo. 

Hyunwoo clears his throat and copies him, putting one leg up on the couch to turn towards him. 

“ _ First thing’s first… _ ”

“First thing’s first, I'm glad you're doing better,” Hyunwoo says. 

Jooheon rolls his shoulders back and  _ tries _ to make the veil stronger. Bigger. Something. 

“Thanks. Going home helped a lot,” Jooheon says. 

“Helped,” Hyunwoo repeats, an eyebrow going up. 

“Um, yeah. I was getting really stressed and overwhelmed. Going home helped.”

Hyunwoo nods. “Good. And your mom? She doing okay?”

Jooheon knows that isn't what Hyunwoo wants to talk about. Hyunwoo knows that's not what he wants to talk about. He's staring down at his shorts, pulling at their hem, and Jooheon doesn't know what this is, but it feels like stalling. 

“She's good.”

“Good.”

Hyunwoo still isn't looking at him. 

“Is...is that all?” Jooheon asks. 

Hyunwoo takes a deep breath. “No.”

There's a cloud of anxiety settling thick in the room, and Jooheon starts feeling it too. Starts wondering what could be this bad. And then Minhyuk's words come back to haunt him. 

_ They’re going to try re-assigning you. _

Panic rises up in Jooheon's throat. 

“Am I…am I being reassigned?” Jooheon croaks out.

Hyunwoo’s face flies up to look at him, eyes widening. 

“What? No! Jooheon, no one is getting reassigned. Especially not you,” Hyunwoo says. 

Jooheon sighs and rubs at his eyes. “Then what? What is it?”

Hyunwoo bites his lips and pulls at the hem of his shorts again. “We’re...we’re friends. I'm not just your team leader.”

“Yeah, obviously.”

Hyunwoo takes a deep breath and stares at him. 

“This is from me, your friend, not your team leader,” he says. 

Jooheon nods. “Okay. What's up?”

The anxiety hits again, swells up like the tide, and Hyunwoo readjusts so he’s sitting up straighter. 

“I...I don't talk about my feelings a lot, so bear with me,” he says softly. 

“I know. You try to keep them locked up. I can feel it, you know,” Jooheon responds. 

Hyunwoo laughs a bit, and everything gets light for a moment. And Jooheon smiles because he gets it. 

Hyunwoo is warm like the sun. He's steady when the rest of the world isn't. 

It must've been so easy for Hoseok to fall in love with him.

“Sometimes it's easy to forget how in-tune you are with everything. It feels like you know everything way before everyone else does,” Hyunwoo says. 

Jooheon rolls his eyes, but he relaxes. He leans his head against the couch and watches Hyunwoo relax a bit too. 

“So? What's up?” he asks. 

Hyunwoo takes a deep breath and leans his head against the couch like Jooheon is. 

And then there it is.  _ Something. _

Jooheon tries to ignore it.

“We’ve been friends for a really long time,” Hyunwoo starts. 

“Yeah. Since forever it feels like,” Jooheon says.

“Right. And we’ve been through a lot together.”

Jooheon just listens, tries to let Hyunwoo work through whatever mess he’s feeling and thinking. 

“And you...you mean the world to me, Jooheon.”

Jooheon grins. “I know.”

Hyunwoo nods and swallows. 

_ Something  _ is a mess. It's all kinds of indiscernible feelings and memories mashed into one looming thing. Jooheon can almost feel it like humidity on his skin. 

And then Jooheon recognizes it. Knows it for what it is. 

And his heart sinks down into his stomach. 

_ This can't be happening.  _

“And that's probably why I never...said anything. I didn't want what we have to change,” Hyunwoo says softly, and he's not looking at Jooheon anymore. He's staring down because Hyunwoo gets shy, and Jooheon had always found that endearing, but everything is crashing down right now. 

He remembers the way Minhyuk was shocked to find out it was Hoseok he had feelings for. How he kept urging him to tell Hoseok. How Hoseok had pushed him away after Hyunwoo told him he had feelings for someone else. 

For someone else. 

Jooheon hadn't even given the someone else a thought. 

“But I can't just keep...pushing this down anymore. I realized that after me and Hoseok talked.”

Jooheon shuts his eyes. 

The resignation Hoseok had around him. The way he was trying to tell Jooheon that he'd be okay. 

It was for this. 

Jooheon opens his eyes again and sees Hyunwoo looking at him. Everything feels fond, and Jooheon wants to tear his own hair out for not recognizing it earlier. 

“I…I have...feelings for you, Jooheon. Have had them for a long time,” Hyunwoo says. His voice is softer than Jooheon has ever heard it. 

_ Something.  _ It was always a mess and indescribable because that's exactly what love is. Especially this love. 

And Jooheon had been too stuck in his own head, too busy shutting everything down, to recognize it. 

“Hyunwoo,” Jooheon says. 

“And you don't have to say anything. I'm not trying to pressure you or anything like that. I just wanted you to know,” Hyunwoo says quickly. 

Jooheon doesn't know what to say. He doesn't know what he could say. 

Minhyuk had thought Jooheon had feelings for Hyunwoo, too. And, obviously, so had Hoseok.

Hyunwoo shifts, clearing his throat a bit. 

“So yeah. That's what I had to say,” he says. 

There isn't anxiety in the room anymore. It's serene and calm except for Jooheon.

Jooheon is a mess. All he can think about is how Hoseok was crying after Hyunwoo rejected him, and how he doesn't think he could do that to Hyunwoo. 

And then every moment crashes down on him. All the times Hyunwoo held him close to let him sleep. All the times he went out of his way to make sure he was okay. All the times he let him into his mind, his most private place, just to help him calm down. 

And Jooheon knows that he had feelings for him too. Feelings that he had ignored because he was so focused on Hoseok. On his feelings for Hoseok. 

Feelings that swallowed him whole. 

_ Fuck. _

“Jooheon? You okay?” Hyunwoo asks, and he's not moving any closer. He just tries to make eye contact with him, and Jooheon avoids it. 

“I just...I wasn't expecting that,” Jooheon says. 

“Oh. I'm sorry,” Hyunwoo says. Jooheon hates it. Hates that he's apologizing for his feelings. 

He wishes he had listened to Minhyuk and had just told Hoseok. 

Not that he thinks that would’ve fixed anything. 

“Stop. Don't apologize. You shouldn't have to apologize,” Jooheon says, and his brain is turning to goop again, but it has nothing to do with his powers. 

“I just don't know what to do with myself now, you know? It's…”

“Scary,” Jooheon finishes for him. 

Hyunwoo smiles, and it's shy, and everything is cracking apart.

“No matter what, we’re still friends. Best friends, right?” Hyunwoo says. 

Jooheon just nods. Makes himself smile. “Yeah. Always. No matter what.”

Hyunwoo smiles. “Good. And if we go on a mission, I'm not going to act like you laying on me means anything. We can act like we always have.”

“Can...can I go? I just--”

“Yeah! Sorry,” Hyunwoo says as he scrambles up. 

Jooheon moves slower. He uncurls, then pushes himself up, and he waits to see if his legs will just give out under him. They don't. He and Hyunwoo walk to his door, and he’s never felt more awkward in his entire life. 

“I'll see you later?” Hyunwoo asks as he opens the door. 

“Probably,” Jooheon responds. 

“Good. Bye, Honey,” Hyunwoo says. And then he hesitates for a second before patting his shoulder and smiling. 

Jooheon grins at him. Or at least he tries to. He presses his lips tight together to make his dimples pop out before he turns around and walks down the hall. When he hears the door close, he runs. 

+++

“This is...a lot,” Changkyun says. 

“Thanks, I'm aware,” Jooheon says. 

They’re laying on their living room floor, staring up at the ceiling fan that Changkyun keeps blinking in and out of existence. 

“Okay, let's break this down to something easier,” Changkyun says.

“Go ahead.”

“Do you have feelings for Hyunwoo?”

Jooheon sighs. “Changkyun.”

“No, I'm serious. Forget about Hoseok for a second. Do you have feelings for Hyunwoo?”

Jooheon frowns up at the ceiling fan. “Maybe.”

“Maybe?”

“Okay, look. I love him. I love all of you.”

“That's not what I'm asking. I know you love me, but you don't want to make out with me,” Changkyun says. 

“Why is it always making out with you?”

“I'm just saying there's a difference. Kihyun has always loved me, but he hasn't always loved me the way he does now. Husband-love, not brother-love.”

Jooheon turns to him, grinning. “Oh, it's husband love?”

Changkyun disappears entirely. “You know what I mean, stop changing the subject!”

Jooheon chuckles and looks back up at the ceiling fan. In the corner of his eye, he can see Changkyun become visible again. 

“You know we live on the top-floor for a reason,” Jooheon says. 

Changkyun hums, and then the entire roof disappears to show the blue skies and clouds above them. 

“Better?” Changkyun asks.

“Better.”

“Okay, now answer the question.”

Jooheon groans and shuts his eyes. 

“Me and Hyunwoo have always had a different kind of relationship, I think. Hoseok was the one who reached out to me first, but Hyunwoo has been my training partner since I first came here.”

“Right.”

“Like the headmaster just put us together. Like no matter what happened, we’d always be a unit together, and it's been true.”

“I mean, even when he was a kid, Hyunwoo has been pretty chill. He's always been good at helping you get out of everyone’s head.”

“Everytime I had to try something new it was with him. I've been inside his head so many times, and he always just...let me. No complaints about privacy or anything. He just...trusted me.”

Changkyun hums. “No wonder he's in love with you.”

Jooheon elbows Changkyun, and Changkyun whines in response. 

“I'm serious! You've been in his brain, and you didn't judge him at all. I've never once heard you complain about him thinking too loud or something like you do with Minhyuk.”

Jooheon frowns. the clouds are largely stagnant over them, moving slowly across the sky. 

“That doesn't change how I feel about Hoseok, though,” he says.

“I know. But Hyunwoo likes you, and it sounds like maybe you like him too.”

“Let's not forget that technically, Hyunwoo has this same situation going on with Hoseok. He likes him, too, but you know. I exist apparently.”

Changkyun snorts. “You sure do exist.”

“I just feel so dumb. Looking back, it was kinda grossly obvious that Hyunwoo liked me. At least it should've been to me. I could literally feel it, and I just ignored it.”

“Well, to be fair, you were really convinced he and Hoseok would end up together. When we get caught up on a version of the truth, it's hard for us to consider other alternatives.”

“Thanks for the psychology lesson, I'm still fucked.”

Changkyun snorts again, and their ceiling appears again. 

“Maybe the three of you should all sit down and try to sort it out.”

“Yeah, that's a great way for us to never talk again.”

Changkyun shoves at him. “You're all in this mess because you guys never talked about your feelings. And now Hoseok and Hyunwoo have. You're left, Jooheon.”

“Changkyun--”

“What are you going to do otherwise? Pretend Hyunwoo never said anything?”

Jooheon shuts his eyes, and internally screams. 

When he opens his eyes again, Changkyun is a few feet away, sitting up and staring at him. 

“What the fuck was that?” Changkyun asks. 

“Oh. Sorry.”

“Next time you want to scream, just do it out loud. That'd probably be better than whatever you just did.” Changkyun pinches at the bridge of his nose, frowning, and Jooheon pouts at him. 

“Sorry. Does it hurt?”

“No, it was just really disorienting and loud. I'm fine.” Changkyun shifts back over and lays his head on Jooheon’s shoulder. “Scream all you want, but you still need to talk to them.”

“And then what?”

“I don't know. You guys will figure it out during the talk hopefully. I'd recommend having Minhyuk put the three of you into a nice ice cone until you guys are done.”

Jooheon scoffs, but he starts laughing despite himself. “Shut up.”

“I'm so serious. Use rule number three.”

“Who’s getting us out of the ice cone?”

“Obviously Minhyuk.”

“So he’ll just be there the entire time we talk? How would that help?”

“He can wait outside! He's done it before.”

Jooheon turns to him. “He has?”

Changkyun turns invisible again, and Jooheon grabs onto him, not letting him get away even as he squirms. 

“Im Changkyun! When has he done that?”

Changkyun is still wriggling and whining, and Jooheon is used to wrestling someone he can't see because of these exact situations. 

“It doesn't matter!”

“Why are you so embarrassed?”

Changkyun stops moving, and he huffs, and then he becomes visible again, full pout on his face. 

“It's how I confessed to Kihyun,” he grumbles. 

Jooheon smiles. “That's cute.”

“Yeah yeah yeah, let me go,” Changkyun says softly. Jooheon does, and Changkyun slumps against him with no intention of actually moving. 

“You know, I thought Kihyun was the one that asked you out,” Jooheon says. 

“Yeah, well. He wasn't.”

“Wait, did Minhyuk know about you and Kihyun before you told me?” Jooheon asks, suddenly offended. 

Changkyun doesn't respond. 

“Im Changkyun! I'm your best friend!”

“Listen, I told everyone at the same time! We didn't tell Minhyuk anything! Now, if he figured it out by himself, there's nothing we can do about it,” Changkyun says. 

They stare at each other for a second before they both start laughing. Laugh so hard even though it shouldn't be that funny. 

“Just imagining Kihyun willingly surrounding himself in ice for you is just,” Jooheon says after he's calmed down a bit. 

“That's how I knew he was totally into me, actually,” Changkyun responds smugly. 

Jooheon rolls his eyes, but he's happy to take the distraction of Changkyun's happiness. It flows from easily out of him, and Jooheon doesn't mind being surrounded by that emotion.

“Everything will work out, Jooheon. I’m sure of it,” Changkyun says. 

Jooheon hums. And Changkyun is so sure, he can almost feel sure himself. He doesn't try to shake it off. He lets himself be sure for at least a little while in Changkyun's presence, even if he feels slightly terrified about everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

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	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And then they’re surrounded by ice, huddled together in a circle in the middle of it. Everything Jooheon had been planning to say wipes right out of his mind.

“I need to talk to you,” Jooheon says softly.

Hyunwoo blinks up at him from across the cafeteria table. He and Hoseok had been having breakfast, and Jooheon feels a bit bad, but he needs to do this soon. He can't have this going on while they're on missions. 

“Okay. Where do you want to--”

“Both of you,” Jooheon sputters out quickly, realizing he didn't specify that. 

Hoseok scrunches his eyebrows at him.

“I don't want to interrupt,” he says. 

Jooheon swallows. “It needs to be both of you.”

He must've looked panicked because Hyunwoo is quick to soothe him. 

“Sure, Honey. It'll be both of us,” Hyunwoo says, shooting a glance over at Hoseok. 

Hoseok nods.

“Yeah. Okay. Where?”

Jooheon takes a deep breath.

“Rule number three,” he says. 

Confusion is to be expected, Jooheon guesses. 

“So Minhyuk is coming too?” Hyunwoo asks. 

“Well, he's coming, but he's not going to be there for the talk.”

“Okay. Sure,” Hoseok says, and Jooheon knows it's mainly from a place of concern. He’s still trying to will himself to stop panicking as they walk out to where Minhyuk is waiting for them on the edge of the forest. 

Their greeting is short lived as they hurry through the trees to their spot. Jooheon keeps going over everything in his head, hoping everything will come out right. 

The last thing he wants is to make it worse. Make it bad enough to affect the team. He wouldn't be able to stop blaming himself if the team got split up because of him. 

They climb on to their boulder, and Jooheon throws a thumbs-up at Minhyuk. Minhyuk nods. 

“Scream if you need me to take it down, but I'm making it thin enough that Hoseok could break through it if need be, okay?” Minhyuk says. 

“Okay,” they reply.

And then they’re surrounded by ice, huddled together in a circle in the middle of it. Everything Jooheon had been planning to say wipes right out of his mind. 

“Okay, what is this about?” Hyunwoo said. 

Jooheon clears his throat to give himself time.

“Hoseok, you like Hyunwoo.”

“Oh, Honey, you don't have to worry about me,” Hoseok says, and there's the resignation again that Jooheon is already sick of. 

“Stop, just listen to me, okay?” Jooheon says. 

“We’re listening,” Hyunwoo says. 

“And I get why you didn't want to be around me after you confessed. I didn't then, but I get it now,” Jooheon says. 

Confusion again. Crawling on his skin and making his hairs stand on end. 

“What do you mean?” Hoseok asks. 

“Hyunwoo, I'm sorry I was so oblivious. I honestly had no idea you had feelings for me because...because I thought you had feelings for Hoseok.”

“Oh,” Hyunwoo says, glancing over at Hoseok and looking away just as quickly. 

“But I just...this sucks because we’re all in the same situation,” Jooheon says.

“Wait. What situation?” Hoseok asks.

Jooheon takes a deep breath and looks up at him. 

It hurts to see him so lost. 

“Hoseok, I've had feelings for you since we were kids,” Jooheon says softly. 

And then Jooheon is drowning again. 

Realization and confusion and hurt and anger and confusion and a hollowness and a fondness so strong it aches. 

Jooheon doesn't even know who it belongs to. Which feelings are coming from whom.  

It's incredibly loud inside of him and incredibly quiet around him. It's disorienting. He presses his palm to an ice wall just to ground himself in something. 

“Oh...oh my God,” Hoseok whispers out. He looks over to Hyunwoo who is staring at Jooheon, and Jooheon closes the hand to a fist. 

“I was so focused on that I never could have noticed Hyunwoo’s feelings for me. And I just resigned myself to you two being together because I knew Hoseok loved you so much,” Jooheon says. 

Hyunwoo is still just staring at him. He’s blank. Entirely blank, and Jooheon wishes he knew what was going through his mind. 

“Jooheon, I talked about Hyunwoo so much, why didn't you stop me?” Hoseok says softly. 

“Would it have changed anything?” Jooheon asks back. 

Hoseok leans back and covers his face with his hands. 

“Don't ask me something like that, Jooheon. That's not fair,” Hoseok says. 

“We can't change anything now,” Hyunwoo whispers out, and he’s so quiet the ice doesn't even echo it back to them. 

Jooheon scrambles to reach for them, a hand on each of their thighs. 

“Look, I don't know where we go from here, and I'm sorry I ruined everything, but I can't have this hanging over my head anymore.”

“Oh my God...the bomb mission,” Hoseok says, reaching up to cover his lips. 

Jooheon starts shaking his head as Hyunwoo turns to him, and all he can feel is how upset he is. So upset it almost tastes like copper on Jooheon’s tongue. 

“It doesn't matter! That doesn't matter! I just--”

“Jooheon, you could barely look at me that day, and I was wondering why. Now you're telling me it's because you thought...me and Hoseok were getting together. Oh fuck,” Hyunwoo said burying his face in his hands. 

Jooheon doesn't know what to do anymore. He has no control. Maybe never had control. He’s drowning again.

“I...I’m sorry. I shouldn't have--” Jooheon starts. 

But then Hyunwoo’s phone is ringing and everything stops. 

“Oh, fuck,” Hyunwoo says as he pulls it out and checks it. 

“Please don’t say it,” Hoseok says. 

“We have a mission,” Hyunwoo says. 

Hoseok groans, but he stands up. He puts his hands on the backs of their heads and gently pushes them down. “Close your eyes in case it shatters,” Hoseok says. 

Jooheon covers his eyes with his hands and hears the ice shatter around him. 

“Already?” Minhyuk asks. 

“Report to the locker room. We have a mission to go on,” Hyunwoo says. 

Jooheon looks around at the melting pieces of ice before he follows after everyone, practically running back to the school. 

He feels like he’s ruined it. Ruined it all. 

+++

“Okay guys there's a bank robbery in progress, and there’s a hostage situation on-going,” Hyunwoo says. 

Jooheon shuts his eyes. 

_ This can’t be happening today. Not right now.  _

“Apparently there’s a vent that one of us could drop down into. Only one,” Hyunwoo said. 

“Who is it going to be?” Minhyuk asks.

“I was thinking Hyungwon. Go down into the vent and stay there. Don't get out. Just get the weapons away from them, so they aren't a danger anymore, and then the police can come in after Hoseok breaks down the barricaded door,” Hyunwoo says. 

“Always gun duty,” Hyungwon grumbles. 

“You aren't claustrophobic, right? If you are, I can do it,” Changkyun says. 

“Do what? What can you do once you’re in there?” Kihyun asks. 

“We all have combat training remember? And I can sneak up on them,” Changkyun says. 

Hyunwoo sighs, and the attention snaps back to him. He's blank again, hollow, and Jooheon hates it. 

“If Hyungwon goes, there doesn't need to be any contact. Less danger that way. And Jooheon?”

Jooheon looks at him. “Yeah?”

Hyunwoo’s eyes only stay on him for a second before he looks back down. 

“You willing to communicate back and forth again? It worked well last time, yeah?”

“Got it,” Jooheon says softly. 

He's terrified of lifting the veil. Under the ice, he had it on, and he was still drowning. 

He glances over at Minhyuk and Hyungwon as Hyunwoo starts giving everyone else instructions. How Minhyuk has brought Hyungwon’s hand up to his lips and how he’s pressing his lips against his knuckles. 

Jooheon swallows. 

This is bigger than him. 

He takes a deep breath and peels the veil away, feels himself sink into the thoughts around him.

“Hyungwon, I'm going to focus in on you from here on out, okay?” Jooheon says. 

_ “Got it!”  _ Hyungwon thinks back. 

Jooheon smiles as he tries to zero in on him. Just him. 

“Well, we’re almost here. Everyone ready?” Hyunwoo says. 

Kihyun and Minhyuk do their handshake. Changkyun kisses Kihyun's cheek. Jooheon turns away as Minhyuk launches himself at Hyungwon and tries to ignore the giggling thoughts that Hyungwon has as Minhyuk kisses at him. 

It's normal. It's still normal. 

Jooheon shoves himself out of the van, and he’s met by cameras flashing at him. He rolls his eyes as he turns to wait for everyone else to get out. 

_ “Try sending me thoughts back, Honey?”  _

_ “Can you hear this?” _

Hyungwon gives him a thumbs-up. When Changkyun walks out and the cameras start flashing as him, his entire body disappears, causing people around them to gasp. 

“God, I hate it when there’s reporters flashing as us,” his voice says next to Jooheon.

“You act like we don't have suits with those inlaid things that make our faces disappear in photos,” Jooheon replies. 

“I know, but still,” Changkyun says. 

Kihyun walks up to Jooheon’s other side and sighs. 

“I hate it when my boyfriend just ups and disappears,” Kihyun says. 

“You should be used to it by now,” Changkyun says back. 

“We’re on a mission, is this the time?” Jooheon asks. 

There's another disembodied sigh that makes Jooheon grin. 

“You’re right. Let me go turn Haunt invisible while he goes up there,” Changkyun says, and then his body comes back as he walks away. Kihyun follows after him. 

_ “Still there, Haunt?” _

_ “Still here, Honey.” _

Jooheon walks over to where Hyunwoo has the blueprints for the bank laid out. 

“I'll give you the directions, just relay them,” Hyunwoo says. 

“Got it.”

“Tell me when he gets to the entrance of the vent.”

_ “Are you there yet?” _

_ “It’s weird not being able to see yourself. Would not recommend.” _

_ “I.M. just wants you to be extra safe.” _

_ “I know, I know. Okay, I found it. Crawling in now.” _

“He’s crawling in,” Jooheon says. 

“He has to take the second left, and then he should get to a grate he can see down into the room with,” Hyunwoo says, his finger following along the path on the paper. 

_ “Haunt, go straight and take the second left. There should be a grate down there you can use to see down into the room.” _

_ “Okay. I'm going now. How’s everyone else doing?” _

Jooheon glances around. Changkyun is behind a police car looking through the windows of the bank in case he needs to turn Hyungwon invisible again. Minhyuk is chewing on his nails as he watches the bank, worry ebbing off him. Kihyun is next to him, talking his ear off because he knows Minhyuk feels better when he has a distraction. Hoseok is talking to the police, getting their plan down for going inside.

_ “Exactly how you'd expect everyone to be doing,”  _ Jooheon answers. 

_ “Is Minhyuk biting his nails? Ugh, I hate it when he does that.” _

Jooheon stifles a laugh, and Hyunwoo glances at him for a second before looking back down at his plans. 

“You still feeling okay? No headaches?” Hyunwoo asks softly.

Jooheon shakes his head. “I’m okay. You okay?”

Hyunwoo just hums, eyes still focused on the blueprints in front of him. 

Jooheon bites his lip and goes back to Hyungwon. 

_ “Haunt, how we doing?” _

_ “I see the grate, I think. Yep! There are three idiots with guns that I can see. I don't see any detonators or anything for a bomb.” _

“He’s there. There’s three perpetrators he can see.”

“Four,” Hyunwoo says. 

“Excuse me?”

“There were four of them.”

Jooheon feels his gut tighten. And he can feel Hyunwoo start to worry next to him. 

_ “There’s supposed to be four of them,”  _ Jooheon relays back to Hyungwon. 

_ “Well, I see three. What's the plan then?” _

“Shownu?” Jooheon asks.

“Tell him to stand down until we can find the fourth one.”

_ “Wait til you see the fourth guy.” _

_ “Okay. What if I don't?” _

“What if he never sees the fourth guy?” Jooheon asks. 

Hyunwoo’s jaw sets as he looks up at the bank again. 

“We can’t risk provoking them. There’s too many hostages,” he says. 

Jooheon bites his lip and looks back up at the bank. 

“There’s a way to find out,” he says. 

“What? Honey, what are you...oh no. That takes you out of commission. We need you to talk to Hyungwon,” Hyunwoo says. 

“I feel fine,” Jooheon says, already walking toward the bank. 

“Honey, I said no.”

“Shownu, the longer Haunt is up there, the more he’s in danger, just let me,” Jooheon says. 

Hyunwoo sighs and seems to mull it over. 

“Rime,” Hyunwoo calls.

Minhyuk perks up. “Yeah?”

“Help Honey.” 

Jooheon smiles and runs forward to the closest barricade to the bank, Minhyuk coming up next to him. 

“What are you doing?” Minhyuk asks. 

“Just let me concentrate.”

_ “Haunt, I'm going radio silence for a little bit. Keep your comm on, just in case.” _

_ “Got it.” _

Jooheon takes a deep breath and looks for the closest person with a gun in the bank. 

Another breath. And then Jooheon pierces into that one’s mind. 

Jooheon can’t see. Everything is just a flash of images and memories that aren't his. He can feel Minhyuk grip into his arm, can feel his breath against his ear, but he can’t hear him.

Information rushes through him, and this is where the headache starts. He balls his hands up into fists. 

“Honey!” 

And it’s Hyunwoo’s voice. 

It’s always Hyunwoo’s voice. 

Jooheon gasps, and he’s back. He can see. He blinks up expecting Minhyk, but Hyunwoo is there, gripping into his arm, and Minhyuk is back where the blueprints are. 

“I got you, Honey. I got you,” Hyunwoo says softly. 

“The fourth guy is in the safe. He has a gun too. I don't think it'll be easy to get him out of there since he is busy filling up the bags,” Jooheon says.  

“Okay. I’ll go tell him,” Hyunwoo says, but Jooheon grips into his shirt to keep him in place. 

“I’ll do it,” he says. 

“What?”

_ “Haunt?” _

_ “You’re back. What you got for me?” _

_ “Fourth guy in the safe. Give me a second.” _

“What’s the plan, Shownu?”

Hyunwoo sighs and looks around for a second as he thinks. His hand is still wrapped around Jooheon’s arm, grip gentle.

“Tell Haunt that I'll signal him through the comm, and when I do to proceed as planned, okay?” Hyunwoo says. 

“Got it,” Jooheon says. He closes one eye as he strains to relay everything back to Hyungwon. 

“He’s got it,” Jooheon says. 

“Good. I.M., here, I need to go,” Hyunwoo says, and then Changkyun is the one holding him up, and Hyunwoo’s off, talking to Minhyuk and Hoseok and Kihyun. 

“You okay?” Changkyun asks.

“It'll be okay. We’re going to be okay,” Jooheon says softly as he leans on Changkyun's shoulder. 

His head is pounding now, but that was to be expected. He closes his eyes to make everything less bright. 

“These damn reporters. I’m making us invisible,” Changkyun grumbles. 

Jooheon hums in response, but he can feel himself fading out. 

Everything turns to static, and maybe it's comforting to know that Hyunwoo was still there when he needed him even after. 

When Jooheon wakes up, they’re in the van. He’s leaning against someone warm, and when he opens his eyes he's surprised to see Hyunwoo sleeping too, head pressed against the van’s window. 

“You’re awake.”

Jooheon turns to find Hoseok leaning over the back of the seat in front of them. He’s smiling a bit, and Jooheon feels himself melt. 

“Yeah. What happened?” He asks softly, not wanting to wake Hyunwoo. 

“We saved the day like we always do,” Hoseok responds. 

Jooheon rubs his eyes as he sits up and looks around. Kihyun and Changkyun are watching something on their phone behind them, and Hyungwon and Minhyuk are cuddled up together in the corner.

“It worked?” Jooheon asks.

“Yep. We all rushed in, Minhyuk closed off the vault with ice, Hyungwon got the guns, and then me and Hyunwoo got the last guy in the vault,” Hoseok says. 

Jooheon smiles. “Good.”

Hoseok smiles a bit before he looks away. It’s awkward, but Jooheon had expected that. 

He settles back in his seat, pulling at his clothes. 

“We still need to talk,” Hoseok says, and Jooheon looks up at him, waiting. 

Hoseok licks his lips and sighs. 

“I need some time first,” he finishes. 

Jooheon nods.

“No ice next time, though.”

Jooheon grins and nods again. “No ice next time.”

Hoseok nods again. “Good. You can go back to sleep if you want.”

Jooheon looks back over at Hyunwoo. He’s still sleeping, and he doesn't look troubled at all. Jooheon figured that was a good sign. 

“Hey,” Hoseok says softly, and his hand goes out to brush against Jooheon’s. And he's done it a million times before but it feels so soft this time that it takes Jooheon off-guard. 

“No matter what, it’ll be okay. We freaked out at first, but it'll be okay,” Hoseok says. 

Relief is an emotion that rolls over him all at once. Like sinking down to the bottom of the pool and looking up at the sky. Like pushing yourself back up and taking that first breath again. It’s welcome and wonderful, and Jooheon smiles through it.

“Okay,” he manages after a bit. 

And Hoseok’s smile makes it so. 

+++

Annual reviews came up faster than they wanted. A late week in August before classes for the younger ones start again. 

Jooheon always hated them. They would come and leave as a team, but they weren't tested as a team. They would just watch each other walk in one-by-one to be tested by one of their old teachers before being sent into another room to wait.

It’s just Changkyun and Jooheon left in the waiting room, staring up at the screen that would announce who was next. 

“This blows. I graduated, and I'm still getting graded,” Changkyun grumbles. 

“Imagine how Hyunwoo feels,” Jooheon says. 

Changkyun lets out a short little laugh, and then there's a beep. The screen changes to flash up Jooheon’s name. 

“See you on the other side,” Jooheon says. 

“Good luck. Read some minds,” Changkyun says. 

Jooheon sighs as he walks into the room. It’s white like a hospital. Dr. Jung, the only other mind reader at the school, was sitting at a white table, tapping her pen against her papers. 

“Jooheon! Nice to see you again,” she says. 

Jooheon smiles. Easy. He sits down across from her. 

“Nice to see you, too.”

“I hear you’ve been working on communicating telepathically?”

Jooheon clears his throat. “I have. I've done it twice on a mission now.”

_ “Still getting those headaches?”  _ her voice says from somewhere inside his head. It's different from listening in. It's internal. It blooms up from inside of him like it was always there. 

_ “Yes,”  _ he answers. 

_ “I see here there's one instance of you blacking out after a mission?” _

_ “That was after I sifted through someone’s mind for information. I hadn't really practiced that in a while, but it was necessary.” _

_ “You exhausting yourself shouldn't cause the symptoms I'm reading about.” _

_ “I was too exhausted to filter things out. That got overwhelming.” _

“Ah. That makes much more sense,” she says, writing something down. 

“Any other questions?”

She smiles a bit at her papers. 

“You still close yourself off when you’re not in mission?”

“I try to. I still get general emotions from people and occasional screaming thoughts.”

“Okay. If that works for you, it works for you. Is it not tiring to try to keep everything out?”

“It's more exhausting to listen.”

Another little note on a paper. A shift in his seat. 

“You like your team...Honey? Still Honey, huh?” she asks. 

Jooheon smiles. “It’ll always be Honey.”

“What was it you said when you were younger? It's because of all the buzzing?”

Jooheon grins. “Exactly.”

“So, your team?”

“We work great together. We protect each other. We’re a family.”

Dr. Jung smiles a bit as she writes. She doesn't look up. Jooheon figures she doesn't need to. 

“I'm glad you found people that are on your side out there,” she says. She closes the file and leans back. “Now, tell me the color of my new bedsheets.”

Jooheon coughs. “Excuse me?”

“I give you permission. Go through my head.”

Jooheon sighs and leans forward on the table. He stares at her before he plunges in. 

It feels like something is blooming in his head again, and he knows she's there, observing, and Jooheon feels his stomach clench up as he sifts through her day to the morning. 

He has to drag himself back little by little before he’s back. He blinks a few times. 

“They’re yellow,” he answers. He ignores the dull little this over his right temple. 

“Very good. Do you always go blind and deaf like that when you go in?” she asks. 

“Yes. I don't practice it much.”

“Practice more. It’ll help with that too,” she says, pointing to her own right temple. 

Jooheon shifts in his seat. “I don’t like doing it. Sometimes I can…”

“Get lost? You need someone to pull you back?”

“I mean, I have someone to pull me back, but he usually is the one I practice these type of things with.”

“Find someone else to let you sift through their mind then. Someone you trust and that trusts you. Other than that, you’re good to leave.”

Jooheon blinks. “That's it?”

“Yep. I know you're fine,” she says with a grin and a wave. 

Jooheon gets up and walks out the door she’s vaguely pointing to. 

There doesn't close behind him before Minhyuk is hugging him. 

“Hey! You made it. You okay? No headaches?” He asks. 

Jooheon hugs him back, the dull thudding already ebbing away. “I’m fine. It wasn't that crazy this year.”

“That's good,” Minhyuk says, grabbing at Jooheon’s cheeks to squeeze them before he heads back to where he was sitting.

“Now we just have Changkyun left,” Hyunwoo says. He’s sitting next to the door, Hoseok at his other side. There’s a spot open next to Hoseok, and Hoseok pulls him down into it. 

“Changkyun always has the fastest review,” Kihyun says. He’s standing, hovering in front of them near the door. 

“Then why do you look so nervous?” Hyungwon says from where he is laying his head down in Minhyuk's lap. He looks exhausted, his eyes half-closed, and his body almost limp. 

“What'd they do to you?” Jooheon asks. 

“Torture me,” Hyungwon replies. 

“Don't say that. I'll make Kihyun burn this place to the ground, and then what’ll we do? We’ll be jobless and homeless,” Minhyuk says. 

“Who said I'd burn anything down for you?” Kihyun asks. 

“Kihyun. Please. Try harder with your quips,” Minhyuk says. 

“You're not answering the question,” Kihyun says, not even bothering to turn around. 

Minhyuk sighs dramatically, and everyone is so amused that it bubbles up the back of Jooheon’s head like champagne.

“Because, you flaming bastard, you love me enough to burn shit down for me,” Minhyuk says.

Kihyun turns. 

“Flaming bastard? Really? That's the best you could do?” His eyebrow is up, unimpressed. 

“It's a term of endearment,” Minhyuk says miserably. 

Kihyun grins and turns back towards the door. 

“Love you, too,” he says. 

A beat of silence.

“So you would burn it down--”

“Yes, Minhyuk.”

“Good, that's all I wanted.”

“You two are honestly ridiculous,” Hoseok says, giggling. 

_ “YOU’RE RIDICULOUS!” _

Jooheon cringes. “Minhyuk, please. For me. Stop screaming in your head,” he says. 

“Oops. Sorry, Honey,” Minhyuk whispers. 

“Your speaking voice wasn't the issues,” Hyunwoo says. 

“You know what, Hyunwoo,” Minhyuk says. Hyunwoo looks over at him and raises a brow. Minhyuk pouts and looks down to play with Hyungwon’s bangs. “Nevermind,” he finishes.

Hyunwoo turns back to the door. Hoseok leans back a bit, and then the next moment he leans his head against Hyunwoo’s shoulder, eyes looking up at him as if to get permission. Hyunwoo doesn't move, so Hoseok settles himself closer, lips turning up.

Jooheon looks away like he always has when they’re like that. It's habit. He looks away from the thing he’s always expecting, avoiding the little ache in his chest that he’s tried to learn to live with. Hoseok’s warm hand sneaks onto Jooheon’s knee and squeezes. 

That made his chest ache in a completely different way. 

Eyes wide, he’s turning toward Hoseok, but then the door is opening. 

“We’re done!” Changkyun yells as he runs right into Kihyun.

Hyunwoo stands up, Hoseok gets up after him, and the moment has a period put on it. 

“Thank God, I hate these,” Hyunwoo says as he starts walking toward the exit. They all follow after him like little ducklings, walking out together. A team. 

Hyunwoo hesitates outside, looking around.

“Where are the people with our results?” he asks. 

“God, they get slower every year,” Minhyuk says.

“Keep your grumbling down, Mr. Lee.”

They all screech as they jump back. Dr. Martin is a teleporter, and he is always bemused by the reactions when he just pops up. 

“I don't grumble. I complain,” Minhyuk says. 

“Right. Here’s the write-up for your review,” Dr. Martin says as he holds a folder out to Hyunwoo. As soon as Hyunwoo takes it, he blinks away, leaving all of them alone. 

“I feel like making ramen. Anyone want some?” Kihyun asks. 

“Me!” Hoseok calls.

“I’ll eat,” Jooheon says. Hyungwon and Minhyuk walk over to add themselves to the group, and they all start walking away, away toward Kihyun’s room. 

But Jooheon feels something missing. Something steady and always there. 

He turns back to look, and they’ve left Hyunwoo back at the exit, staring at the folder. 

“Hyunwoo,” Jooheon calls. 

But Hyunwoo doesn't look up. He's still just staring at the folder, eyes wide. 

Jooheon stops. 

“Hyunwoo?”

He hears the footsteps behind him stop. 

“Come on, you can read that over some ramen,” Changkyun says. 

When Hyunwoo looks up, he isn’t blank. There's a strange sort of lost look in his eyes. 

And then Jooheon  _ feels  _ it. The way that something is wrong. 

He walks back toward him.

“What is it? Come on, it can’t be that bad,” he says, but he can feel that it's bad.

Hyunwoo closes the folder and holds it at his side, and he frowns. 

Jooheon thinks about reassignment. About the dissolution of their team. About their family being broken apart.

“They’re...they...Minhyuk,” Hyunwoo says softly. 

Stunned. 

“What?” Minhyuk says, grabbing the folder from Hyunwoo to look at it himself. His eyes widen as he shakes his head. 

And Jooheon doesn't mean to know. And Minhyuk doesn't mean to scream in his head.

_ Lee Minhyuk, aka Rime.  _

_ Temporary Probation.  _

“They...they can’t be serious,” Hyungwon says softly as he looks over Minhyuk's shoulder. 

“What the hell? You’re an integral part of our team. How are we supposed to do missions without you?” Changkyun says. 

Minhyuk looks pale as he holds the folder back out toward Hyunwoo. The frown on Hyunwoo’s face deepens as he takes it back. 

“I can't even train with you guys,” Minhyuk says softly. 

Jooheon shakes his head. He feels sick. His team. His people. His family. 

Even if the probation is supposed temporary.

“They don't have an explanation?” Kihyun asks, grabbing the folder from Hyunwoo.

Minhyuk just shakes his head, and everything about him is sad. It's not even waves of sadness. It just is. A cloud around him that’s spreading to everyone else. 

Kihyun stares down at the folder disdainfully before it catches fire in his hands. 

They all watch it turn to ash. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!  
> Hit me up:  
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	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And there’s anger pulsing through him now. Jooheon looks down and can see the tips of his fingers turning blue where they grip into the cushion of the chair.

“Usually we have probation meetings in private,” the Headmaster says as he eyes all seven of them. 

Minhyuk tries his best to give him a polite smile, but it comes out crooked. 

“Anything you’re going to tell me, I'd tell them. This just saves time,” Minhyuk says. 

All seven of them are in the Headmaster’s office, Minhyuk sitting in front of his desk, Hyungwon in the one chair next to him, and the rest of them lined up behind them. 

The Headmaster hums. 

“Well, probation tends to make teams volatile,” he says.

“We’ll be fine,” Hyunwoo assures him.

The Headmaster doesn't look impressed, but he sighs and opens up the folder anyway. 

“While we’re calling it a temporary probation, it could be considered a medical leave,” he says. 

Jooheon steadies himself on the back of Hyungwon's chair at the sudden onslaught of distress. 

“Medical leave? My physical was fine,” Minhyuk says. 

Nodding, the Headmaster does his best to look empathetic. He actually gets closer than Minhyuk got with his smile. He’s a burly man with bright blue eyes, so when he decides to look kind, it works. Jooheon taps against the chair.  _ Or maybe that’s his power. Calming situations down. _

No one knew much about him. Not even a name. He just went by the Headmaster, and that was it. 

“Physicals don’t test anything with your powers, though,” he says. 

Minhyuk fidgets. “So how long will this probation last?”

The Headmaster frowns as he leans back in his chair. “We can’t put a definite time on it.”

“Okay, but what’s wrong?” Hyungwon asks. 

The Headmaster sighs. “You all took biology, I'm assuming?”

“Yes,” they all say. 

“Right, well most humans don't have much innate defense against the cold. When winter comes we fashion ourselves big coats to mimic the other mammals that can survive a harsh winter.”

Minhyuk rolls his eyes and leans back in his chair. Kihyun nudges at his shoulder with his knuckle a bit to try to get him to be slightly more respectful. 

“However, there are creatures that freeze themselves to survive winter. Alaskan wood frogs, for example. They freeze so thoroughly that they stop breathing. Their hearts stop beating. They seem essentially dead.”

Jooheon feels anxiety start to drip from Hyungwon's pores, so he reaches out to squeeze his shoulder. 

“Well, Mr. Lee here is a bit like those frogs, I guess. However, we don’t know how much of a risk to himself that is,” the Headmaster finishes. 

“What do you mean?” Minhyuk says. 

“We’re afraid that in a high-stress situation, you could lose control and freeze your own heart and lungs,” the Headmaster finishes. 

Tense. The whole room stops as they process that information. Jooheon glances over at Minhyuk, remembering the way his throat has turned blue along with his hands and lips that day in the arctic. 

Kihyun is the first one to break the silence.

“Okay, but under enough pressure I catch fire, and I was never put on probation for that,” Kihyun says. 

The Headmaster nods. 

“I understand the comparison because you both would have been trained the same way since your powers  _ seem _ similar on the outside. So similar that we grouped you together with all the other people that have pyrokinesis and cryokinesis. And, Mr. Yoo, you do still fall under that category, but Mr. Lee no longer does. He’s in his own category.”

Kihyun shakes his head. “I’m sorry, I don't understand.”

The Headmaster takes a deep breath. He isn't frustrated. It’s more like he was waiting for all these questions.

“Mr. Yoo, you do become engulfed in flames. You can control them, make it manifest all over your body. But you never  _ become  _ fire. Your skin protects you from any and all burns.”

Kihyun frowns but nods. 

The Headmaster taps his fingers on the desk. 

“Mr. Lee doesn't manifest ice on him and is immune to it like we previously thought. He quite literally can become living ice. He must have strong regeneration abilities as well to keep him from actually getting frostbite.”

“You’re putting him on probation because you’re afraid he’ll just...freeze through one day and never wake up?” Hyungwon asks softly. 

The Headmaster tilts his head back and forth like he's considering the statement. 

“More or less. We’ve never dealt with a situation like this before, so we need to--”

“Put me through testing?” Minhyuk asks. And there’s anger pulsing through him now. Jooheon looks down and can see the tips of his fingers turning blue where they grip into the cushion of the chair. 

The Headmaster winces. “I know it isn't ideal, but it's for your own health and safety. It isn't a punishment for you or your team. In fact, we want you to get off probation as soon as possible.”

“What will you be testing exactly?” Hyunwoo asks. 

The Headmaster looks up at him. “That is ultimately up to Dr. Anders, but he mentioned going through high-stress training situations to see how his body reacts. He’s trying to find a way to check if his organs will even freeze, or if they can recover from freezing without actually putting him in danger, but that's currently up in the air.”

“So...I'm on probation until he figures that out? How long could that take? Years?” Minhyuk asks. 

The Headmaster twines his fingers together on the desk. “Hopefully not. It is possible he could give you an all-clear without it.”

Minhyuk takes a deep breath and looks up at the ceiling. Blinks slow. 

“Is that all, then?” he asks softly. 

“For now. Your probation extends to missions and training. You are not off the team, and we won’t be replacing you, but for now you have different things to focus on,” the Headmaster says. 

Minhyuk shuts his eyes and nods before he gets up and leaves, pushing through the rest of them. He leaves a wake of that sadness from earlier behind him. 

“Thank you for your time,” Hyunwoo manages to croak out before the rest of them are hurrying after Minhyuk. 

Minhyuk doesn't stop walking until he makes it to his room, but he doesn't close the door behind him, expecting everyone to file in to his and Hyungwon's room. 

Everyone moves out of the way, so Hyungwon can get to Minhyuk first. He jogs forward and wraps his arms around Minhyuk, kissing at the top of his head. 

And then Jooheon feels the sob before he hears it. Feels it bubble up in his throat like it's his own and not Minhyuk’s.

“Okay, I'm going to make hot chocolate,” Kihyun says, heading toward their kitchen. 

“Hoseok, can you?” Hyungwon asks. Hoseok nods and gets to work moving their bed from where it was pressed against the wall to the center of the room. Then he moves the chairs and the blankets until he’s made a quite incredible blanket fort that connects their bed and couch and other furniture. 

It had been a long time since they made a blanket fort. Since back when Hyunwoo still called himself Jet, and he got told he'd be tested with other teams. 

“Okay, all done,” Hoseok says, holding the flap to the side. Minhyuk pulls away, sniffling as he crawls in. Hyungwon rubs his eyes before he holds his hand out and the box of tissues flies into his hand. He crawls in right after him. 

Jooheon takes a deep breath and tries to steel himself. Blanket forts mean a lot of feelings, and Jooheon wasn't about to complain about them. 

“Changkyun, can you help me?” Kihyun calls. 

Changkyun goes to the kitchen, and Jooheon goes to help him too. Kihyun is holding three mugs, and he nods at the other four on the counter. Jooheon and Changkyun take two each and carefully make their way over to where Hoseok is still holding the flap open. Handing out hot chocolate to every one is simple. It's something to focus on that isn't the worst thing. 

In a few moments, they’re all sitting on Minhyuk and Hyungwon’s bed in a circle, sipping on their hot chocolate. 

“So. This sucks,” Minhyuk says softly. And then he laughs a bit. Because that's what he does. Tries to laugh through problems. 

“Okay, yes. But it's not your fault,” Hyunwoo says. 

Minhyuk sucks in a breath and looks over at Hyunwoo. “Did you put me in an incident report?”

“Of course not. You going icy was never an incident. Why would I write it down?” Hyunwoo says. 

Minhyuk sighs and nods. “I didn't think so either.”

“What did they ask you to do in the review?” Hoseok asks 

“Nothing weird. Made ice.”

“Wait. Did you...do that thing where you blow on your fingers?” Kihyun asks. 

Minhyuk shuts his eyes. “Yeah.”

“That's probably it, then,” Kihyun says. 

“I know it sucks, but at least it’s not disciplinary,” Hyungwon says softly. 

Minhyuk sighs and rubs his eyes. 

“I know. For my health and safety, I know.”

“It is rule number one,” Jooheon says. Minhyuk looks up at him and sniffs. 

His eyes are still puffy, but he doesn't seem as sad anymore. 

“We won't let you train alone. Those simulations can be rough, and I'm not going to have a member of my team deal with it by themselves,” Hyunwoo says. 

“What if you guys are on a mission?” Minhyuk asks.

Hyunwoo sighs and squeezes his mug. “I’ll make a request, then. No training for you if one of us can't be there. I’m not having one of you do that by yourself,” he says. 

Jooheon sees a flash of a memory. Of sobbing gasps and shaking and voices. It disappears, and Jooheon looks over to see Hyunwoo taking a deep breath to push it down. 

_ What was that? _

“I wish I was a doctor already,” Changkyun says idly. 

Minhyuk laughs a bit, and it feels like sunshine coming into their little space. 

“Why is that relevant, Changkyun?” he asks. 

“Then I could run your tests and make sure everything is fine without those guys.”

“Do you not trust them?” Hoseok asks. 

“I mean, I do. But I could just look at your organs without bothering you at all,” Changkyun says. 

Kihyun sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose.

“That is so weird,” Kihyun says. 

“What? It's true! Although if Minhyuk had organ damage because of freezing, he wouldn't be all fine and dandy now,” Changkyun says. 

“It’s still weird,” Kihyun says. 

Changkyun’s face changes as he looks at Kihyun. A strange little smile on his face. 

“It’s not like I look inside of you. I just occasionally get inside of you,” he says.

“Oh, hell no, I do not want to know about your sex life,” Jooheon says, throwing a glare over at Changkyun. 

Kihyun is turning bright red, and the area near him is getting warm. 

“Okay, nope, we are not catching Minhyuk’s room on fire,” Hyunwoo says. And then the glimmery shimmer of his shield settles around Kihyun who pouts at him.

“I can control myself! I’m not going to catch fire,” Kihyun says. 

“I could feel the heatwave from over here,” Hoseok says. He’s sitting directly across from him, which is to say not very far away at all. 

Kihyun narrows his eyes at him. “Oh, shut up. I'm sorry some of us have powers that manifest when we get--”

“Aroused?” Changkyun inputs. 

A snowball hits him directly in the face immediately after. 

Everyone turns to Minhyuk who is smiling at his handiwork. 

“It’s not a cold shower, but I had to work with the circumstances,” Minhyuk says. 

Changkyun doesn't have a chance to wipe his face before Kihyun leans over and kisses his cheek, effectively melting it all away. 

“I can't believe you threw a snowball at my boyfriend,” Kihyun says, but he’s grinning. 

“I would've thrown it at you, but you have a shield on you,” Minhyuk says. 

“Hyunwoo!” Changkyun whines.

And soon everyone is laughing, and Jooheon is relieved along with everyone else. 

Temporary Probation or not, they were still the same. Still together. Still a family. They spent the rest of the day under the blanket fort laughing. 

They fell asleep there, Hyungwon and Minhyuk cuddled next to each other sideways across the top of the bed, and Changkyun slept on top of Kihyun on the couch.  

Jooheon and Hyunwoo and Hoseok slept next to each other across the bottom half of the bed, Jooheon curling himself up as small as he could so the larger men would have room. 

He was on the brink of sleep when he felt an arm flop down across his side. When Jooheon looked, he was surprised to see Hoseok there, sleeping soundly, and Hyunwoo moving to be next to him at the end of the bed. 

When their eyes met, Jooheon knew there was a question in them when he heard Hyunwoo’s voice call out to him. 

_ “I didn't want him to fall,”  _ is all it says. 

Jooheon rubs his eyes and nods before settling back down to sleep again. 

+++

“I really don't need all of you to be here,” Minhyuk says as he gets ready to go into the training room. 

Hyunwoo had insisted they all be there. Had told them all to drop whatever they were doing for it. He had been so serious none of them even questioned why. 

“We want to be here,” Hyungwon says, smiling a bit. 

Minhyuk rolls his eyes. “Sure. Are you sure Changkyun isn't here to look at my guts?” 

“I'd only look at your guts with explicit consent, just so you know,” Changkyun says. Kihyun groans something about calling it guts and quickly gets a snowball thrown at his face. 

“Well, you guys can head into the observation room, then,” Minhyuk says, pointing at one of the doors. 

“Good luck,” Hyungwon says. He walks over and kisses Minhyuk before he leaves. All of them wish him luck, Kihyun and him even doing their handshake, before he gets called in. 

The observation room is just that. A room with a long bench and a wide window to look into the training room.

The training room is a much more complicated place. It's walls are curved like a ball’s and blank. There are a lot of lines running across the walls where the pieces of wall can move and shift to accommodate whatever training was going to happen. 

Jooheon had never been in this particular room. He had never trained by himself, and this room was meant for solo training only. Minhyuk walks into the room and looks around. 

Dr. Anders’s voice comes in through the speakers. 

“Good afternoon, Minhyuk.”

Minhyuk looks towards the blacked out windows of the observation deck and smiles even though he can't see them. 

“Hey,” Minhyuk says to the room. 

“You’re aware of what will happen in the training today?” 

“I was briefed, yes.”

“Put on the helmet that's to your left then, please.”

Hyunwoo grabs Jooheon’s shoulder, and Jooheon turns to him. His face is serious again, almost blank.

“Jooheon, whatever you do, do not focus in on Minhyuk. Do you understand?” He says softly. 

Jooheon furrows his brows and looks around. No one else is noticing their conversation, staring as Minhyuk puts the thin wired helmet on. He looks back at Hyunwoo. 

“I wasn't focusing on him,” he responds. 

“I know, but I need you to not even accidentally pick up anything from him.”

“Hyunwoo, what’s wrong?” Jooheon asks softly. 

“Just. Promise me, okay?”

Jooheon hesitates for a second before nodding, agreeing. Hyunwoo seems to let go of a breath he was holding. 

“If you need to focus in on something, you can focus on me,” he says. 

“Alright.”

“The training will begin in three...two...one.”

Nothing in the room changes, but a cover for Minhyuk’s eyes drop down in front of him, and Minhyuk looks around like he’s looking at a brand new environment. 

One of the reasons why Jooheon likes being around Changkyun so much is because he’s always analyzing. Analyzation is like gentle rain on a rooftop to Jooheon. He can’t hear the individual drops, but the process is soothing. 

At least when it's simple. 

But when he thinks quicker, it feels like a thunderstorm. 

And a thunderstorm cracked as soon as Minhyuk took a few steps. 

“What kind of training are they about to do to him, Hyunwoo?” Changkyun asks, voice a bit frantic. 

Hyunwoo stares straight ahead. 

“Extreme stress simulation,” he says softly. 

“What?!” Changkyun yells. 

The first domino to fall is Hyungwon. He’s buzzing anxiety as he walks closer. 

“Hyunwoo, what is that?” he asks.

“Did Minhyuk say yes to that?” Changkyun asks. 

“Unfortunately, he did. Anything to get back on the team quicker,” Hyunwoo says. 

“Did you tell him not to?” Changkyun asks. 

“Wait, what is going on? What are you talking about?” Kihyun asks. 

“Of course I told him not to. I don't want any of you guys doing that, but just because I'm team leader doesn't mean I can veto his own decisions,” Hyunwoo says. 

“Hyunwoo, what are they going to do to him?” Hyungwon asks. 

Hyunwoo goes stony except for his eyes. His eyes look sad. 

“They’re going to show him a virtual reality simulation of a failed mission. A catastrophic failure,” Hyunwoo said. 

Jooheon feels his chest go cold. A catastrophic mission. 

Loss of life.

“You need to pull him out of there,” Hoseok says.

“Do you really think I would be letting him do this right now if I could pull him out of there?” Hyunwoo asks. 

Everyone goes quiet, turning toward the window with grave expressions.

“He knows it's not real,” Hyungwon says softly.

“Those helmets make it real. As real as when we hear Jooheon’s voice in our heads when we communicate back and forth mentally,” Changkyun says. 

“I wanna see what he's seeing,” Hyungwon says.

Right now, Minhyuk is walking around, looking around at the virtual world they made up for him. 

“You don’t,” Hyunwoo says softly. 

“Is there a way to see it?” Kihyun asks. 

Hyunwoo’s warning suddenly resounds in Jooheon’s head. He balls up his fists. 

“I can look,” Jooheon says. 

“You are not going to look,” Hyunwoo says. 

“That’d be breaking rule six,” Changkyun says. 

Jooheon groans as Minhyuk starts making ice walls pop up in the room and talking. They can’t hear him anymore, and Jooheon realizes that the speakers in their room are off now. 

“So we’re just supposed to watch him torture himself?” Jooheon asks turning toward Hyunwoo. Everything is boiling on the bottom of his skull, and he knows it's not just him, but he lets it simmer there. 

“If it was up to me, none of us would be here because this wouldn't be happening right now,” Hyunwoo says. 

“Well you told us to all be here for this,” Jooheon says. 

Hyunwoo looks at him. 

And Jooheon regrets the outburst before he even speaks.

“I did because when I was put through this I had no one here waiting for me after. You know how hard it is to convince yourself everything is okay when all you have is some teachers and doctors telling you it was all fake when it was as real as anything you’ve ever experienced? When it took hours before I could see any of you at dinner again?”

The memory came to Jooheon’s mind again. Now it had context. 

“I can’t watch this,” Hoseok says. He’s leaning against the window, eyes shut and whatever he’s feeling is making Jooheon feel nauseated. 

“You don't have to watch. You can go back in the locker room if you want,” Hyunwoo says. 

Changkyun is the first to leave after that, heading back into the locker room. Kihyun takes a deep breath and one last glance through the window before following after him. 

Hyungwon rubs at his face, but he stays put. 

“I can't leave,” he whispers out. 

“I understand. I can't either,” Hyunwoo says. 

Hoseok leaves after that. 

“You should go, Honey,” Hyungwon says. 

Jooheon hesitates, not knowing where to go or what to do. But then a scream pierces through his veil and everything goes black.

“Jooheon! Jooheon, come on stay here, focus on me,” Hyunwoo’s voice calls. 

He isn't there. He’s floating over a flaming city, and Minhyuk is screaming so loud it almost shakes the entire world apart.

And he sees Minhyuk holding Hyungwon to him, but it looks wrong, Hyungwon too pale and his body unresponsive, and Minhyuk is screaming and crying as his hands scramble all over him.

Jooheon wants to leave. He wants to get out. 

But Minhyuk’s thoughts had always been so loud. So loud they can drown out Hyunwoo's voice calling for him. 

“Mission abort,” a mechanical voice drones out, and everything goes black again. 

“Honey! Jooheon!”

Jooheon opens his eyes and scrambles up, eyes going past Hyunwoo to look out the window. 

Minhyuk is scrambling to pull the helmet off, orange lights shining down on him to heat him back up. 

“Jooheon, I told you--”

“Not now. Minhyuk,” Jooheon says as he gets up and runs out to the locker room where Hyungwon keeps pulling on the door to the training room, waiting for it to unlock. 

When the door finally gives, Hyungwon runs through, waving his hands to push all the ice that was laying around out of his way until he’s holding Minhyuk. 

“Hyungwon! Oh my God, Hyungwon,” Minhyuk says, clutching at him, gripping into him so hard it looks like it'd bruise. 

“Why’d you do that to yourself?” Hyungwon says, holding him just as hard back. 

“I didn't think it'd be that bad,” Minhyuk says softly. He looks over Hyungwon’s shoulder at them, and Jooheon’s heart sinks when he can hear Minhyuk counting them off in his head to make sure they’re all there. 

“I told you it’d be that bad,” Hyunwoo says as he walks out. 

“Lesson learned?” Minhyuk says with a small smile. 

Hyungwon smacks his chest. 

“You asshole! You’re so dumb. Why the hell would you do that to yourself?” Hyungwon asks. 

But Minhyuk just smiles up at him. 

“Babe, can you be mad at me later? I promise you can scold me all you want in like an hour, but just--”

Hyungwon pulls him to his chest. 

“Just shut up. You’re lucky I love you so much,” Hyungwon grumbles. 

“Come on, you two. I wanna get out of here,” Hoseok says before he picks both of them up easily and starts carrying them back out to the locker room.

Jooheon runs his fingers through his hair as he starts to follow them, but Hyunwoo grabs his shoulder and turns him around. 

“I told you not to focus on him,” he says. 

“I didn’t. He was loud enough to get to me anyway, which honestly we should've expected,” Jooheon says. 

Hyunwoo rubs his face and sighs. “What if you had gotten stuck there, huh? God, you make me worry so much.”

Jooheon swallows. He walks forward and wraps his arms around Hyunwoo, laying his cheek against his shoulder,  and Hyunwoo freezes in place. 

“Look, I'm sorry. I honestly didn't mean for it to happen,” he says. He squeezes him tight because Hyunwoo never seemed to need hugs and comfort, but he needed it then. 

Hyunwoo looks at him, and his face is slightly flushed.

And then Jooheon’s eyes widen as he pulls away. 

“Anyway, yeah. Sorry,” Jooheon says before he runs out of the room. 

_ “Smooth!” _ Changkyun yells at him. 

_ “Hush!”  _ Jooheon yells back. 

“I need to wait to get my results back. I won't be doing this again, don't worry,” Minhyuk says.

“Good,” Kihyun says. 

Hyungwon is still perched on Minhyuk's lap, and Minhyuk is still holding onto him like he’d disappear if he let go. 

“You can go now, though,” Minhyuk says. 

“We’re not leaving you alone after that,” Changkyun says. 

“I love you guys. I do. But I wanna be with Hyungwon,” Minhyuk says. 

“I'm impressed you said that so tastefully,” Kihyun says. 

Minhyuk grins and buries his face in Hyungwon's shoulder. Hyungwon rolls his eyes. 

“I don't fuck idiots I'm mad at,” Hyungwon says. 

“I'm glad you clarified the mad at part because you've been fucking an idiot for quite some time now,” Kihyun says. 

A snowball almost hits Kihyun’s face, but he manages to melt it before it hits. He sticks his tongue out at Minhyuk, and Minhyuk sticks his tongue out back.

“Well, I'm glad to know that we’re all still acting like children,” Hyunwoo says. He looks at Minhyuk. “No more of that?”

Minhyuk nods. “Definitely not. Once is enough,” he says softly. 

Hyunwoo sighs. “Don't try to rush things to get back on the team, okay? We can and will wait for however long it takes.”

Minhyuk nods and hides his face in Hyungwon’s shoulder again. 

“Alright, I think it's almost time for dinner. Anyone coming with?” Hoseok asks. 

“We’re all going with,” Changkyun says, pulling Kihyun out the door. All of them except Minhyuk and Hyungwon start filing out of the room after them. 

“Wait, Jooheon,” Minhyuk calls. Jooheon stops and looks at him.

“What’s up?”

“I’m sorry. I could...feel you in there. I didn't mean to pull you in,” Minhyuk says softly. 

Jooheon sighs and nods. “You didn't mean to. Nothing to apologize for.”

“Did I...look blue in there?” Minhyuk asks. 

Jooheon thinks back and shakes his head. “Not that I noticed.”

Minhyuk nods and sighs. 

“Okay. I'm sorry. Go eat. Have fun,” Minhyuk says. 

“You too,” Jooheon says. 

And right before he closes the door, he can feel Minhyuk’s happy little facade slip, and something terrible open up beneath his feet. Jooheon hurries his steps away from it, slightly afraid to get swallowed up. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all your comments! I'm glad everyone is enjoying this story as much as I am.  
> Hit me up:  
> [cc](https://curiouscat.me/yikeslike)  
> [twt](https://twitter.com/yikeslike)


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jooheon shuts his eyes, his hands coming up to hold his head. His ears start ringing. The pounding changes to hammering. Something tap-tap-tapping on Jooheon’s skull.

Things get held up. They move through the motions for a while, feeling strange, out of rhythm. 

Van rides always feel eerily quiet now to Jooheon. He had always joked and complained about Minhyuk’s loud thoughts before, but now he would give anything to hear him vaguely think about making out with Hyungwon in the back of the van. 

Kihyun always shakes his hand out now, frowning, not having a way to replace his handshake. 

Hyungwon just stares out the window unless he's addressed. 

They still do well on missions, but Jooheon knows all the little complaints everyone isn't voicing because they don't want to be given a replacement even if it's temporary. 

When they get back, Minhyuk is always waiting in the garage for them. He smiles easily, but Jooheon feels sick wondering how long he waited there for them. 

The simulation he went through was bad enough to be on his mind constantly now. Before, Minhyuk never thought about missions going wrong. He always had the utmost confidence in himself and their team. Now, Jooheon can always see him counting in his head as they stumble out of the van after a mission, making sure they're all there and safe. 

The only thing that could be as bad as seeing your team die is watching them get wheeled in instead. 

They all see Minhyuk and smile though. Hug him tight and make jokes and tell him how it went. 

Even when Jooheon is exhausted, he manages it with a grin because they all know that Minhyuk is probably suffering more than all of them combined. 

He doesn't do extreme stress simulations, but testing isn't pretty. At least that's what Jooheon gathers since he never is the one that goes to watch him. He can imagine though. It’s not fun to watch Minhyuk be strapped into a dozen monitoring devices as he tries to get worked up. 

It's two months before they decide that the risk is only there when Minhyuk gets angry, and, when that news comes, Minhyuk gets excited for joining the team again.

Hyunwoo spends his free time in offices arguing with anyone that will listen that Minhyuk shouldn't be on probation anymore.

The all-clear doesn’t come. 

“It’s hard,” Kihyun says one day when they're all out in their spot in the woods. It's fully fall now, all of them bundled tight in jackets and hoodies, the crunch of fallen leaves beneath their shoes. 

“I know,” Minhyuk says back. He downs his half a can of beer like it's nothing at all. 

“Some guy tried to jump through my fire the other day. As if it wasn't high enough. Hyungwon had to yank him back,” Kihyun says. 

Minhyuk laughs. “What an idiot.”

“They never tried that when you were there to back me up,” Kihyun says. 

Jooheon leans back against the log, mildly squished between Hoseok and Hyunwoo’s legs. 

They haven't talked still, not seriously. Not about anything at all. But Hoseok always invites Jooheon to sit with them even if there is just barely enough room for the three of them. 

“I just don't understand what the hold up is, honestly. You freeze up more when you get mad. Any of us could have told them that,” Hyungwon says. 

“Because they can't guarantee I won't get mad in any type of situation. And they still think if I freeze all the way through there's no coming back,” Minhyuk explains.

“But there's no way to test that,” Hoseok says. 

“Isn't that just the funniest little loophole?” Minhyuk says, lopsided grin on his face. 

Changkyun is frowning at the fire, his fingers tapping on his thighs. Jooheon closes his eyes for a moment before looking up. 

Hoseok’s mouth is pulled into a frown, and Jooheon can feel his own mouth pull to mimic him. He nudges Hoseok’s calf with his elbow, and Hoseok blinks down at him.

Nothing makes Jooheon feel better than the way Hoseok smiles at him when their eyes meet for a moment before he looks back up at Minhyuk. Nothing except maybe the way Hyunwoo glances at both of them and then squeezes Jooheon’s shoulder. 

Life is a mess, and Jooheon has no answers, but he’ll take what he can get. 

At least he’s not sitting on a log by himself, only the cooler keeping him company.

“Listen, I'm done talking about this today. I just wanna drink beer and enjoy the weather,” Minhyuk says.

“It's not cold enough for you to do that yet, is it?” Kihyun says.

Minhyuk grins. “I'm sorry we won't be melting under your precious sweltering heat soon.”

“You know, it's not fair that I can't throw a fireball at you, but you can throw snowballs at me all the time,” Kihyun says.

“Please don't burn his eyebrows off, I'd cry,” Hyungwon says, and he clutches around Minhyuk's chest for emphasis. Minhyuk leans back into him and smiles a real smile. 

“Didn't you know? He's only with me for the eyebrows.”

“Shut up, you know that's not true,” Hyungwon says, kissing at Minhyuk’s cheek. 

The heat from the fire warms up Jooheon from his toes upwards. There’s a shimmer across the sky. He smiles to himself. 

Slowly, the feelings of annoyance and anger shift upward. They warm slowly like the fire, turning to the buzz of happiness that Jooheon was used to feeling whenever they came here. 

He remembers when Hyunwoo had called him Honey for the first time. They had been so young, and it had only been a nickname then. Then everyone called him Honey, and it didn't feel right to go by anything else on a mission. 

_ It makes sense because thoughts buzz like bees, and they go toward you like bees go for honey,  _ Changkyun had said. 

He had felt warm just like this. 

That night, they keep the fire burning as they get into their sleeping bags. 

Jooheon watches as Hyungwon helps a very tipsy Minhyuk zip their bags together, holding him still in his lap as he lets his mind do the actual work. 

Changkyun clings to Kihyun’s warmed up hands like the frosty little fall breeze actually bothers him, and Kihyun peppers kisses across his cheeks claiming that those could help keep him warm too. 

Jooheon thinks about going further away from the group, but then something fond and happy and not his soothes its way up his spine. He turns, and Hoseok is holding both of their sleeping bags.

“You don't mind sleeping between me and Hyunwoo, right? Since we’re all already here?” Hoseok asks.

And Jooheon’s entire chest clenches as he presses his lips together and nods. He takes his bag from Hoseok and rolls it out and gets in and tries to hide his smile in it as Hoseok scoots closer to him on one side and Hyunwoo scoots closer on his other side. 

For warmth, they tell themselves. 

“I know things have been crazy, but maybe we can talk soon?” Hoseok asks softly. His voice is the fall breeze except more delicate. 

“That's fine with me,” Jooheon says, and then he turns toward Hyunwoo. 

Hyunwoo nods. “Yeah. Okay,” he says. 

Hoseok sighs and nods as he tries to get comfortable. 

“Goodnight, guys,” he says. 

“Goodnight,” Jooheon answers. 

That night he didn't have to fight off their dreams. Maybe didn't want to either. 

+++

The last time Jooheon had been in Hyunwoo’s room was to hear him confess. 

Nothing at all had changed. 

The bean bags were still there and so was the couch. It was clean but cluttered because needing to be able to entertain at least seven of them necessitated things. 

Jooheon sat on one of the bean bags and hugged his knees as he watched Hyunwoo and Hoseok try to pick a spot, their minds both racing loud enough that Jooheon could swear he could hear their individual synapses firing. 

Maybe he could. 

Eventually, Hoseok just moved two of the bean bags closer to Jooheon and sat down in one of them. Hyunwoo cleared his throat as he sat down next to him. 

“Before we start, can we take a second to calm down? You guys are making me way more nervous than I already am,” Jooheon says. 

“Right. Yeah. Sorry,” Hoseok says. He very visibly takes a deep breath, and Jooheon snorts out a laugh. That makes everyone smile.  _ Something _ wraps around his chest like an embrace, and Jooheon lets it be. It's not the worst thing he's felt. 

“So, I've been doing a lot of thinking,” Hoseok says. 

“Right,” Hyunwoo says. 

Hoseok sighs and runs his fingers through his hair. 

“And I realized that we’ve always been...a thing.”

“A thing,” Jooheon repeats. 

“Not like that! I mean. We’re all really close, but when we were younger the three of us were closest to each other,” Hoseok says. 

“Yeah,” Hyunwoo says. 

Hoseok stares down at the floor and swallows. Jooheon feels his apprehension coat his tongue like molasses. 

“So maybe we all kinda fell in love with each other somewhere along the way, but none of us wanted to ruin anything so we just…ignored it,” Hoseok says softly. 

“I’m pretty sure that's exactly what happened,” Jooheon says. 

When he talked, it felt slow. Tongue sticking to the roof of his mouth, his teeth. Sticky. Stuck. 

“Well. I mean. All of us. You both said something along the lines of ‘I have feelings for you, but I have feelings for this other person, too,’” Hoseok says. 

Hyunwoo and Jooheon glance at each other. That much was true. 

Hoseok clears his throat, and Jooheon rolls his shoulders back to try to keep his tension off of him. 

“And I realized that if Jooheon had confessed earlier, I probably would have said the same thing. So basically we all have feelings for the other two, but we just...focused on our feelings for only one of them,” Hoseok explains slowly, carefully. 

“Okay, yeah. That's where we are right now,” Hyunwoo says. 

It's incredible how someone so strong can seem so small. How Hoseok is holding himself tight and tiny. He's still staring at the ground, and his ears are turning bright red, and Jooheon frowns. 

“Hey, what's wrong--”

“Maybe we should just all be together. The three of us,” Hoseok spills out. He holds himself tighter. Tinier. He grips into the bean bag beneath him, and Jooheon worries for a second that it'll pop. 

And then his words process, and he couldn't care about the bean bag at all. 

“W-what?” Hyunwoo says. 

Hoseok swallows, and Jooheon feels every muscle in his back go stiff one-by-one. 

_ Holy shit, this is the most nervous I've seen him since the bomb. _

“I just. We love each other. Jooheon needs you to calm him down. I need you to be my support. You need us to take care of you when being leader of all this is too much. We’ve been doing it for years,” Hoseok said. 

“We have not been  _ dating  _ for years,” Hyunwoo chuckles out. 

“Jooheon, when I told you I loved Hyunwoo, you told me I should confess because you were sure that he liked me back.”

Jooheon blinks. “Yes.”

“Why?”

Jooheon licks his lips. “You guys always were together. I just figured he felt the same way towards you as you did him.”

Hoseok turns to Hyunwoo.

_ “See?” _

“See?” Hoseok says. He wets his lips before he starts again. “And when you said you had feelings for Jooheon, I was sure that you two would date because obviously you would love the person you trust enough to pull you out of your own head.”

Jooheon just stares. He keeps thinking about Changkyun asking him if it could have ever been Hyunwoo. 

“You're saying...you'd date both of us?” Jooheon asks. 

Hoseok looks at him, and everything surges up in Jooheon’s throat. Hoseok’s bean bag actually pops from him squeezing it too hard. 

“Oh, fuck,” Hyunwoo says, helping Hoseok up from the ground where he’s turning bright pink and thinking about the world swallowing him whole loud enough for Jooheon to hear. 

Hoseok buries his face in his hands and sits on the ground. The pellets from the bean bag are scattered out around him.

“Yes, I'd date both of you. I wouldn't be bringing it up if I didn't want that,” Hoseok says. 

One part of Jooheon is jumping for joy at the thought. Hoseok is saying he’d be with him. He wouldn't be alone. Wouldn't feel like the odd one out. 

The other part is skeptical. They orbit each other but never touch. And there's a scary little thought somewhere wondering if this is just Hoseok giving up a bit of Hyunwoo to have the rest. 

“But you never looked at me the way you looked at Hyunwoo,” Jooheon says softly. 

Hoseok’s hands fell from his face as he looked up at Jooheon. And then it was something sad that bubbled up at the bottom of his skull. The resignation he felt grow, however, was entirely his. 

“Jooheon--”

“I had already resigned myself to you two being together. You don't have to include me,” Jooheon says. 

“But I am including you. For a reason,” Hoseok says. 

Jooheon scoffs and looks away, eyes filling up. 

“It feels like you’re pretending to love me, so you can be with Hyunwoo.”

Seconds. Maybe less. That's all it takes for Hoseok to kneel right in front of him and take his face in his hands, make him turn to him. 

“Break rule six. Break it right now,” Hoseok says. 

Jooheon stares into Hoseok’s eyes. He knows how gently Hoseok is handling him. How with a pinch Hoseok could crush concrete. And yet his hands are gentle and caring on his face even as they hold him in place. 

When the veil comes up, Jooheon is flooded. And in Hoseok’s memories there’s a light around him like there is around Hyunwoo. Like they’re gold-dipped and gold-bathed. 

If Hyunwoo held up the firmament in Hoseok’s mind, Jooheon had painted the stars contained there. 

And there are no words flooding through Hoseok’s mind because showing is enough.  _ Something  _ is there, and  _ something _ is a comfort, and familiarity, and love, and an excitement. 

_ “Jooheon, come back here. Come here, Honey,”  _ Hyunwoo’s voice calls for him. 

Jooheon hesitates, basking in the brightness of all the love Hoseok carries in him. So much it doesn't feel real. It doesn't feel possible. But Hoseok had always been like love personified in a body. 

Hyunwoo’s voice calls again, and he opens his eyes.

Hoseok is looking at him, wide-eyed, as Hyunwoo rubs up and down his back. 

This is when he realizes that there's tears running down his cheeks. 

Jooheon sniffs, reaching up to wipe at his face. 

“Did...did you see?” Hoseok asks. 

Jooheon rubs at his eyes, pouting. 

“You were gone for a while. Take your time,” Hyunwoo says softly. 

Jooheon doesn't know what to say. He can't believe he's crying, but he can. 

Hoseok pulls his at his wrists to get his hands away from his face, and it's gentle again. So soft like he’s holding a quail’s egg in his fingers. 

He leans in and kisses Jooheon’s cheek. 

“You don't have to say yes. But I couldn't have you thinking I didn't love you,” Hoseok says. 

Can it be drowning when it feels like light is filling up his lungs instead of a heaviness? 

“Hoseok,” Hyunwoo says softly. 

“Both of you. Maybe I'm being selfish or greedy, but I've never asked for much,” Hoseok whispers. 

“I don't know, Hoseok. I've never thought about it before,” Hyunwoo says. 

“I know. And you don't need to answer me now, but I thought we could. We could do it,” Hoseok says. 

Desperation. Hoseok’s, Jooheon knows. It feels like thirst and hunger, and it creaks down into the marrow of his bones with how strong it is. Somewhere along the line it mixes with the fluttering elevation of hope in his throat, and everything is so much. 

“Honey? Honey, talk to us,” Hyunwoo says softly. 

Jooheon shudders as he looks at them, not wanting their feelings to overwhelm him. 

“I...I need time and space to think. Your feelings are so strong they feel like mine,” Jooheon manages to say. Because even if this feels like a fever dream, Jooheon knows he can't answer anything when he’s like this. Unveiled. Sensitive. Flooding over. 

“Oh! I'm sorry,” Hoseok says, and then his grip around Jooheon’s wrists are gone as he backs away. Hyunwoo hesitates for a second before he moves away too. 

“I think we all need time,” Hyunwoo says. 

“Sure. Maybe we should have a set time, though. I don't want to go months if it's not necessary,” Hoseok says. 

“Is a week good?” Hyunwoo asks. 

There’s silence, and Jooheon realizes they’re asking him. He rubs his eyes again and looks up at them. 

“A week sounds fine,” he croaks out. 

Hoseok nods. Once. Twice. 

“A week, then. And I...I really do mean it. And if you have any questions, feel free to ask me. In case it helps make a decision,” Hoseok says. 

Jooheon nods and pushes himself up, makes himself walk out of the room with just a wave. 

He makes it back to his room before his hand comes up to touch his cheek where Hoseok had kissed it. 

Jooheon settles down on the bed and cries because he’s happy. Because it's so much. Because he had been loved so fully this entire time, and he just hadn't known. 

+++

“Honey, I hate asking, but I can't. I can't go alone again, I can't,” Hyungwon whispers. 

He looks exhausted as he leans his head against the doorframe of Jooheon and Changkyun’s room. Jooheon touches his face. 

“Hey, it's okay. Don't feel bad, I can go. I don't have anything else to do,” Jooheon says. 

Hyungwon shuts his eyes and sighs. 

“Thank you. It just…”

_ “It takes everything I have to act happy afterwards.” _

Jooheon frowns and takes Hyungwon's hand. “It's okay. We can go. Is he starting soon?”

“Yeah. We should get going.”

Hyungwon peels himself off the wall and straightens himself out, sighing as he starts to walk down the hall with Jooheon. 

“Changkyun is busy with his research, which means Kihyun is busy. Hyunwoo and Hoseok are training. I wouldn't ask if--”

“Wow, I'm so glad I'm the last choice,” Jooheon jokes. 

Hyungwon sighs. “I don't want you having to second-hand deal with everything Minhyuk is dealing with.”

“I know. It’ll be fine. Unless you think it's that bad?” Jooheon asks. 

Hyungwon hesitates as he walks, his lips slanting. 

“I never know with him. He doesn't tell me. I see it affecting him, but he just smiles at me after. But it's not. I don't know. You’ll see, I guess,” Hyungwon said. 

They go down to the same training room as before. Minhyuk is waiting in the locker room.

“Hey! I almost worried you wouldn't come,” Minhyuk said as he stood up to kiss Hyungwon. 

“You know I always do,” Hyungwon says. 

Minhyuk grins up at him. “Yeah, I try to make sure of that.”

“Okay, hi. I'm here, too,” Jooheon says as Hyungwon slaps at Minhyuk’s arm. 

“Thanks for coming, Honey,” Minhyuk says before he hugs him. 

“No problem. What are you doing today?” Jooheon asks.

Apprehension sinks low into his stomach, pressing in from Minhyuk. But Minhyuk’s smile doesn't falter very much. 

“Oh, nothing too crazy. Just monitoring me,” he says. 

Jooheon looks over at the door to the training room, and then back to Minhyuk. 

“If it’s bad…” he starts. 

Minhyuk smiles brighter at him. 

_ “Don’t. Please don't. Act like it's normal and fine. That’s how we deal,”  _ Minhyuk thinks at him. 

Jooheon nods and smiles back. He doesn't like lying. It feels wrong and mechanical. But this feels necessary. It's not like they are hiding the truth. 

They’re just making a new one.

The observation room feels warmer than it did last time. Hyungwon stands right in front of the window, and Jooheon stands next to him. He grabs his hand, and Hyungwon takes his happily, squeezes it tight. 

They can't hear anything in the room. Maybe it's better that way. Minhyuk sheds his shirt at the door when he sees the chair in the middle of the room and goes to sit down. 

Jooheon frowns at the bruises he sees scattered up and down Minhyuk’s back.

“You don't have to look,” Hyungwon says softly. 

The doctor comes into the room from another entrance and greets Minhyuk as he helps to strap him into the chair and into the monitoring devices.

“Hyungwon, what are they doing?” Jooheon asks. 

“They say they do that for his own safety. They’re going to give him a shot to put him under fake stress or whatever,” Hyungwon says. 

“That. That can't be good,” Jooheon says. 

Hyungwon sighs, and it comes out shaky. 

“I hate it so much,” Hyungwon whispers. 

Jooheon sees them administer the shot, and Minhyuk and Hyungwon wince at the same time like they both feel the pain. 

“You've been watching this by yourself?” Jooheon asks as he squeezes Hyungwon's hand again. 

“Yeah. I thought I'd be fine. It's not like I was...going through it,” Hyungwon says. 

A wave knocks Jooheon back for a moment. He turns to look at Minhyuk. 

His eyes are shut tight, and he’s panting. His knuckles are blue as he grips into the armrest of the chair. 

He can see the doctor asking him things, taking notes, and an idea breaks into Jooheon’s mind. 

Rule six only applies to friends. 

That man is no friend of Jooheon's. 

“Hyungwon, I'm going to listen in, okay?” Jooheon says. 

Hyungwon turns to look at him. “No, Jooheon, it's fine. Really.”

“I wouldn't be looking into Minhyuk,” Jooheon says, tilting his chin up at the doctor. 

Hyungwon squeezes his hand. “Do you think you could?”

“I know I can.”

Jooheon steps closer to the window, and he starts to lift the veil. 

And just as he starts to focus in, Minhyuk screams again. Jooheon loses his balance. 

Cold is the first thing Jooheon registers. The next is the hammering of a heart that isn't his in his chest. Like a hummingbird got stuck in his ribcage to rattle around his organs. 

Jooheon knows he messed up, but he doesn't know how to fix it. He’s drowning, and it's so cold it stings. 

He grips into Hyungwon's hand and fights his own body to fight all the things Minhyuk is feeling. 

And he’s sinking. Drowning in the coldest sea he’s ever been in. 

_ Sink or swim. Might as well swim.  _

He pushes forward, and the hummingbird in his chest is going faster. Blind. He wants to be blind. He doesn't want to see or hear whatever is going through Minhyuk’s mind. What he’s feeling is enough. 

He's pulled under over and over again, and he keeps pushing and pushing against everything.

And then for a moment, he isn’t drowning anymore. 

He’s the sea. 

And then he wills it to calm. 

“Minhyuk,” Hyungwon whispers out.

Jooheon blinks and looks up, and the blue across Minhyuk’s chest is receding fast, turning back to the light tan of his skin. He’s not panting anymore. He just blinks up at the doctor, and then after a moment, blinks over to the window, eyes blindly searching over it. 

The hand that Jooheon had been squeezing slips out of his grip. 

“What did you do?” Hyungwon asks. 

The doctor keeps checking and tapping at the monitors like they can't be right. 

There isn't any anger in Hyungwon, and that’s a relief. 

“I don’t know. I don't know what I did. I just. I got caught, and I needed it to be calm to get out,” Jooheon whispers. 

Hyungwon huffs and looks back out the window. 

“His results,” Hyungwon groans. 

“I'll tell them it was me. I’ll tell them I fucked up the results,” Jooheon says. 

Minhyuk gets unstrapped, and he moves slow as he gets up and picks up his shirt again. 

Hyungwon hops a bit as he hurries out of the room toward the locker room. Jooheon waits for a second before he walks after him.

He’s calm. Himself. The veil yanked down firm. 

He had never been the sea before. 

“Jooheon, what did you do?” Minhyuk whispers out.

“I don't know. I didn't break rule six, if that's what you're worried about,” Jooheon says. 

“Jooheon, fuck the rules,  _ what did you do?  _ You nullified a  _ drug  _ in my system,” Minhyuk says, grabbing at his arms. 

Jooheon takes him in. The small smile curving his lips upward, the excitement in his eyes. 

“I just. I needed it to be calm to get out. I didn't mean to get caught up in the first place, but things happen,” Jooheon says. 

“You...you controlled his mind?” Hyungwon asks. 

Jooheon’s eyes widen as he starts shaking his head. “No. No way. I didn't want you to do anything--”

“You made my brain do something, and it listened. Honey, it's okay, don't look so scared,” Minhyuk says. 

Everything catches up to Jooheon’s body at once. The still of the sea snaps back to thrashing. He groans as he doubles over, his head pounding. 

“Oh, fuck, Honey,” Hyungwon says, and Minhyuk is trying to hold him up. 

“Go get Hyunwoo,” Minhyuk says. 

“But--”

“I’m fine, babe, I promise. Just go get Hyunwoo. Please.”

Jooheon shuts his eyes, his hands coming up to hold his head. His ears start ringing. The pounding changes to hammering. Something tap-tap-tapping on Jooheon’s skull. 

He sinks down to his knees, and Minhyuk goes with him, hugging him close. 

“It’s alright. It's okay. I got you, we’ll get you help, Honey. We’ll get you help, it’s okay,” Minhyuk says. 

Jooheon sees spots as the headache spreads across the side of his head. He knows he’s whining, gripping at Minhyuk’s shirt. 

“You’re okay. You didn't break any rules or anything, okay? Don't worry about it,” Minhyuk says. He’s babbling now, holding Jooheon close. 

Soon the world fades, and Jooheon’s thoughts are about oceans and seas and calm. 

Finally calm. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!  
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	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He isn’t the sea.   
> He’s stronger than that.   
> He’s light, and he yanks the darkness out of the sea.

Waking up is a process. It's like warming up limbs after being out in the cold too long, except it’s everything. There’s a moment when Jooheon realizes he’s conscious again before the rest of his body does. 

When he realizes all the things he’s seeing on the back of his eyelids aren’t dreams, the strange sterility of wherever he is sets in. 

There’s nothing to feel other than what he feels himself. No loud feelings or thoughts. 

There’s a steady electric hum and a soft beeping, and he remembers the abandoned second infirmary that Changkyun took him to once. It felt like ages ago, but it wasn't really. 

Maybe Changkyun had to get food or something, and he had stepped out just as he was regaining consciousness. 

Jooheon takes a deep breath and opens his eyes. The fluorescent lights stare down at him, and then he fully wakes up. There’s an IV in his arm, and he feels the bands of an EEG on his head. 

A door opens. 

“Was all this really necessary, Changkyun?” Jooheon asks, reaching a hand up to rub at his face. 

“Mr. Im isn't here, Jooheon.”

Jooheon freezes. He lets his head fall to the side to look. 

Dr. Jung is standing there, hugging a clipboard to her chest. She takes a deep breath before she lets the door close behind her and walks in. 

“Dr. Jung. I didnt...I thought Changkyun had just--”

“I know what you thought. Mr. Im will probably be a very talented doctor some day, but he isn't one yet,” she says. She walks over to glance over his monitors. Jooheon shuts his eyes. 

_ Shit.  _

“I’d have to agree with you there, kid,” she says. “I’m taking the IV out.”

Jooheon keeps his eyes closed and turns his head away as she goes through the process. Tape off, IV out, disinfect, bandage. 

Jooheon opens and closes his hand before he slowly sits up, peeking over at Dr. Jung. 

“How long was I out?”

Dr. Jung sighs as she grabs a chair and rolls it over it to Jooheon’s side. She sits down and looks at him. 

“Four days.”

Jooheon nods slowly. 

“I feel fine. Am I free to go?” 

It was a hopeful question. Almost a joke, honestly. She manages to smile. 

“Sure, after we talk for a second.”

Jooheon groans and scratches at his head. “Can I take this thing off at least?”

The doctor nods as she reaches over to unplug the monitor. Jooheon pulls off the bands. 

“You don't have to tell me what happened. Your friends already did. I just want to know what you want to do about this,” she says. 

Dr. Jung has always been nice. Kind. She watched out for Jooheon. Always had. Jooheon swallows.

“What do you suggest?”

Dr. Jung clicked her tongue and put the clipboard down on the bed. “If you ask me, all you did was develop a new power. We never really had a protocol for that other than a note in your file and modified training.”

Jooheon nods. “And if I asked someone else?”

She sighs and crosses her arms. “Well, because of me, you won't be asking anyone else, yeah?”

Jooheon grins. “Of course not.”

“But you can’t keep incidents like this a secret anymore. Changkyun told me that you were unconscious for two days after a mission and didn't report it?”

Jooheon looks down and clears his throat. “I didn't want to be put on probation.”

“Right. What if you had been called for a mission while you were out? There’d be no talking yourself out of a report then.”

_ Shit. _

“Yeah. Shit. I don't even know how to train you for this. Mind control? I've never seen that.”

“I didn't mean to do it. I don't even know if that's what I did.”

“Do you know how you did it?”

Jooheon shakes his head. 

Dr. Jung nods. 

“Well. You don't have to train it if you don't want to. But if you decide to, you need more than one person there to monitor you, and I'd like to be notified beforehand in case anything happens,” she says. 

Jooheon blinks. “That’s it.”

Dr. Jung smiles. “It took a lot of arguing and pulling rank, but yes. That’s really it.” 

Jooheon sighs and lays back down.

“How’s Minhyuk?” he asks. 

“Oh, he’s just fine. Everyone on your team is fine. Just worried about you. Especially since I didn't want them in here.”

“Why not?”

“You’re kidding right? When you're asleep, you can't really control your whole situation and having six stressed out guys in here would just not be good. You got one calm doctor instead.”

Jooheon sighs and rubs his face. “Thanks, Dr. Jung.”

“You know, you’re like a grown up now. You can call me by my first name.”

Jooheon laughs as he looks back over at her. 

“I can, but I won't. Am I really free to go?”

Dr. Jung sighs as she stands up and grabs the clipboard again, checking a few things off. 

“Promise you’ll follow my instructions about the training and stuff?” 

“Of course.”

“Then, yes. Now go find Changkyun, so he can stop banging on my door every two hours,” Dr. Jung says. 

Jooheon beams as he sits up and rolls out of bed, quickly making his way toward the door.

“Oh, and Jooheon?” 

He stops, hand on the door handle. 

“Yeah?”

“I don't know what it’s about, but Hyunwoo kept thinking about a week? It's been a week? Going to be a week? I don't know. Seemed important though since he didn't actually say it out loud.”

Jooheon’s eyes widen, but he doesn't turn.

“Okay. Thanks. See you.”

He makes it down the hall before he crashes into Kihyun and Changkyun. 

“Oh my God! We were just coming to see you!” Changkyun says as he throws his arms around Jooheon's neck.

Jooheon hugs him back. 

“I'm okay. We’re good,” Jooheon says. He squeezes Changkyun tighter. “We’re good.”

“We were all really worried about you, Honey. God, Hyunwoo and Hoseok were practically losing their minds,” Kihyun says. 

_ Right. Hyunwoo and Hoseok.  _

“How’s Minhyuk? And Hyungwon?”

“Well, we’ve all kinda been put on ice for this,” Kihyun says. 

“Was that pun on purpose?” Changkyun asked, turning to look at Kihyun, but not letting go of Jooheon. 

Kihyun rolls his eyes. “Definitely not. But no training. No missions. For a while,” Kihyun says. 

Jooheon shuts his eyes and pulls away from Changkyun. “Shit. That's the last thing I wanted to happen.”

“Hey, stop. How were we supposed to go on missions missing two team members? We barely adapted to Minhyuk being gone, and you wanted us to go without you, too?” Changkyun asks. 

“Besides. Mind control? Super cool,” Kihyun says.

Changkyun rolls his eyes and shoves at Kihyun’s chest lightly. “Stop that. We don't even know if that's true, and Dr. Jung is on the fence about it.”

“How do you know that when she wouldn't tell us anything?” Kihyun asks. 

Jooheon glances between them. Changkyun bites his lip and turns invisible. Kihyun's eyes widen as he launches forward, arms grabbing. 

“Oh, no, do not disappear on me right now!” Kihyun says. 

“Look, I just snuck in and looked at her files sometimes!” Changkyun’s voice says. He comes back into being in Kihyun’s arms, and he’s smiling.

Jooheon smiles, too. 

“That's nice, guys, but I should go.”

He had a deadline. A week. And he didn't feel groggy or gross or in pain. He didn't have anyone else’s feelings pouring into his very being. And every second that passed was building up inside of him, pulling at him.

“But, Honey, you just woke up,” Changkyun says. 

_ “I need to go.” _

Changkyun closes his mouth and looks at him. 

_ “Okay. Okay. Go. I love you.” _

_ “Love you, too.” _

Jooheon leans in and kisses Changkyun's cheek before he jogs past them, leaving the couple hugging in the hall. 

He doesn't really know where to go, but he hopes his feet will take him where he needs to be. He swings by the training rooms and the gym to find them empty, and then he heads over to the cafeteria. 

_ “JOOHEON!” _

Jooheon stops, turning to see Minhyuk run right at him. 

The seconds still tick by, but they can wait. 

“Hey,” Jooheon manages to get out before his face is firmly squished against Minhyuk’s chest. 

“I was so worried when you passed out, I had no idea what to do,” Minhyuk says. 

“It's okay. I'm okay, I promise.”

Something isn't sitting right with him, though as he squeezes Minhyuk. 

“I didn't mean to...do any of those things to you. It was wrong of me,” Jooheon says. 

“Stop. You didn't mean to. Besides you just made me stop hurting, so I can't really be mad.”

Jooheon sighs and pulls away to smile at him. 

“Where’s Hyungwon?”

Minhyuk squints at him for a second before he clears his throat. “He’s taking a nap. Hoseok and Hyunwoo are in Hyunwoo’s room though.”

Jooheon freezes as Minhyuk winks at him and pats his shoulder. 

“Minhyuk--”

“Good luck with that, by the way. Whatever it is. Dr. Jung sent them to their rooms since they kept pacing outside the door to the infirmary. She said they worried too loudly.”

He could imagine it so clearly, it almost made him laugh. 

“Right. Then I'll just…” Jooheon says, floundering for words. 

“Go. We’ll talk to you later,” Minhyuk says. 

Beaming, Jooheon gives him one last hug before turning around to make his way up to Hyunwoo’s room. 

Seconds feel heavier. They carry more weight to them as he stares at Hyunwoo’s door. 

Suddenly, he feels like this is a mistake. What if he had jumped the gun? What if he was here for one reason, and Hyunwoo had decided on something else? What if they had decided without him?

Seconds are drops of lead hitting his stomach. 

He knocks and waits. Counts it out in his head as he hears someone moving around inside, stepping closer until he hears the doorknob turn. 

He feels the stress before he even sees Hyunwoo. Feels how it's tinged with so many other things. Worry and stress and love. Lots of love. 

“Honey?” Hyunwoo asks. 

And then the stress and worry melt off him. Now it's just surprise and relief and something so sweet it sticks to Jooheon’s teeth. 

And then there's more because Hoseok is scrambling toward them, and he looks so excited to see him that it almost knocks Jooheon out. 

Seconds stop. They don't really matter. Jooheon just walks forward to bury his face in Hyunwoo’s chest, and Hyunwoo hugs him tight and pulls him inside. Hoseok closes the door behind them and then he’s behind Jooheon, squishing him into another hug.

“We were so worried about you,” Hyunwoo says. 

“It was so scary to see you so unresponsive,” Hoseok says. 

“And when Minhyuk told us what happened...Honey, I didn't know what to do,” Hyunwoo said. 

Jooheon just listens to them ramble a bit. About how worried they had been. About how they had missed him. About how it had been only four days but it had felt so long. 

“Are you okay, though? Sorry, we were talking so much,” Hoseok says. He hesitates for a second before he backs away, shoving his hands into the pockets of his sweatpants. 

Jooheon pulls away from Hyunwoo and looks at them. 

“I’m good. I’m okay. Although, I guess I have to start training for a whole new thing,” Jooheon says. 

“Okay. I can help,” Hyunwoo says.

“Or you could...both help? Dr. Jung says I need more than one person,” Jooheon says.

“Sure. Just tell me what to do, and I'll do it,” Hoseok says, nodding. 

Everything is calmer, but the air is still. Jooheon pulls at his own shirt. 

“Um. I realize it’s been a week,” Jooheon says. 

“Oh. Honey, don't. Don't worry about that. I get it if you need more time to think about everything,” Hoseok says.

“I don't need to think about anything, though,” Jooheon says. 

Silence greets him. He looks down. 

“Can we sit down though? Talking in the front hallway is kind of...awkward,” Jooheon says.

“Oh, yeah. Here,” Hyunwoo says, moving out of his way. Jooheon walks over to sit down on the couch, gnawing on his lip. Hoseok and Hyunwoo sit down on either side of him. 

Apprehension and nervousness usually go hand in hand, so Jooheon isn't worried when he feels it come off of them. Or at least he tries to convince himself he's not. Even if time feels like it's moving too fast and too slow at the same time, and his throat feels a bit dry, and Hyunwoo and Hoseok are looking at him but not, glancing and then glancing away like they're afraid to spook him. 

“I guess I’ll talk first,” Hoseok says. 

“Okay,” Hyunwoo says. He laughs. Nervous. 

Jooheon hates how nervousness feels. Like a buzzing in the back of his skull. He hates it even more because it’s  _ them. _

“Um. So. Yeah. The three of us. We can work things out if there are bumps along the road, but I need all of us to even agree to this in the first place,” Hoseok says. 

“Right. Yeah,” Hyunwoo says. He nods. 

Jooheon bites his lip. “You guys didn't talk about this already?”

“Without you? What would be the point?” Hoseok says. 

Jooheon laughs a little then looks at Hyunwoo. He looks back. And then he just smiles a little, and Jooheon feels warm. 

That’s all the confirmation he needs, really.

“I can’t even imagine saying no, honestly,” Jooheon says. 

Now, happiness? That’ll always be one of Jooheon’s favorite feelings. Like his limbs want to make him move. Like his cells are tingling. Like an explosion is happening somewhere in his chest. 

And Hoseok’s happy? It almost knocks him over. Hoseok doesn’t feel loud, but he feels strong. Like every emotion he feels is rooted deep inside his soul and then it bursts out of him like a sprout pushing up from the soil. 

It tapers off after a moment, a moment where Hoseok sways closer to them and then sways back, like he was about to take them up in his arms, but he stopped himself before he could get too excited. 

“Hyunwoo?” Hoseok asks, and his voice is soft and careful. Hopeful.

But Hyunwoo is happy too, so Jooheon doesn't need to hope. He just knows. 

“Yeah. I mean, yes. To the three of us,” Hyunwoo says.

And there it is again. A little sway forward that stops just a bit short. 

Because what do you do when you decide to date two other people?

Jooheon laughs, lips twitching up, and he looks at them. The both of them. And Hyunwoo’s happy has always been a bit more reserved than Hoseok’s. A hum to Hoseok’s internal jump for joy. 

And when Hoseok had been so happy he couldn't stand it anymore, he had just grabbed Hyunwoo and kissed him. Right there in front of everyone. 

But Hyunwoo is soft and quiet. He just leans in to kiss Jooheon’s cheek, and then he leans forward to kiss Hoseok’s too. 

This time there isn't a crash against Jooheon. There’s no heart-shattering moment. No overwhelming tide of ache. 

Hoseok giggles, and then he pulls Jooheon’s face toward him. 

The earth stops spinning under Jooheon’s seat. 

Hoseok leans in and kisses him, soft and careful like everything about him always is. 

And then the only happiness that is there is Jooheon’s. His happiness feels like rockets taking off. Like sinking into a warm bath. Like the word  _ finally.  _

He feels dizzy when Hoseok pulls away. And then there’s another kiss on his cheek, and he turns to meet it. 

Hyunwoo goes completely still when their lips meet. Slightly startled, but pleasantly surprised. He pulls away, and then he’s laughing, face flushed. 

“This is crazy. This feels crazy,” Hyunwoo says, but he’s smiling. 

“Oh, hush. Come here,” Hoseok says before he leans in and pecks his lips against Hyunwoo’s.

If we’re being honest, Jooheon is waiting for it. For the moment that happened after that bomb mission to happen again. 

But this isn’t that. It doesn't feel like abandonment and heartbreak because it's not. 

It’s  _ something _ else entirely. 

+++

“You do realize that I’ll have to personally kill both of you if you make Honey cry,” Changkyun says, pointing a very accusatory finger at them over the bonfire. 

“We are  _ not  _ going to make him cry, Changkyun,” Hoseok says. 

“Yeah, you better not. I'll get Kihyun to set you both on fire,” Changkyun says. 

“Why am I always setting people on fire for other people?” Kihyun asks.

“That's your job, Ki. Honestly, it’s the only thing you’re good for,” Minhyuk says.

“One of these days, Minhyuk, I’m going to singe your eyebrows off,” Kihyun says. 

“I thought we agreed to leave his eyebrows alone,” Hyungwon says. 

“And there went the conversation,” Hyunwoo whispers. Jooheon grins before leaning his head on his shoulder. 

“This is good. It means they accept it,” Jooheon says. 

“Of course, we do,” Kihyun says, turning back to them. 

“What did you expect? Oh no, how dare you guys date? Me and Minhyuk have been dating since we were sixteen,” Hyungwon says. 

Hoseok squeezes Jooheon’s hand before he clears his throat. 

“Right, well. That’s it. We’re dating,” he says.

“You three are ridiculous, honestly. If you guys had just opened your mouths and talked, this could’ve been a thing years ago,” Minhyuk says. 

“Thank you for your wisdom,” Hyunwoo grumbles. 

“Stop, they’re cute,” Hyungwon says. 

Jooheon glances around at Hoseok and Hyunwoo. He’d have to agree. 

_ “Okay, but have you guys like...fucked yet?”  _

“Changkyun, shut up,” Jooheon says. 

“He didn't say anything,” Kihyun says.

“Oh no, I definitely did,” Changkyun says. 

Jooheon glares at him over the fire, and he knows his face is turning bright red. 

“What did you say?” Minhyuk asks. 

Changkyun grins. 

_ “Don’t you dare,”  _ Jooheon thinks at him. 

_ “Answer me, then.” _

Jooheon frowns. 

_ “No, not yet.” _

“Nothing,” Changkyun says, answering Minhyuk. 

Jooheon shuts his eyes as everyone starts talking at once, asking Changkyun what he asked. 

“What did he say though?” Hoseok whispers into his ear. 

“He asked a personal question,” Jooheon whispers back. 

“A personal question? Why would you not answer, I thought you guys told each other everything,” Hyunwoo asks. 

Jooheon groans and looks at him, pleading. He can almost see the lightbulb go off in Hyunwoo's head, his lips forming an “o” and his face starting to turn red. 

“Yeah. Exactly,” Jooheon says. 

“Oh. Well, there’s nothing to be embarrassed about,” Hoseok says softly. He kneads Jooheon’s hand like he’s nervous though. 

“Oh! You asked about sex?” Kihyun says loudly. 

It’s almost funny how simultaneously Hyunwoo and Hoseok’s brains just freeze up. Would have made Jooheon laugh, if he wasn't busy wishing he had been the one blessed with being able to turn invisible. 

“Changkyun always taking one for the team,” Hyungwon says. 

“Wouldn't they have  _ taking one for the team _ covered though?” Minhyuk muses.

“Okay, and this conversation is over now,” Hyunwoo says, clapping his hands together like he would at the end of a mission briefing.

“Oh my God, but I have another joke,” Minhyuk says. 

“Minhyuk,” Hyunwoo warns.

“No, it's okay, let’s hear it,” Jooheon says, staring right at Minhyuk. 

Minhyuk licks his lips and grins. “Minds aren't the only thing Jooheon is going to be penetrating now, huh?”

“Oh, my God,” Hoseok says.

Jooheon snorts, burying his face in Hyunwoo’s shoulder to hide it. 

“Well, as long as they follow rule number one. You know. Safety first,” Kihyun says. 

“Fuck,” Changkyun says before he starts laughing, and then he’s burying his face Kihyun’s chest. 

“Well, this was good,” Hoseok says.

“In all seriousness, we’re happy for you guys. Congrats,” Hyungwon says. 

Jooheon rolls his eyes, but he can't stop smiling. He squeezes Hoseok’s hand.

“Yeah. We’re happy, too,” Jooheon says. 

It’s quiet for a moment. Hoseok leans over to kiss his cheek, and Hyunwoo kisses the top of his head. 

And then there’s an overwhelming thought that tickles in the back of Jooheon’s head. 

The word  _ cute. _

And Jooheon laughs because at least everyone is happy right then. 

At least everyone is together. 

+++

“So what exactly are we doing?” Hoseok asks. They’re standing in the Jooheon’s training room. His because the only people that used it for training was Dr. Jung and Jooheon. 

“Well, I need to practice going into people’s minds, so I won't get as tired when I do it,” Jooheon says. He sets up three chairs in the middle of the room, two facing each other, and the other one facing the pair. 

“Okay, but why do you need both of us?” Hyunwoo asks. 

Jooheon sighs as he sits down. “Sometimes I can get a bit...lost. And I need someone to pull me out,” Jooheon says.

“Oh. So you want to go in my head?” Hoseok asks.

“I don't have to! It can be either of you pulling me out,” Jooheon says. 

“I’ll do that since I'm not used to the whole getting my mind surfed thing yet,” Hoseok says. 

“That’s fine. Hyunwoo?”

“I'm down,” Hyunwoo says. He sits down across from Jooheon and smiles at him. Jooheon smiles back before he leans over to kiss him. 

“Cool. How do I know to pull you out? And how do I do that?” Hoseok asks as he sits in the other chair. 

Taking his hand, Jooheon squeezes it. “If I start squeezing really hard, you need to start calling for me. Out loud and in your head,” Jooheon explains. 

Hoseok nods and squeezes his hand back. 

“What do you say to him, Hyunwoo?” Hoseok asks. 

“I usually just tell him to come here. Come back. Use his name a lot,” Hyunwoo says. He leans over and kisses Hoseok on the cheek. “You’ll be fine. Don’t worry. I can still talk...right?”

“Right. You should barely even know I'm in there,” Jooheon says. 

Hyunwoo looks him in the eyes and takes a deep breath. 

“Whenever you’re ready,” he says softly. 

The veil goes up, and Jooheon focuses in on Hyunwoo. At first, it’s just now. His feelings. How calm he is. How soothing that feels. 

He takes a deep breath and pushes further, to just a few minutes ago. 

He can’t see them anymore, his vision flooded by memories of walking toward the room, all of them side by side. 

It’s strange to see himself like this in Hyunwoo’s mind. He had never been further than just right now with any of his team. Even when Hoseok was showing memories, he was  _ showing  _ them to Jooheon, actively thinking of them. 

He’s vaguely aware of talking happening around him, but it doesn't stop him. He thinks of a time and tries to find it in Hyunwoo’s head, find it in his memories.

The further he pushes, the more his head starts to pound, but he has a mission. He goes back to when Hyunwoo was fifteen, to the week they all picked their code names for the first time.

Images flash through his mind that are so close to his but not his. Like watching your memories on a movie screen. 

And Hyunwoo is so quiet internally. Like he whispers his own thoughts, a library in his head. 

_ “I think I’ll go by Jet. Sounds cool, right?” _

_ Ah. Here. _

The little snippet of a memory flashing by is enough for Jooheon to latch onto. 

He can see them, the six of them that aren't Hyunwoo, sitting in a circle in one of the common rooms. They all look so small. He notices Minhyuk and Kihyun holding hands and suddenly remembers when that happened. They were fourteen, and that had lasted only about two weeks, but…

_ “Mine and Minhyuk’s are going to match. I already found some that sound cool,” Kihyun says.  _

_ “How are they going to match? You’re opposites,” Hyungwon says.  _

_ “I like to think of it as complements,” Minhyuk says.  _

_ “Just tell us what they are,” Hoseok says.  _

_ Kihyun’s puffs up his chest. “I'm going to be Pyre. And Minhyuk is going to be Rime.” _

_ “What does rhyming have to do with ice?” Changkyun asks.  _

_ “Not rhyming. Rime. R, I, M, E. It's an old word for frost, and it has the same amount of letters as Pyre.” _

_ “Did you find those in those poetry books you read?” Hyungwon asks.  _

_ Kihyun sniffs. “Yeah. So what? It’s cooler than Jet. At least it has to do with our powers.” _

_ “You guys are trying too hard. You should make it simple like me. I.M., Invisible Man, it really just made itself,” Changkyun says.  _

_ “Yeah. I'm just going by Honey. You guys all call me that anyway, and it's not my real name.” _

_ “Well, I'm using Wonho. It means arc in Korean,” Hoseok says.  _

_ “What does that have to do with anything?” Minhyuk asks.  _

_ “Arcs can be strong,” Hoseok says with a pout.  _

_ “I picked Haunt because when I move stuff around it feels like a ghost is doing it,” Hyungwon says.  _

_ “Hyungwon wins,” Changkyun says.  _

_ “What?! But I worked so hard on mine and Minhyuk’s!” Kihyun says. _

_ “Haunt and Hyungwon start with the same letter. He gets like triple points for that,” Changkyun announces. _

“Jooheon?” 

Hoseok’s voice echoes in his head. Jooheon feels sad as he pulls himself out of the memory he had been happily reliving. 

“Honey, come here,” Hoseok says again. 

Jooheon groans as he opens his eyes, the room feeling bright. 

“I did it!” Hoseok says happily before he kisses Jooheon’s cheek. 

“You okay?” Hyunwoo asks. 

“Head is starting to hurt,” Jooheon answers, reaching up to rub at his temple. 

“Aw, no,” Hoseok says. He pulls Jooheon closer and kisses his temple softly. Hyunwoo grins at them. 

“You think you can make it back to your room before you need to sleep?” Hyunwoo asks. 

It aches, but doesn't stab. Jooheon nods. 

“Yeah. I'm good,” he says. Standing up slowly, Hoseok helps hold him up, wraps his arms around his waist and holds him close. He’s still kissing at Jooheon’s temple. 

Jooheon feels himself flush. A kiss here and there he had gotten used to, but he still wasn't used to the cuddling that Hoseok was determined to do every time they were close to each other. 

At least, not now that it wasn't just friendly. 

“Mind telling me what you looked at?” Hyunwoo asks as he puts the chairs away. 

“When we all talked about our code names for the first time. Remember when Kihyun and Minhyuk dated?” Jooheon asks. 

“Oh, wow, I almost forgot that happened. What were they thinking?” Hoseok says. 

“Don’t know. Rule six, remember?”

“They thought their bickering meant they had a crush on each other,” Hyunwoo says.

“They really tried to hold hands for, what? Two weeks? Did they even kiss?” Hoseok asks. 

Jooheon smiles, trying to ignore his headache. 

“Definitely not,” Jooheon says. 

Hoseok fully wraps his arms around him, smiling small. 

“Come on, let’s get out of here already,” Hyunwoo says, holding the door open. 

“Coming,” Jooheon says, kissing Hoseok before he pulls away to go to Hyunwoo. 

“You sure you’re okay?” Hyunwoo asks. 

“I’m not going to pass out. I just have a headache,” Jooheon says. 

“Good.”

As they walk, Hyunwoo presses the back of his hand against Jooheon's because he’s still shy too. He feels awkward and clumsy if he grabs their hands, so he just tries to encourage Jooheon or Hoseok to grab his hand first. 

It was adorable, honestly. 

They are walking into Jooheon's room when Jooheon stops. 

Hyunwoo turns to him. “What?”

Jooheon twitches his head to the side and looks down the hallway. It feels like something is wrong. Like someone is asking for help just around the corner. 

“Honey?” Hoseok asks.

His head hurts, so he knows he shouldn't. 

“Can one of you go check down the hall? It sounds like someone is asking for help, but I don't want my headache to get worse,” Jooheon says. 

“I’ll go,” Hoseok says. He kisses Jooheon’s forehead before he walks out of the room.

Hyunwoo does grab his hand now. He pulls him to the couch and sits down. 

Jooheon is much less flustered by being in Hyunwoo's arms. He had made a home out of them a long time ago. He lays against Hyunwoo, frowning because he can still sort of hear it, far away. 

“Down the hall. Isn’t Minhyuk and Hyungwon's room down there?” Hyunwoo asks.

And then it clicks. 

Hyungwon.

It sounds like Hyungwon’s voice. 

Jooheon sits up, not caring about if his headache gets worse.

“We need to go,” Jooheon says as he scrambles up, running out of the room.

Hyunwoo calls after him, but he’s following. 

He rounds the corner, and he doesn’t see Hoseok, but he sees their door is open, and that there’s ice covering the wall across from it. 

“Oh fuck,” Hyunwoo says, running forward, and Jooheon sees the glimmer of his shield come up around him as he passes. 

Sludge fills his veins. He reaches into his pocket for his phone as he walks forward. He starts calling Changkyun as he forces himself forward, pushes into the cloud of what he can only call pure horror pouring out of the room. 

“Honey! What’s up?” Changkyun says as he picks up. 

“Hyungwon and Minhyuk.”

“Honey? Jooheon, what’s wrong?” Changkyun says. 

Horror and dread. Just as cold as ice cubes in his veins and somehow heavier. Jooheon gasps, forces himself to breathe deep.

“I-i don’t...just get here. Quick,” Jooheon manages to say. 

“We’re coming. What’s going on?”

Jooheon gasps again and shuts his eyes. 

Panic. So much panic. 

Like a riled up rattlesnake let loose in the chambers of his heart. 

And it’s folded in on itself. Doubled up. 

He grabs onto the door frame and looks. 

The whole room is ice. All the walls and floors covered in it. On the floor, is Minhyuk, and he’s curled up, his hands covering his head.

His hands are entirely blue. The strands of hair on his head are frosted. He’s sobbing so hard it’s nauseating, makes Jooheon’s insides push upward. 

And Hyungwon is crying, too, but there’s an edge to him as he tries to pull on Minhyuk, tries to get him up, and Hoseok keeps trying to get closer to help, but it’s like they can’t notice. Entirely filled up with dread.

“Hyungwon, what happened? What’s wrong?” Hyunwoo says, kneeling down to look at them. 

“H-he can’t get like this, h-he’ll f-freeze and d-die, he can’t,” Hyungwon sobs out. 

Hyunwoo looks back at Hoseok and Hoseok frowns, but he gets closer, gently moving Hyungwon away with one arm as his other arm scoops under Minhyuk.

“No!” Hyungwon yells, reaching for Minhyuk, and everyone in the room is pulled forward, pulled toward him, until he’s holding Minhyuk in his arms, but Minhyuk isn’t even on this planet right now to notice. 

Jooheon sees how the blue has snaked all the way up to his elbow, and something hits him that actually makes him retch. 

“What the fuck is happening?” Kihyun asks as he runs in. Instantly, it gets warmer, and Jooheon looks up to see that there’s fire in both of his hands as he walks forward. 

That makes the panic rise up more. 

“No! You’ll melt him! Stop!” Hyungwon yells. 

Kihyun groans, and the fires go out. 

“What is happening!” he asks again.

Jooheon knows why Hyungwon is panicking. Can see the way he’s rubbing his hands up and down Minhyuk's chest like he’s trying to make him warm again, and Hyunwoo keeps trying to talk softly to him, to calm him down.

“We aren’t trying to hurt him, Hyungwon, we’re trying to help, just tell us what happened,” he’s saying. 

Changkyun grabs Jooheon's face and makes him look at him.

“Whatever you did to Minhyuk that day, you have to do it now,” Changkyun says, eyes wide.

Jooheon shakes his head. He can barely function right now, and he’s not  _ in there.  _ He has the veil on, and panic is pinning him down.

“Jooheon, I know. I know, it's hard, but if you don’t--”

Changkyun stops. He doesn't need to finish the sentence.

Jooheon takes a deep breath and shuts his eyes, pulling the veil off again.

There are no words for the darkness that claws up his throat into his skull then. 

It feels like death. 

Like the bottom of a black sea. 

There is nowhere left to sink. 

The terrifying part is that it is calm. It isn't roiling and thrashing like before. 

Just black. And heavy. 

Jooheon doesn’t know what to do with that. He can’t make an already calm sea calm again. 

But he crawls through the mud at the bottom anyway, not knowing where else to go. 

_ “Minhyuk? Can you hear me?” _

There isn’t an answer. 

_ “Minhyuk, please.” _

_ “It’s over.” _

_ “Whatever it is, no it’s not. We don’t even know what’s wrong.” _

Silence.

It pushes him down against the mud again, presses his nose into it. 

And then Jooheon gets angry. He fights himself up out of the mud and screams. 

He isn’t the sea. 

He’s stronger than that. 

He’s light, and he yanks the darkness out of the sea.

Gasping, Jooheon comes back, and Changkyun is holding him. 

He looks over and sees that the blue is gone from Minhyuk’s hands, and Hyungwon is grabbing them and pulling them to his lips to kiss over and over again. 

Kihyun kneels in front of them then, holding a tiny flame in his hands. 

Over that, there’s a shimmer. 

“Hyungwon?” Hyunwoo says softly. 

“I thought he was dying,” Hyungwon whispers, and he grips into Minhyuk tighter, but Minhyuk is blank as he stares ahead. 

“Minhyuk?” Kihyun asks. 

Jooheon whimpers as he buries his face in Changkyun's shoulder, gripping at his shirt. 

He already knows. He didn't look for it, but he knows.

“They think I'm getting worse. They’re discontinuing my training until further notice,” Minhyuk says softly. 

“They’re just regrouping for a bit. Once they get done--”

“I’m out, Kihyun. I'm off the team. They told me to go  _ home _ ,” Minhyuk says. 

Jooheon cries. From the pain, from the knowing, from everyone processing this at once. 

His little family. Torn apart. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!!  
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	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Their team was still picking up the pieces, but at least Jooheon had found something to hold onto in the mess.

The need for sleep is all-consuming, even as the world falls apart around Jooheon. He ends up carried by Hoseok to Hyungwon and Minhyuk’s bed, and he sleeps against him. 

He doesn't sleep well though. 

There’s too much happening for that. 

He sleeps only because his body and brain are forcing him to shut down. He couldn't fight it if he wanted to. The room goes silent, out of shock or out of politeness for Jooheon. He doesn't know. 

In his dreams, there’s still red tinged panic around the edges, and a feeling of dread sludging up in his stomach. 

He’s thankful for the quiet in the room. Even if it’s because no one can say anything. Even if it’s because there is nothing to say. And even if there was, they don’t have team meetings if even one of the members isn't present. 

And Jooheon knows that he may be asleep, but he’s probably more present than either Minhyuk or Hyungwon are. 

Time passes. 

Seconds are minutes and minutes are hours. Leaden. 

Panic is urgent, but dread lingers. 

When Jooheon makes the decision that he can’t sleep anymore, he opens his eyes and looks around. 

Hyungwon and Minhyuk are where they left them, sitting on the ground, Hyungwon wrapped around Minhyuk from behind. He’s still kissing at Minhyuk's fingertips. Minhyuk is just watching him do it. 

Kihyun has made himself busy melting and evaporating all the ice in the room because fixing things is his way of coping with the world. Because he can’t actually fix the issue, but he can certainly fix their room for now. 

Hyunwoo and Changkyun aren’t trying to comfort Minhyuk and Hyungwon, but they’re trying to make them present. Here. Changkyun keeps rubbing up and down Minhyuk's arms, and Hyunwoo keeps playing with Hyungwon’s hair. 

Hoseok just holds him, staring off into space. 

When Jooheon sits up, everyone glances up at him. 

Minhyuk clears his throat. There's tear tracks on his face that he hasn't bothered to wipe away. 

“Thanks. For you know. Saving me,” Minhyuk says. Hyungwon squeezes around Minhyuk tighter, burying his face in the junction between his neck and shoulder. 

“I’m sorry I had to go in your head without explicit permission first,” Jooheon says back.

Minhyuk looks at him like he would smile if he had the energy. If the emotions in his body hadn’t turned themselves down to numbness. It’s the quietest Minhyuk has ever been to Jooheon, and it’s eerie. It’s eerie as Minhyuk looks down at his hands. Closes them, opens them. No point in doing it. Just moving to prove he still can. Jooheon almost wants to lean closer to see if he can feel anything from Minhyuk at all. 

“They told me to go home like this isn’t already my home,” Minhyuk whispers out. 

“They can’t send you home. You were brought here for a reason. They can't...expel you,” Changkyun says. 

Minhyuk just blinks at him. “Can’t they, though? Can't they just decide I'm not worth it anymore?”

“Stop,” Hyungwon croaks out, nuzzling against Minhyuk's neck. 

Minhyuk sighs and reaches up to pet at Hyungwon’s head. 

“They're right, though. I'm a burden to the team if you guys are just going to be worried about me the entire time on missions,” Minhyuk says. 

“You’re not a fucking burden,” Kihyun says. 

Minhyuk swallows and looks down.

“I just don't think there’s anything we can do about it,” he says. 

“Like hell there isn’t,” Hyunwoo says, and every eye falls on him as he stands up. 

And Jooheon’s face goes blank as he watches Hyunwoo leave the room, his emotions searing up against him.

“Honey?” Changkyun asks, tapping on his knee. 

“Oh...no,” Jooheon says as he springs to his feet. 

“Honey!” Hoseok says, grabbing onto his hand, and Jooheon turns to him. 

He probably looks crazy. Maybe he is. But he’s never felt Hyunwoo be angry before. Ever. 

Until now. 

Unlocked and molten. 

“We need to go after him,” Jooheon says. 

“We’ll go, Honey. Ki, Changkyun, stay here with Hyungwon and Minhyuk,” Hoseok says, standing up and intertwining his and Jooheon's fingers together. 

“Okay. Be careful,” Kihyun says. 

Jooheon tugs Hoseok out of the room and starts running after Hyunwoo, hoping he’s heading in the right direction.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Hoseok asks. 

“Hyunwoo’s mad,” Jooheon replies. That actually seems to be enough of an explanation for Hoseok. 

They end up near the head offices, and Hoseok starts leading the way. Jooheon knows it’s to protect him, so he lets him. 

They stand outside the Headmaster’s office, and they can barely hear his muffled voice on the other side of the door. 

“Fuck, we can’t hear him,” Hoseok says. 

Jooheon stares at the door. “No. But maybe…”

“No, you are exhausted,” Hoseok says, looking at him gravely. 

Jooheon sighs and touches the door handle and gently pulls. 

They didn't close the door all the way, and through the tiny crack that Jooheon made, they can suddenly hear.

“...can’t make decisions like that without informing me first. He’s still on my team. All those decisions are supposed to file in through me,” Hyunwoo says. His voice is calm but quick. Quicker than usual. Jooheon and Hoseok gape at each other for a moment, not knowing what to do with themselves. 

_ “The chairs,”  _ Jooheon thinks, tugging on Hoseok’s shirt in the direction of the chairs next to the door. 

Hoseok looks back at him and nods before he settles down next to him. 

“Mr. Son, please calm down. It was easier to tell Mr. Lee our decision directly since he was already there,” the Headmaster says. 

“Calm down? That decision could have killed two of my teammates today.”

Silence. 

“Hyperbole will get you nowhere, Mr. Son.” His voice comes out soft and quick. Stress. Like he needs it to be an exaggeration for his own conscious. Jooheon grips at the arm rests, feeling sick. 

There was the sound of wood scraping tile. Hyunwoo moving a chair, maybe.

“You've known us since we were kids. When have I ever used hyperbole?” he asks.

There was something dangerous to his voice. An edge that Jooheon had never heard before. For a moment, he’s glad that Hyunwoo’s powers are never used to attack. 

“I can see your concern, but if the doctors think testing further would put Mr. Lee’s life at risk, then going on missions is out of the question. He can’t fit on any team safely.”

“Why send him home? There are plenty of people you need here, running things behind the scenes.”

“People equipped for those jobs. Mr. Lee is neither trained not studied enough to do any of them.”

“He could be. He could learn. Sending him home could be the most dangerous thing you do.”

“How so?”

“You think anger would freeze him to death? Think about the anger you’d feel when your way of life, your home, your family just get taken away from you because some doctor made a decision.”

Silence, again. Hoseok leans back in his chair and rubs at his face. Jooheon touches his shoulder, not knowing what else to do. How else to comfort him when they’re just sitting in a hallway. 

“I had to watch Minhyuk freeze his entire room and most of himself because of this decision. I had to watch Hyungwon think his boyfriend was dying.”

“Mr. Son--”

“And  _ you _ almost killed him with that decision. This place is supposed to protect us. Keep us safe. What happens if people find out you just send people away if they’re just a bit harder to deal with?”

And then Jooheon feels something he’s sure he’s not supposed to. Fear. 

There’s movement inside, and Jooheon shoots up, not knowing where the fear is coming from, but the slight possibility that it’s Hyunwoo keeps him from stopping himself. 

Hoseok reacts to Jooheon reacting, putting himself in front of him again as he tears open the door. 

Hyunwoo is standing, leaning his hands on the back of one of the chairs in the room, and the Headmaster turns to them with wide eyes.

“You can't just barge in here,” he stutters out. 

“Hyunwoo?” Hoseok asks, face serious. 

Hyunwoo stands up straight, not taking his eyes off the man behind the desk.

The Headmaster sighs and slumps a bit. Jooheon can feel him turning a decision over and over in his head. He ends up shutting his eyes and sighing again.

“I’ll override the expulsion, but he is not resuming training, and he’s no longer on your team,” he says. 

Hyunwoo doesn’t move. Just stares. 

The Headmaster looks up at him and rubs at his face. “Fine! Fine. We’ll put him on the reserves for your team,” he amends. 

Hyunwoo doesn't say anything. He just turns and walks out, brushing past Hoseok and Jooheon. 

Neither of them care to be polite to the Headmaster. 

They go after Hyunwoo, grabbing at his shirt and arms until Hyunwoo wraps his arms around both of their shoulders. 

“You did good,” Hoseok says, kissing Hyunwoo’s shoulder. 

“I feel like shit,” Hyunwoo says. 

“I know. It’s okay,” Jooheon says. 

Hyunwoo’s hand tightens around his shoulder, but he stays silent. 

When they make it back to the room, Kihyun is trying to make Minhyuk and Hyungwon drink water as Changkyun rubs up and down Minhyuk's arms like he’s still afraid of him getting cold again. 

“You’re not going anywhere. You’re off training, but no one is sending you anywhere,” Hyunwoo says as he plops down on the floor in front of them. 

Minhyuk is slow to react. A glacier moving. Every reaction takes a second longer than it usually would. He looks up at Hyunwoo.

“W-what?”

“I talked to the Headmaster. No one is expelling you. I even got him to just put you on reserves instead of completely off-team,” Hyunwoo says. 

Minhyuk swallows. “I’ll never be on the team again,” he says. 

Hyungwon grabs his face and pulls it towards him. 

“You’ll be home, though. Safe with us. With me,” Hyungwon says. Jooheon looks away, feeling like the moment is too tender to be watching. 

“We’ll figure something out, Minhyuk. I can't believe the doctors are giving up,” Changkyun says as he moves a bit away from him. 

Minhyuk doesn’t respond, and the silence makes Jooheon look back up again. He’s hugging Hyungwon now, face buried in his chest. 

Hoseok clears his throat. 

“I think we deserve some bottomless fries after this,” he says. 

And there it is. A laugh. Jooheon doesn’t know who started it, but it spreads. All of them chuckling and sniffling. Even Minhyuk looks up at him, corners of his mouth turned up.

“I’m starving,” Minhyuk admits.

“Okay. Let’s go drive two hours to eat at Red Robin for the billionth time,” Hyungwon says softly, kissing the top of Minhyuk's head. 

“You say that like you’re ever the one that drives,” Hyunwoo says as he gets up. 

He’s not angry anymore, but Jooheon can tell he feels gross about something. He sticks to his side, elbows locked together. 

They all trudge down to the minivan they use to drive places when they’re not on a mission, and they’re quiet, but it isn’t eerie. Everyone retreats into their own head as they ride toward their destination, and Jooheon cuddles up next to Hoseok and sleeps again, this time slightly less troubled. 

+++

“Changkyun, I think we need to go outside,” Jooheon says as he looks into his room. 

Changkyun, usually, is pretty tidy. He can’t work in a cluttered space, he used to say. But as Jooheon looks around his room, he knows something terrible is happening. 

Changkyun is hunched over his desktop in only his boxers. His bed looks like it hasn't been made in ages, and the trashcan in his room is starting to overflow. Add to that the laundry that is strewn about on his floor, and Jooheon is definitely worried. 

Changkyun looks up at him. 

“Hm? Why? Something wrong?”

Jooheon glances around the room again, swallowing down the sarcastic response. 

“No, I just thought maybe we could use some fresh air? How long has it been since Kihyun last came over?” Jooheon asks. 

If Kihyun was set loose here, he’d have it clean again in half an hour. If he had been over, it wouldn't have gotten even the tiniest bit messy. 

“Oh, I've just been busy with school work and research and stuff,” Changkyun says, turning back toward his monitor. 

Jooheon notes that he didn't actually answer his question and steps inside the room, picking up the laundry as he goes and dropping it in the hamper next to Changkyun’s bed. 

“I know, but Ki doesn't mind just coming over to be around you,” Jooheon says.

Changkyun frowns as he types something. 

“Outside?” he asks. 

“Yep. Just go for a stroll.”

Changkyun looks toward the wall, and the entire thing goes invisible. The skies are gray, and the wind whirls through the dead leaves on the ground. The wall appears again as Changkyun turns back toward his screen. 

“Too cold,” Changkyun answers. 

Jooheon sighs and walks over to him. 

“Okay, what’s wrong? You never get like this,” Jooheon says, smoothing down Changkyun’s hair. 

Changkyun sighs and exits out of his browser to look up at him. He looks exhausted, and he feels exhausted. His glasses hang halfway down his nose, and there’s dark bags under his eyes. Jooheon frowns and pushes his glasses back up. 

“You haven’t been sleeping,” he says softly. It isn’t a question. He knows. The last time he had looked like this was when he thought he had hit a dead end in his research and had stayed up for days trying to figure out where he had gone wrong. 

Changkyun pouts up at him and then leans his head forward to press against Jooheon’s belly. Jooheon combs through Changkyun’s hair at the nape of his neck. 

“I just want to fix it,” Changkyun says softly. 

Jooheon takes a deep breath and cradles the back of Changkyun’s head, trying his best to be comforting. 

“I know. I wish I could fix it, too.”

“But I could. If I was just smart enough or further along in my studies or anything, I could maybe figure this out,” Changkyun whines. 

Jooheon drops down on his haunches and scratches at the back of Changkyun’s head. 

“You can’t blame yourself for something out of your hands,” Jooheon says. 

Changkyun frowns. “I hate seeing you guys like this. All of you. You’re all so upset all the time, and even when we’re trying to have a good time, it just feels off.”

“I know. Trust me, I know better than anyone how off everything feels.”

“And I just...don’t understand how the doctors could just decide to give up. I’ve never seen them give up before,” Changkyun says. 

“They just thought they were doing more harm than good, so they stopped,” Jooheon says, repeating what they were told when they all went down with Minhyuk to investigate. 

“I know, but there has to be a way to test things without literally ruining his life. To make it manageable if he gets too worked up for whatever reason,” Changkyun says. 

Jooheon kisses Changkyun’s cheek and stands up. 

“Well, if anyone would figure out, it’d be you. But I know Kihyun has to be worried about you if you haven’t seen him in a few days.”

Changkyun sighs and rubs at his face. “I just want a nap.”

“Like you’ve never slept with Kihyun before.”

Changkyun smiles. “You’re right. I should actually see my boyfriend. I miss him.”

“I’d go see him instead of bringing him here though,” Jooheon says, looking around the room again. 

“Right. You’re right.”

They both move out of the room, and Jooheon hangs back as Changkyun goes for the door. He stops for a second before he turns to look at Jooheon. 

“Were you just trying to get me out of here so your boyfriends could come over?” Changkyun asks. 

“I originally asked you to go on a walk  _ with _ me, so no,” Jooheon replies. 

“Oh.”

“Them being able to come over now is just a happy accident.”

Changkyun gives him an unimpressed look. “I’ll text you if I’m coming back tonight, but I’m already leaning towards no.”

“Shut up.”

“Bye, have fun. Be safe,” Changkyun calls as he runs out the door. The door closes before Jooheon even has a chance to respond. 

He sinks down on the couch and sighs.

Luxuriating in the silence of the room, Jooheon gets comfortable. He hasn’t been by himself, truly by himself, in a while. 

Even if Changkyun thinks quiet and feels quiet, it’s like muted static in the background of Jooheon’s mind. It’s been a while since there’s just been nothing. Just Jooheon and his own thoughts and feelings. Just calm silence. 

He lays there for a few minutes before he realizes that he didn’t want calm silence anymore. Being alone isn’t what he wants. It never was. 

So Jooheon texts the group chat that Hoseok started for just the three of them and tells them that he has the room to himself tonight even though Hoseok and Hyunwoo both have their own rooms. 

It only takes a few seconds for both of them to message him back, and a few minutes after that there’s a knock at the door, and his quiet is already disappearing, but Jooheon couldn’t be happier about it. 

When he opens the door, Hoseok instantly plants a kiss on his lips before he walks into the room, and Hyunwoo kisses his cheek as he follows in after him. 

“You got Changkyun out of gremlin mode,” Hoseok says peeking at the door to Changkyun’s room. 

“Gremlin mode?” Jooheon asks. 

“It’s what Kihyun called it. He was complaining about it at the gym,” Hyunwoo says. 

“Ah. Does Changkyun know he calls it that?” Jooheon asks. 

“Please, Kihyun practically begged us not to tell him he said that,” Hoseok answers, mischievous grin on his face.

“What did you want to do?” Hyunwoo asks, pulling Jooheon's attention away.

“Oh. I just thought we could hang out. Watch a movie,” Jooheon says, going to settle down on the couch. 

“You mean Twilight? Isn't that the only movie you own?” Hoseok asks as he sits down next to Jooheon. 

“I own other movies!”

“Yeah. The rest of the series,” Hyunwoo jokes as he sits down on Hoseok’s other side. 

Jooheon pouts at them. “We don't have to if you guys don't want to.”

“I've actually never watched them before, so sure,” Hoseok says. 

“What?!” Jooheon says. 

Hoseok smiles at him and reaches up to pinch at his cheeks. “You’re so cute.”

Jooheon's mustered up anger instantly fizzles out somewhere in his chest. 

It’s quiet for probably way too long. Jooheon pouts bigger. 

“So Twilight since you never watched it,” Jooheon murmurs. 

“Sure,” Hoseok says. 

Jooheon springs up from the couch to put the movie and grab them a few bottles of water. When he gets back to the couch, Hyunwoo has his arm around Hoseok, and Hoseok is leaning back on him. 

“Here,” Hoseok says, holding his arms out toward him. Jooheon grabs the remote before he sits down. Hoseok puts his arms around him and pulls him closer. Jooheon leaning back on Hoseok leaning back on Hyunwoo, and it should be a mess, but Jooheon refuses to move now that he's settled. 

He presses play, and they watch. 

Hoseok leaning down to kiss the top of his head is a distraction, but not one Jooheon finds he minds terribly. 

They actually make it halfway through the movie before Hyunwoo groans about being uncomfortable now and gently shoves at Hoseok’s shoulder. 

“Okay, okay, give me a second,” Hoseok says. The next second, Jooheon is wholly lifted off the couch. 

“You need to warn me before you just pick me up!” Jooheon says, reaching down to poke at Hoseok until he gently sets him sitting up next to him. 

“It's so much easier to just scoop you, though,” Hoseok says as he sits up straight in the middle of the couch. 

“Scoop me?” Jooheon says before he instantly grabs onto Hoseok’s arm and lays his head on his shoulder. 

“Sounds rude,” Hyunwoo says as he settles against Hoseok’s other shoulder. 

“Why do I feel like you’re both ganging up on me?” Hoseok says. 

_ “We could,”  _ Hyunwoo thinks. 

Jooheon kisses Hoseok's shoulder. “Of course not.”

_ “What's the plan?” _

_ “We tickle him.” _

_ “I don't want my couch broken.” _

_ “Okay, fair point.” _

“Guys?” Hoseok asks. 

Jooheon decides the school owes him a new couch anyway. They surely owe them something. 

Jooheon sits up and kisses Hoseok’s cheek before he digs his fingers in his sides. 

The couch doesn’t break. 

Hoseok does curl in on himself and squeal and laugh though. Hyunwoo grins as he wraps his arms around Hoseok’s middle and holds him. 

“Stop! Both of you!” Hoseok shrieks, and then they all stop, and Jooheon buries his face in Hoseok’s shoulder. 

“I love you,” Jooheon says softly. 

And the warmth spreads all over his chest and his back, and then Hoseok is scooping him up again, but this time it’s to pull him closer. 

Maybe they still don’t have it all the way figured out. They barely push past what could probably be considered platonic. Especially since Jooheon had always liked kisses. Maybe they were all still shy. Or maybe it was hard for them to push past years of just yearning. Of being too worried about their own feelings to even hug for too long. 

So Jooheon is always still slightly surprised when Hoseok or Hyunwoo  _ really _ kiss him. 

When it’s more than just a light peck or brush against his lips. 

When it’s Hoseok grabbing the back of his head and pulling him up into his lap and mouthing at him like he wanted to steal every breath Jooheon had ever taken. 

And he would probably succeed if Jooheon didn’t pull himself away. 

“Um. Twilight. We were watching Twilight,” Jooheon says softly. 

Hoseok laughs and pecks his lips again before he moves to the edge of the couch and puts Jooheon down between him and Hyunwoo. 

“I don't trust you guys not to tickle me again,” Hoseok says. 

“It's just fun to tickle you,” Hyunwoo says. His arm drapes around Jooheon’s shoulders, and Jooheon is desperately trying to get the fierce blush he feels on his face to go away as he stares at the TV screen. 

“It's scary when I get tickled. What if I hurt you guys?” Hoseok whines. 

“You've never done it before,” Hyunwoo answers. 

“There’s a lot of things I've never done before, but that doesn't mean they’ll never happen,” Hoseok says. 

The pause that follows that statement is thick like cold syrup. All three of them feel it, so Jooheon feels it thrice. Three-fold. Stacked on top of each other and balanced on his head. 

Hyunwoo clears his throat before he reaches for the remote and pauses the movie. He leans forward in his seat and folds his hands together. 

“Okay, so we said we’d be better about communication,” Hyunwoo says. 

“We did,” Hoseok says tightly. 

“Right,” Hyunwoo says. 

_ “Talk for the love of God, Hoseok, just talk,”  _ Hyunwoo thinks. Jooheon blinks up at him, then turns to look at Hoseok. 

He’s bright red in a line that connects both his ears through his cheeks. 

_ “Shit,”  _ comes Hoseok’s thoughts.

“Right. Um. We’re dating now,” Hoseok says. 

Jooheon isn't dumb. He knows where this is going. But he still stares wide-eyed at Hoseok like he’s entirely naive and has no idea. 

He’s sure that doesn't actually help when he sees Hoseok’s blush darken even more. 

“Okay, yeah. I just get nervous. I don't want it to suddenly get weird,” Jooheon blurts out. 

Hoseok stares at him. Hyunwoo goes entirely still. Jooheon laughs a bit. 

“You guys are nervous too,” Jooheon says. 

“Well shit. I've never dated anyone before, and now I'm suddenly dating two people at once,” Hoseok says. 

“Literally no one understands you more than us two,” Hyunwoo says.

“We’re so insane. I just don't want someone to feel left out or--”

“I won’t as long as it's not some big secret. If you guys hook up or something, I think I'd be okay with it as long as you guys tell me. It'd be way worse if it's like behind my back and weird,” Jooheon says. 

“You think you’d be okay with it, but you don't know,” Hoseok says. 

“I know I don't feel weird at all if I see you guys kiss or cuddle without me,” Jooheon says. Even if that's a recent development, it’s true. Seeing Hoseok kiss Hyunwoo doesn't make him feel devastated or heartbroken. 

There isn't suddenly less love for him if they’re being physical.

“If I started feeling left out, I'd tell you guys,” Hyunwoo says softly. 

Worry suddenly hops straight out of Hoseok and onto Jooheon. 

“Do you feel left out?” Hoseok asks. 

Hyunwoo laughs a bit and shakes his head. “No. I just told you I'd tell you if I did.”

“Okay. Good,” Hoseok says. 

“Why are we so awkward? We’ve known each other forever,” Jooheon says. 

“We all lived the love from afar fantasy, and now we don't know how to actually do anything,” Hyunwoo answers. 

“Tragic, honestly,” Hoseok says.

Jooheon snorts. 

“You know, it's sad because everyone else on the team thinks we have like wild threesomes all the time,” Jooheon says. 

“Please tell me you’re joking,” Hyunwoo says, hiding behind his hands. 

“Nope. Only Changkyun knows that all we do is play Smash or watch movies or cuddle when we hang out together,” Jooheon says. 

Hoseok laughs and leans back on the couch. “Maybe we just need to break the ice once and then it'll be easier after,” he says. 

“Maybe,” Hyunwoo says. 

They all look at each other for a second. The heat significantly rises in the room. 

“Like...now?” Jooheon asks.

“No! No, of course not. We have to watch Twilight,” Hyunwoo says. 

“Right! I've never watched it before, and it felt like you'd break up with me if I didn't fix that soon,” Hoseok says. 

Jooheon laughs a bit. They truly are ridiculous, but he’s glad because he definitely doesn't feel ready right now for any of that. At least not right that second. 

“I wouldn't break up with you, but you really are on thin ice,” Jooheon says. Hoseok grins before he leans forward to kiss him again, soft and slow. Just a little peck. 

“Hey,” Hyunwoo says softly, and Jooheon looks over at him so Hyunwoo can plant a kiss on him too. 

They end up both laying against Jooheon while Jooheon holds them. They finish the movie and start the next one which Hoseok did not like nearly as much. 

And it's slightly easier to let Hoseok play with his shirt without getting too shy. It's slightly easier to let Hyunwoo’s kisses linger a bit. 

At least it isn’t awkward when they hold each other. When they end up crashing in Jooheon's slightly too small for the three of them bed, they don't mind piling up on top of each other to fit. 

Hoseok on top of Hyunwoo, Jooheon’s head on Hyunwoo's chest, and Hyunwoo’s arms wrapped around both of them. 

Their team was still picking up the pieces, but at least Jooheon had found something to hold onto in the mess. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

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	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hyunwoo smiles at them, soft and small, and just keep running his knuckles against their arms. Up and down. Up and down.

“Be safe, guys,” Minhyuk calls from outside the van. He's hugging himself and smiling, but his smile doesn't touch his eyes. 

“Be back soon,” Hyungwon calls back before he closes the door. He stares out the window at his boyfriend until they’re too far away to see him anymore. 

It's still always quiet in the van. Leaving Minhyuk behind is never very good for their morale. 

“Well, what’s the mission?” Kihyun asks. 

Hyunwoo sighs and flips through his folder. Jooheon leans his head on Hoseok's shoulder. 

“We are just going to give extra back-up to a police force on a drug bust,” Hyunwoo says. 

“If they asked for us to tag along, it has to be pretty big,” Changkyun says. 

“Sounds a lot like too many guns,” Hyungwon says. 

Hyunwoo frowns. “Unfortunately, yes. Which means I want all of you except for me, Hoseok, and Hyungwon to hang back on this one.”

“You going to be shielding every one?” Hoseok asks. 

“That's the plan. Kihyun, the police said they'd rather not have fire around because they don't know what kind of explosives are around.”

“Understood. Boring, but understood,” Kihyun says. 

“And Changkyun even if you could give us surveillance, I'd rather not risk it since the police are supposed to be all over this already,” Hyunwoo says. 

“Got it. I don't know why they invite us to these things,” Changkyun says. 

“I don't either, honestly. We basically do nothing,” Hyunwoo says before he drops the folder down. 

“Not nothing. They just want me and Hyungwon to move shit around, and Hyunwoo to protect them,” Hoseok says. 

“What am I supposed to do?” Jooheon asks. 

“Give us a way to complain,” Kihyun says. 

Jooheon snorts. “As fun as making my brain a fun place to hang out sounds, I think not.”

“No making my boyfriend’s brain a living room,” Hoseok chides. 

“I think you can just...read the room, I guess? We have our comms, and there's no need to be completely silent,” Hyunwoo says. 

Jooheon nods and leans back into the seat. He hates reading the room, but what can he do. Hoseok puts his arm around his shoulder, though, and that manages to make everything feel a bit easier. 

“How long are we going to be in here?” Hyungwon asks. 

“Three hours,” Changkyun answers. 

Hyungwon yawns and rubs his eyes. “Can I sleep, then? Didn't sleep much,” Hyungwon says. 

“Yeah. I'll wake you up thirty minutes out, though,” Hyunwoo says. 

“That's fine.” Hyungwon curls up in his corner seat and leans against the window. Jooheon can almost count the seconds down before Hyungwon’s thoughts and feelings become more muted as he falls asleep. 

“He must be exhausted,” Changkyun says softly as he reaches over to stroke at Hyungwon’s hair gently. 

“He is,” Jooheon says.

“Minhyuk told me they're both having issues sleeping lately,” Hyunwoo says. 

“I would too. Imagine getting told something’s wrong with you, and there’s nothing you can do about it,” Kihyun says. He touches Changkyun’s free hand. “Or that it's happening to your partner,” he adds. 

Hoseok’s arm tightens around Jooheon slightly. 

_ “I’ll fix it,”  _ Changkyun thinks as he fixes one last strand before leaning back against Kihyun. 

Jooheon considers saying something but decides to let it go. He taps Hoseok’s thigh to get him to shift a bit, so he can lie back against his broad chest. 

Hoseok kisses the side of his head before wrapping an arm around his middle. 

“You okay?” Hyunwoo asks, reaching over the back of his seat to brush his hand up Jooheon's arm. 

“Yeah. It's just always gloomy here now,” Jooheon says. 

“Yeah, I know,” Hyunwoo says. His knuckles keep brushing up Jooheon's arm and then down Hoseok's. 

“It's not your fault,” Hoseok says. 

“I know,” Hyunwoo answers, but he's trying to hide a slight frown behind his other arm. Jooheon reaches out and pokes his forehead to get him to stop furrowing his brows. 

Jooheon had realized that they had all taken Hyunwoo’s strength for granted. Whenever things went wrong, Hyunwoo stayed calm like a leader should. The only consolation he would ever get would be afterwards when everything was fine, and they all joked around or grabbed something to eat. 

None of those things happened anymore. Hyunwoo still stayed strong, but he didn't get the release anymore. The feeling that he did well and everything turned out fine. 

It was definitely weighing on him, and Jooheon could tell. Could feel it in the bursts of frustrations like static electricity making his hairs stand on end. In the quiet periods where Hyunwoo would retreat back into his mind for too long. In the guilt that oozed down his throat whenever Hyunwoo was talking to Minhyuk. 

He smooths his thumb over Hyunwoo's forehead gently. Watches the wrinkles there soften away as Hyunwoo's face relaxes just a bit. 

“You're doing the best you can,” Jooheon says softly. 

Something warm fills him up as Hyunwoo gives him a small smile. 

“Thank you.”

“You really are. You care so much,” Hoseok adds. He reaches out to rub his knuckles against Hyunwoo’s arm. 

Hyunwoo laughs a bit and moves to catch Hoseok’s hand in his. 

“I appreciate the pep talk, guys,” he says. 

“You do it all the time. You deserve to have one every once in a while,” Hoseok says. 

Hyunwoo smiles at them, soft and small, and just keep running his knuckles against their arms. Up and down. Up and down. 

They all take turns sleeping a bit longer because of the long ride, even if Hoseok and Jooheon had to mildly force Hyunwoo to sleep because he didn't think he should. 

When they finally arrive at their destination, a block away from where the police said to meet them, they give each other quick kisses before slipping out of the van. 

As soon as Jooheon's feet hit the pavement, he wishes they could go home already. In Hoseok’s arms, everything feels fine. Outside of that little haven, though, this feels wrong. Off. And maybe it doesn't help that when they meet up with the police it feels like there's way too many people there, and they’re all tense. 

He doesn't listen in to the briefing that the police chief gives Hyunwoo. He just stares around and shakes out his arms in an attempt to keep himself from getting tense.

“Basically, you three will be on perimeter duty. No fire though,” Hyunwoo says, pointing at Kihyun. 

“Got it. Fire powers off,” Kihyun responds with an eye-roll. 

“I know, I know. It shouldn't be too hard. The police barricades should keep the civilians out,” Hyunwoo says. 

“Be safe, yeah? Rule number one and all that,” Changkyun says. 

Hyunwoo pats his shoulder. “Always. You guys, too, okay? If anything is up, just tell one of the officers.”

“Got it,” Jooheon says. 

Hyunwoo looks at him and flashes him a smile before he walks off to talk to Hoseok and Hyungwon. 

“What if I turn invisible and just cuddle you instead?” Changkyun asks Kihyun. 

Kihyun smirks. “As much as I would enjoy that, I don't think Shownu would appreciate it.”

“Damn.”

“I’ll get the corner over there,” Jooheon says, nodding towards the end of the street.

“Okay. I’ll get that weird alley in the middle, and Pyre can get the other corner,” Changkyun says. 

“Sounds good. If you need anything,” Kihyun says, tapping his comm to life in his ear.

Jooheon and Changkyun nod and tap theirs to life before they all separate, going to their respective posts. 

Jooheon picked his because it was the quietest. There weren't as many people around, so not as much tension in the air. He leans back against the wall and glances around to find the intersection entirely empty. 

Sighing, he looks over to try to find where everyone else has gone off to. He kicks at pebbles beneath his feet. He tries to will the apprehension away. 

When it gets loud, actually loud, people yelling and blasting down doors, Jooheon moves closer to the actual corner, halfway on their street and halfway on the next. 

_ “What the fuck?” _

Jooheon blinks and looks up to see a young man walking up toward them. Jooheon frowns and walks toward him.

“Hey, sorry, you can’t come this way,” Jooheon says, smiling apologetically. 

The man is frowning now, taking in Jooheon's appearance. 

“Who the hell are you?”

“I’m working with the police to keep the street clear,” Jooheon answers.

“The police?” the man asks softly. 

Jooheon frowns as he feels panic coming from him. 

“Don’t worry, it isn't anything--”

_ “Fuck, they found them. Shit.” _

Jooheon blinks. This was definitely not good. 

“It isn’t anything huge,” Jooheon finishes quietly. 

The man looks him over again, licking his lips. “You’re one of those freaks aren't you? With powers?” 

Jooheon scoffs, not wanting to dignify that with an answer, but also not wanting him to get away. 

“Sure am,” Jooheon says. 

_ “Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck.” _

“I’ll just be on my way--”

“If you tell me where you’re heading, I can give you an alternate route,” Jooheon says, putting on his best smile. He steps closer to him and further away from everyone else. 

Everything moved so fast, so automatically, that Jooheon didn't process it until there was a gun pointed right at his chest, the man holding it starting to quiver. 

“You keep your mouth shut, or I'll shoot,” he says. Jooheon frowns and puts his hands up. 

“There’s no--”

“I said shut it!”

Jooheon huffs out a breath and bites down on his molars. The guy’s mind is a mess now. He didn't think any of this through, and now he’s threatening someone. 

Jooheon is about to call for Changkyun when he realizes he can't. Their suits are good at stopping bullets, but not from this close of a range, so calling over the comm is out of the question. 

And he would call out with his mind, except he hadn't focused in on him already. If he called out, it’d go to everyone nearby, including the person currently pointing a gun at him.

The man steps forward, even closer. He’s still shaking. 

“Now I don't know what kind of powers you have, but I don't like risks.” His voice shakes too. 

This isn't a hardened criminal. It's a kid with a gun. 

Jooheon considers going into his mind to figure him out, but the risk of not getting back out is too high. 

“You don't have to do this,” Jooheon whispers. 

“I said shut up! I'm trying to think.”

_ “Just shoot him. Just do it. Just pull the trigger and do it.” _

Jooheon licks his lips, panic licking up his spine. 

_ “What if he’s bulletproof? He doesn't seem worried. Shit shit shit, why did you pull out your gun.” _

Shaking palms and sweaty brow, and Jooheon still isn't closer to stopping him. He needs him to get closer to be in range to take his gun away from him, but he’s not budging from his spot. And if Jooheon moves, he knows he’ll get shot. 

They’re both trapped here in the middle of an empty street sidewalk, unable to commit. 

“Honey, you okay?” Changkyun’s voice comes in through the comm. 

The man’s panic flares, and he cocks his gun, moving his aim up from Jooheon’s chest to his head. 

“What was that?” he asks.

Jooheon swallows, staring at the gun. “My team asked if I was okay,” Jooheon answers. 

“Well, tell them you’re fine.”

Jooheon stares at him for a moment before reaching up to tap at his comm again. 

“Hey, M.I. I’m fine. Just around the corner keeping an eye out,” Jooheon says. 

A beat. 

“Roger that,” Changkyun says back. 

He looks back up at the man, who seems to be considering what just happened.

“Doesn't seem like you signaled him.”

Jooheon shakes his head. 

The man takes a deep breath and steadies his hand. 

_ “I’m sorry.” _

Jooheon’s eyes widen as the man shuts his eyes and starts pulling the trigger. 

A gunshot rings out, and Jooheon flinches.

_ “Fuck,”  _ comes Changkyun’s thoughts. 

The man is staring at his own arm, eyes wide. Jooheon sucks in a breath before he runs toward him, tackling him down to the ground. 

“I.M.?” Jooheon asks once he has kicked the gun away and has a hold on the man’s arms.

Changkyun rematerializes a few feet away, and Jooheon’s eyes search him for any wounds, but he’s fine. 

“I’m fine, Honey. Your arm.”

Jooheon blinks and looks down. The bullet must have just grazed him, blood dripping down his left bicep.

It doesn't hurt until then. Until Jooheon is looking right at it. It burns like hell and stings like any cut, but there doesn’t seem to be any huge damage. 

“Shit,” he says. 

“Fuck, Honey,” Changkyun says, and his voice is shaking the tiniest bit. 

_ “I’m okay. I’m fine. Go get an officer, and we can deal with that later.” _

Changkyun nods as he runs off, talking on his comm. 

The man keeps squirming beneath Jooheon, but he’s not going anywhere. A few moments later a police officer comes with handcuffs, and Jooheon lets him take over before he slumps onto the ground, leaning against the building and cradling his arm. 

“Let me look,” Changkyun says, squatting down in front of him. Someone has given him a first aid kit, and Jooheon almost laughs at how ridiculous it is when he knows there are paramedics on stand-by for this. 

It stings when Changkyun swipes an antiseptic wipe over and around the wound, and Jooheon's whole arm feels like it’s burning up. 

“It just barely broke the skin, but it definitely burned the skin a bit,” Changkyun says. 

“Gross,” Jooheon manages. He’s looking away from his arm, not wanting to see. 

“I know, but bullets are like freakishly hot,” Changkyun says. 

“So what's the damage here?”

“Burn cream? I don't think you’ll need stitches,” Changkyun says. 

Jooheon sighs and finally looks over at his cleaned up arm as Changkyun digs through the first aid kit for some bandages. 

The suit definitely took the worst of it. It isn't as bad as it could be. It’s wide and burned, but not deep. It’s still weeping a bit with blood, and Changkyun wipes it up again before putting bandages on it and wrapping gauze around his arm. 

“You shouldn't have to do this. There’s paramedics,” Jooheon says. 

“You know how they are. Act like we’re a different species,” Changkyun says. 

“Did I miss anything?” Jooheon asks.

“Missed everything. The whole thing.” Changkyun bites his lip for a moment as he rips the gauze and sticks it into place. “Hyunwoo and Hoseok don't know yet.”

Jooheon leans his head back against the building. 

“That's fine, I guess.”

“They're going to freak out.”

“Oh, I'm aware.”

Changkyun snorts. “Thank God we’ve practiced that code before. Thank God I noticed you reversed it.”

Jooheon reaches up with his unhurt arm and rubs at his face. 

“Thank God you got here so fast,” Jooheon says. 

Changkyun sighs and squeezes his right shoulder. “I was thinking the same thing.”

“A second later and I--”

“It doesn't matter,” Changkyun says, shaking his head. “You’re fine, it doesn't matter.”

Jooheon sighs and holds his hand out to be helped up. His arm is throbbing, but it’s manageable. Nothing like the headaches he’s grown used to. He and Changkyun walk back over, and the atmosphere is a lot less tense. 

There are people in handcuffs, and bags of what Jooheon assumes are drugs being carted out of the little storefront they had raided. Hoseok and Hyungwon are helping with that valiant effort. 

Kihyun walks over and stops himself short of hugging Jooheon, his eyes on the bandages. 

“Shit, Honey,” Kihyun says. 

“I’m fine,” Jooheon says again. It feels like it's the only thing cycling through his mind. 

_ I’m fine, I'm fine, I'm fine.  _

“Shownu is being praised by the police chief, right now,” Kihyun says. 

“Best if I just hang back then. Don't want to ruin his moment,” Jooheon says. 

Kihyun clicks his tongue. “You need to tell him sooner rather than later.”

Jooheon sighs. “I just want to head back to the van and lie down.”

Kihyun seems to consider this. He looks over at Changkyun. 

“I’ll go with him,” Changkyun says.

Kihyun looks around. “We are basically done,” he says. 

“I can wait if you need me,” Jooheon says. 

Kihyun shakes his head. 

“Go. I'll take the heat if anyone complains,” he says. 

Changkyun turns invisible, and then Kihyun grins a bit, sticking his cheek out a bit. 

Changkyun appears again, smile on his face. 

“Come on, Honey, let’s go rest.”

They start walking, and once they’re out of earshot of the dozens of police officers, Jooheon turns to Changkyun. 

“Did you turn invisible just to kiss your boyfriend on the cheek?” Jooheon asks.

“PDA isn't allowed on missions, but he deserved a kiss. What else am I supposed to do?” Changkyun asks. 

Jooheon laughs. 

“Ridiculous.”

“Please. I know you're dying to kiss Hyunwoo and Hoseok whenever they do something on these missions,” Changkyun says. 

“Maybe.”

“How is that going by the way?”

“I just got shot at, and you’re trying to gossip,” Jooheon says. They walk up to the van, and Changkyun presses his hand to the side before the door comes unlocked. He holds it open for Jooheon to get in.

“Listen, if I start thinking about you getting shot, I'll start crying. Like snot-crying. And I know neither of us want that,” Changkyun says. 

“True.”

Jooheon lays across the back row of seats and sighs as Changkyun gets the van started so the air conditioning can run. His arm hurts, but he’s trying not to think about it. If he did, it’d be all his thoughts. 

“So? How's it going?” Changkyun asks from the second row, peeking over the back of the chair at Jooheon. 

Jooheon grins a bit. “Good?”

“Just good?”

“Well, it's still a bit awkward sometimes, but other than that it's great.”

“So you guys still haven't…”

Jooheon bites his lip. “Nope. We’ve made out, though.” 

Changkyun snorts. “Okay, that's something at least.”

“They’re both...really good kissers,” Jooheon muses. 

Changkyun smiles. “I’m glad.”

“What about you and Ki?”

“Oh, we’re great.”

“Are you going to finally use the l-word?”

Changkyun smiles. “Maybe. I just want it to be special, you know? Like he’ll remember forever the first time I told him I loved him.”

“I’m sure he would even if there aren't any fireworks in the background,” Jooheon says. 

“Okay, yes, but if it's extra cool, then he’ll especially remember it. He’ll tell everyone about it forever.”

“Has he said it to you?”

“Of course not. If he said it first, I'd have to say it back. I can't lie like that,” Changkyun says. 

Jooheon laughs. “Understandable.”

“That’d be so mean to him, oh my God,” Changkyun says, chuckling a bit. He looks over Jooheon's arm and sighs. 

“I wish we had ice packs,” he says.

“We never kept them around since--” Jooheon stops himself, but Changkyun nods. 

“Since we had Minhyuk,” Changkyun finishes for him. 

If Minhyuk had been here, Jooheon's bandages would have had a thin layer of ice on them to keep down the swelling. He wouldn't have even let it melt any to keep the bandages dry. 

Changkyun sighs again and presses his mouth to the inside of his elbow. 

“There just has to be a way to test him,” Changkyun says to himself. 

“You need to stop putting this all on yourself, Changkyun. It's not your fault,” Jooheon says. 

“I know. And I know it's not my responsibility, but I can't help but feel like it is. Like I can help.”

“Changkyun--”

“I’m good at seeing what no one else does.”

“I know.”

“And if I just keep looking at it...maybe I'll find a solution.”

Jooheon looks up at him, knowing there's nothing he can say to make Changkyun stop thinking that way. He lets it go. 

There’s a knock on the van door before it opens. Jooheon barely has time to sit up before Hoseok and Hyunwoo are scrambling for the back seat to look at him. 

Their worry smacks him right in the face. Heavy and tingly across his forehead. 

“Honey,” Hoseok says softly, a pout on his face.

Jooheon makes room for them in the back, and then he realizes everyone is staring at him. Even Kihyun and Hyungwon in the seat in front of him are turned around to look at him. 

“I’m fine, guys. Really. It's just a little nick,” Jooheon says. 

“You got shot,” Hyunwoo deadpans. 

“I got  _ grazed _ ,” Jooheon corrects lightly. 

Hoseok’s eyes are teary, and Jooheon frowns, reaching out to poke his chest. Hoseok takes his hand and squeezes it.

“When Ki told us you got hurt--” Hoseok stops, glancing around, and he suddenly realizes all the attention is on them. He sighs. 

_ “I was so scared,”  _ Hoseok thinks at him.

Jooheon nods and smiles a bit. 

“I’m fine. Changkyun said I don't even need stitches.”

“This was the worst. Let's go home,” Hyungwon says, turning away to climb to the front to make the van start. 

“How’d it go?” Jooheon asks. 

“It was a success, I guess,” Hyunwoo mumbles. 

“Got way too many drugs. Arrested lots of people. You know how it is,” Hoseok says. He’s still kneading Jooheon's hand in his. He sniffs a bit before he pulls it up and kisses the back of it. 

Jooheon exhales slow, feeling himself relax a bit. He leans forward and kisses Hoseok's cheek before carefully laying his head on his shoulder. 

Hoseok doesn't wrap his arm around him for obvious reasons, but he leans his head on his. 

“I can't believe you got hurt,” Hyunwoo says. He’s leaning all the way forward, his forehead against the back of the seat in front of them. He feels closer that way. 

“It happens sometimes,” Jooheon says.

Hyunwoo frowns at that and reaches out to stroke his cheek a bit with his thumb. 

_ “I don't want it to ever happen,”  _ he thinks. But with the way his eyes widen, it doesn't feel like he meant to share that. Jooheon just grins at him. 

“I’ll be more careful next time,” he says. 

“You better,” Hoseok says. Jooheon feels Hoseok press kisses to the top of his head, and it makes him melt a bit inside. 

+++

The wound on Jooheon's arm burns and stings for a week before it finally mellows out. Minhyuk comes by to check on it, and guilt seeps from him too. Everyone blaming themselves for things they can’t help. 

It isn't bad enough to get Jooheon a leave, and they're busy. A week full of missions everyday, and no matter what time it is, Minhyuk will be down in the locker room to meet them, and in the garage to say goodbye, and when they get back Minhyuk is still there, waiting to say hello. 

He doesn't count them off in his head anymore, but he definitely looks them all over. Jooheon decides he’ll take what he can get in minor improvements. 

Hyunwoo and Hoseok get clingier. They sleep together every night now, piled up on one of their beds, a mess of tangled limbs and slightly snoring breaths. 

A few more weeks go by like that, and Jooheon thinks his new scar really isn't that bad, and Hoseok makes a point to press his lips against it every time it shows. 

The seven of them finally have a day off, so they decide to have a day in, playing video games and eating snacks in Hyunwoo’s room when Hyunwoo gets called away. 

They don't pay much mind to it. They go back to watching Changkyun beat everyone at Mario Kart.

“How do you always win?” Hyungwon groans as he falls behind in the race. 

“Skill,” Changkyun says without looking away. 

“It’s the tongue,” Kihyun says. 

“Ew, what does that have to do with anything?” Minhyuk says. 

“He sticks his tongue out when he’s concentrating,” Kihyun says. 

“You know what, I'll just keep my mouth shut,” Minhyuk says. 

“Can you get your mind out of the gutter?” Kihyun says before he elbows Minhyuk. 

“We are having a nice family-friendly time, and you start talking about your boyfriend’s tongue, hothead.”

“That is not inherently sexual!”

“It is when I know where his tongue has been,” Minhyuk grumbles. 

“Can we stop talking about my tongue?” Changkyun asks, his whole body disappearing. 

“Keep going, he’s falling behind,” Hyungwon says. The television disappears, then, much to Hyungwon’s dismay. 

“You can't cheat!” Hyungwon says, and then Changkyun’s controller flies out of his hands onto the bed. 

“Hey!” Changkyun yells, and he appears then to make his complaint directly to Hyungwon's face. 

Hoseok sighs and buries his face in Jooheon’s chest. 

“How can you deal with this mess?” Hoseok asks. 

Jooheon smiles and pets his shoulder. “This is the only mess I'm willing to deal with, actually.”

It may be chaos, but it’s a happy chaos. Everyone bickering but everyone loving each other. 

Family. 

“Cute,” Hoseok says before he moves up to kiss Jooheon's cheek. He’s laying against Jooheon, curled up as small as he can possibly be. Jooheon just holds him and laughs when the controllers are floating in the air as Hyungwon and Changkyun poke at each other to make the other give up first. 

“You’re both being silly now,” Kihyun says as he slides off the couch and scoots up behind Changkyun to wrap his arms around him. 

“He started it,” Hyungwon says, pouting. 

“Put the controllers down, babe,” Minhyuk says, leaning forward to fix a few hairs that are sticking up on the back of Hyungwon's head. 

“Don’t tell me  _ you two  _ are pretending to be the mature and responsible ones,” Changkyun says. 

“Oh, here we go,” Hoseok says softly. 

“Hey, kid. We definitely are,” Minhyuk says. 

“You two were arguing about a tongue,” Hyungwon says, frowning at Minhyuk. 

“I definitely am mature,” Kihyun says. 

Changkyun narrows his eyes at him. 

“You laugh at duty jokes.”

Kihyun snorts. “And you don't?”

“I think we all do,” Minhyuk says. 

“Why are we like this?” Hyungwon asks. 

The controllers float back down gently to the ground, and then Changkyun scrambles for his. 

“I'm still going to win,” Changkyun says as his character starts zooming down the track. Hyungwon laughs as he picks up his own controller and takes off after him.

Minhyuk eventually slides off the couch to hug Hyungwon, too, his chin perched up on his shoulder. Everyone settles together, and Jooheon hums a bit as he squeezes Hoseok closer. He wishes Hyunwoo was here, so their little family portrait was complete. 

Everything is perfect until he feels frustration surge through the bottom of the door. Little shocks up Jooheon’s back. He turns to look, and the door doesn’t open until the frustration gets shoved down and away. 

Hyunwoo walks back in, and he just looks tired. Exhausted, even. But he puts on a smile when everyone greets him, and he walks over to sit on Hoseok's other side. 

“Hey,” Jooheon says, looking at him.

Hyunwoo looks at him and shakes his head before he leans over and pulls on Hoseok's shirt.

He never asks out loud, but Hoseok and Jooheon have learned to understand what he’s asking for by now. 

Hoseok pulls himself out of Jooheon’s arms, giving him another kiss on the cheek before he switches sides to just lay against Hyunwoo instead. 

Hyunwoo hugs him tight and sighs a little. 

_ “You okay?”  _ Jooheon asks him. 

Hyunwoo looks up at him.  _ “I’ll tell you guys tonight. It’s fine, though.” _

Jooheon nods and moves closer to put his arm around both of his boyfriends. 

“You guys are like grossly cuddly,” Kihyun says. 

“And?” Hoseok says, rubbing his cheek against Hyunwoo’s for good measure. 

“It's just so weird sometimes still,” Kihyun says. 

“I think it's cute,” Changkyun says.

“Yeah, I don't know how you can say that when you and Changkyun literally never separate,” Minhyuk says. 

“We have this argument at least once a week. All of us are clingy, can we move on?” Hyungwon asks.

“I agree with Hyungwon,” Hyunwoo says. 

“What you get called out for?” Minhyuk asks. 

Hyunwoo shakes his head and smiles. “Nothing important. Just administrative things,” he says. 

Jooheon frowns. If it had been a big deal he would’ve told the whole team. But if it wasn't a big deal, he shouldn't have felt so upset afterwards. 

“Lame,” Changkyun says. 

“Yeah,” Hyunwoo says. 

Jooheon tries to push it out of his mind since they’re having a good time. But he notices how Hyunwoo keeps clutching at them like it's the only thing that's making him feel better. Squeezing them close and kissing them more than he usually does. 

It isn't until everyone leaves late at night, that Hyunwoo finally slumps and rubs at his face. 

“Okay, what happened?” Jooheon asks. 

Hyunwoo looks up at Jooheon and Hoseok from the couch and frowns. 

“They tried to talk me into adding someone to the team,” Hyunwoo says. 

The world stills a bit. 

“What?” Hoseok asks. 

“It's not happening. But yeah. Trying to argue about how our team works because we’ve known each other for so long and how it'd be so awkward to add someone new was more exhausting than it should be,” Hyunwoo says. 

Jooheon sighs and walks over and grabs his face. 

“It’s because you're exhausted to begin with,” he says. 

Hyunwoo looks at him with big eyes before he pulls away a bit. 

“I'm fine,” he says. 

“I know, but you’re stressed. It's okay to say you’re stressed, you know,” Jooheon says softly. Hoseok sits down next to Hyunwoo and hugs him. 

“You can talk to us about all that. It's hard to be the leader,” Hoseok says. 

“I don't need to make you guys stressed too,” Hyunwoo says. 

“You being stressed literally makes me stressed. When you talk about it, you get less stressed,” Jooheon says. 

Hyunwoo frowns. “I know.”

“So talk,” Hoseok says, poking at Hyunwoo’s cheek. 

Hyunwoo chuckles a bit before he puts an arm around him. He reaches his other arm out for Jooheon, and Jooheon doesn't know how he ends up sitting on his lap, but he knows that Hyunwoo isn’t letting him go any time soon. 

“It's just a lot. We make more mistakes without Minhyuk. Not anything huge, but it's enough to bother me. And then I worry about Minhyuk and Hyungwon. And then I worry about everyone.”

“You're in charge because you worry,” Jooheon says.

“We all worry. But you gotta just move forward. We can't figure anything out if we just worry all the time,” Hoseok says. 

“Minhyuk is colder than usual. Have you guys noticed? It's winter now, so he hides it in his hoodies and stuff, but his hands are freezing,” Hyunwoo says.

Jooheon hadn’t noticed, and by the slight shock the flicks at him, he knows Hoseok hadn't either. 

“Isn't that dangerous?” Hoseok asks. 

Hyunwoo shrugs. “He says it's fine. That apparently the doctors said it might happen if he goes through a period of depression, but it won't affect his heart, so whatever, right?” 

Jooheon feels it again. Sparks of frustration. He leans against Hyunwoo and kisses his forehead. 

“Unfortunately, right now, that's something Minhyuk has to deal with. We can get him help, but we can't just make everything magically better,” Jooheon says. 

“At least not really. Sometimes it feels like we can,” Hoseok says. 

Hyunwoo laughs a bit and nuzzles against Hoseok’s head. “I guess it can.”

Jooheon smiles. “Anything else?”

Hyunwoo shakes his head and squeezes them closer. 

“Thank you. I feel a little better,” he says. 

Hoseok hums and kisses his cheek softly. Hyunwoo turns to look at him, and then Hoseok kisses him again. 

Jooheon bites his lip as he slides off Hyunwoo's lap to sit on his other side. Hyunwoo pulls away and looks at him, his cheeks turning pink.

“Sorry,” Hyunwoo says. 

“No, don't apologize,” Jooheon says before he pecks Hyunwoo's cheek. 

A thrill gets sent up Jooheon's back that surely isn't his, and he looks over at Hoseok. 

“What?” Jooheon asks.

“Oh. Um. I was just. Thinking,” Hoseok says lamely.

Hyunwoo laughs a bit. “I'm sure he of all people knows that.”

Jooheon smiles. “Sure do.”

Hoseok laughs and shakes his head. “No, it's not...It's whatever.”

Jooheon tries to reimagine the feeling that shot up his spine. What it felt like. 

“Oh,” Jooheon says. 

Hoseok’s ears are turning red. “Honey, don’t.”

Jooheon shrugs. “Why not?”

“Are guys talking telepathically, or am I just out of the loop?” Hyunwoo asks. 

But Hoseok is just staring at Jooheon. “Why not?” He asks back. 

Jooheon licks his lips and shrugs again. “We have technically been dating for almost two months now. And I know you’re just waiting for me.”

Jooheon can feel realization hit Hyunwoo then. 

“Oh,” he says. 

Hoseok laughs. “I just. You know. Stress-relief.”

Jooheon grins. “No, yeah, that usually works.”

“How do we…” Hoseok starts. 

Hyunwoo looks back and forth between them. Jooheon looks at him. And then he clears his throat. 

He decides he should start easy. 

“We just...see where it goes?” Jooheon says. 

“Okay. Then go,” Hoseok says. 

He leans in and kisses Hyunwoo, slowly brushing their lips together. Hyunwoo wraps his arm around Jooheon's middle and pulls him closer, but he can’t pick him up like Hoseok can. Jooheon keeps kissing Hyunwoo as he reaches over toward Hoseok. 

Hoseok takes his hand gently, not knowing what to do, and Jooheon pulls away. 

“What are you cool with?” he asks Hyunwoo bites his lip and presses his forehead against Jooheon's. 

“If you guys don't want to--”

“I definitely do,” Hoseok says. 

Hyunwoo laughs a bit and leans back into the couch. 

“Maybe not full-on sex,” Hyunwoo says. 

“Okay. Then what?” Jooheon asks. 

Hyunwoo shrugs. “What...do you guys wanna do?”

Hoseok and Jooheon look at each other. 

Awkward. This is so awkward. 

But they all want this, so they have to jump over the hurdle eventually. 

Hoseok takes a deep breath like he's about to dive into a pool. 

“I just want to get you off,” he says quickly. 

Jooheon's eyes widen.

Hurdle number one was definitely cleared. 

Hyunwoo laughs a little, a bit breathless. “Um, yeah. Sure. You can do that. However you want.”

Hoseok bites his lip and looks back over at Jooheon. “What about you?” 

Jooheon knows his face must be bright pink. He hasn't thought about it, honestly. 

“I’m just...going to start here,” Jooheon says, moving his hand over Hyunwoo's face. 

Hoseok and Hyunwoo laugh as Hyunwoo catches his wrist to kiss his hand. 

“Sure,” Hyunwoo says. And then he tugs Jooheon closer to kiss him again. Jooheon sighs against him and kisses back. 

He loves the way Hyunwoo kisses him. Like he’s precious. Like he's the most lovely thing on Earth. Like he can't get enough of him. He follows after him and kisses slow like he’s savoring it. 

He pushes his hand up slightly under Jooheon's shirt and just rests his hand against the small of his back. 

Hoseok has let go of Jooheon's hand and has moved to kiss at the other side of Hyunwoo’s neck, and his hands are everywhere. On Hyunwoo. On Jooheon. Like he doesn't know what exactly to do with himself. 

Jooheon pulls away to breath and moves down to kiss at Hyunwoo’s neck. Hoseok takes Hyunwoo’s lips in his place, and suddenly Hoseok knows what to do with himself again. 

Jooheon watches as he keeps kissing Hyunwoo’s neck and shoulder. Watches as Hoseok reaches down and rubs his hand down the front of Hyunwoo's jeans. 

“Can I…?” He asks, a bit breathless. 

“Yeah,” Hyunwoo answers before he kisses Hoseok again, and Jooheon feels his insides turn to goo. 

Hoseok undoes Hyunwoo’s jeans quick, and then he tugs on them a bit. 

“If you don’t want me to accidentally rip these apart, you should get up,” Hoseok says. 

“Oh, right,” Hyunwoo says. He hesitates though, squeezing Jooheon close again like he doesn't want to move away. Eventually, he just pushes them down himself, frowning. 

“Thanks,” Hoseok mumbles before he runs a curious hand over the tent in Hyunwoo's boxers. 

Jooheon realizes that he’s not entirely used to feeling other people's pleasure. He’s not really ready for the tight feeling that spreads all over his lower back and stomach. 

“Oh my God,” Jooheon whispers out. Hoseok and Hyunwoo turn to look at him. 

“You okay?” Hyunwoo asks. 

Jooheon blinks. “Yeah. I’m good,” he says. 

“You sure?” Hoseok says. 

“Positive.”

Hoseok looks at him for a second before he reaches back down to touch Hyunwoo again. Hyunwoo tilts Jooheon's face toward him before he leans in to kiss him again. 

Hyunwoo’s breathing harder now, and his touches are more urgent as he pulls Jooheon closer. 

When Jooheon reaches out again, feeling for Hoseok, he doesn't find him sitting next to Hyunwoo anymore. He pulls away to look for him, only to find him sitting on the ground, slotting himself between Hyunwoo’s legs. 

“Let me touch you?” Hyunwoo asks softly. 

Jooheon looks at him and nods, pushing himself up a bit on his knees, so he can get closer to him. 

Hyunwoo wraps an arm around his hips  and leans close to kiss at his jaw. 

The next wave of sparks and heat spreads across his body before Hyunwoo even touches him. Hyunwoo’s grip tightens on his hip, and he curses softly. 

When Jooheon glances down, he sees Hoseok looking back up at them. Eyes wide. Lips around Hyunwoo. 

Hurdles definitely cleared. 

Hyunwoo pulls Jooheon's sweatpants and boxers down all at once, and Jooheon doesn't even have time to feel naked before Hyunwoo wraps his hand around him. 

And there really is something about having someone else touch you. It feels so different from touching yourself. 

Jooheon moans, his eyes shutting as Hyunwoo kisses him again. 

_ “Fuck _ .”

Sparks were flying all inside his chest as Hyunwoo tugged at him. His feelings and Hyunwoo's and Hoseok’s, bursting and colliding somewhere inside him.

Hyunwoo pulls away, bowing his head and laying it against Jooheon's shoulder. 

“Shit,” he hisses out. 

Jooheon wraps his arms around Hyunwoo if only to steady himself as Hyunwoo moves his hands faster on him. 

Hyunwoo grips tight against him as he moans, his hands stuttering. 

It's blinding, pleasure. Bright and sudden and tingly. He doesn't know where it's coming from first. From him, from Hyunwoo, from Hoseok. He’s not trying to shake their feelings off, so it all gets jumbled up. 

Jooheon didn’t last very long past then, and the world is deafening and silent at the same time. It rings around Jooheon's ears but doesn't register. 

The first thing that does register is love. It's there in the way Hyunwoo keeps holding him even as his hands shake just the tiniest bit. It’s there in Hoseok’s lips as he kisses at his hip bone. It’s all around him in their feelings. For him, for each other. Everywhere. 

“You okay, Honey?” Hyunwoo asks softly. 

Jooheon opens his eyes and takes deep breaths. 

“Great. Fantastic even,” Jooheon says. 

Hyunwoo and Hoseok laugh. 

“That's good,” Hoseok says. He brushes Jooheon's bangs up out of his face before he gets up on slightly shaky legs. Somewhere along the way he has lost his pants too, left in his shirt and a slightly soiled pair of boxers. 

“Bed?” Hyunwoo asks as he slowly loosens his grip around Jooheon's middle. 

“Yeah, just let me...get stuff to clean up,” Hoseok says. 

Jooheon glances down. He has definitely ruined Hyunwoo’s shirt. 

“Fuck. I'm sorry,” Jooheon says. 

“It's fine. It's just a t-shirt,” Hyunwoo says. He stands up and pulls his shirt off over his head to toss it in his hamper.

“One blowjob, and you stop being shy. Noted,” Hoseok says. 

Jooheon laughs, but he realizes they all kind of are less shy. Standing around in various stages of undress.

“Yeah, well. If you need boxers you can borrow some from me,” Hyunwoo says as he walks over to his cabinet. He finally fixes his own boxers before tossing a pair to Hoseok.

“Can I get a shirt to sleep in?” Jooheon asks. 

Without turning, Hyunwoo tosses him one, and Jooheon takes it. He pulls shirt off and tugs Hyunwoo's on. It isn't that much bigger, but it feels like it. Soft and big. He kicks his sweatpants off and pulls his boxers back up. 

They spend the rest of the night giggly. Not shy but relieved. Like they couldn't quite believe it happened.

The next morning when Jooheon goes back to his room still wearing Hyunwoo’s shirt and a slight flush across his cheeks, Changkyun shrieks because he just knows. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

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	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> New Year, same team.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're reaching the end here, everyone.

Jooheon swallows as he looks across the room at where Hoseok is sitting. He’s tapping his foot idly as he smiles back at him, barely paying attention to Dr. Jung as she puts monitors all over him. His temples, his chests. 

At least he’s not getting strapped into anything like they did to Minhyuk. Jooheon doesn't think he'd be able to handle this if he was. 

“You okay? You look pale,” Hyunwoo says next to him. He squeezes the nape of Jooheon’s neck gently. 

Jooheon looks at him. “I do?”

“Yeah. You worried?”

“I mean, yeah.”

“You've already done it twice before. You slept after, but we’re used to that,” Hyunwoo says. 

“I didn't mean to do it the first time. I  _ had  _ to do it the second time. And I don't even know how I did it.”

“Well, this time it’s a less stressful situation. And you’re here to figure that out.”

Hoseok gives him a thumbs-up from across the way, and Jooheon pouts in response. 

The whole concept is strange, trying to control someone's mind. Change it from the inside out. 

“Okay, if anything happens, use whatever system you have with Hyunwoo to get him to pull you out,” Dr. Jung says. 

Jooheon squeezes Hyunwoo’s hand, and he squeezes back. 

System in place. 

“If you don't come out after three minutes,” Dr. Jung says, holding up three fingers to emphasize her point, “I'll pull you out myself if I have to.”

Jooheon nods. “Got it.”

“Great. Now, Hoseok--”

“Yes?”

“I’m going to need you to be happy. Actively fight to be happy, okay?” she says. 

Hoseok smiles. “I can do that.”

“Good. If at any point, you need this to stop, tell me. Shake your head, speak, scream,  _ think _ . Anyway you can.”

Hoseok's smile falters for a moment, and he clears his throat. He sits up straighter and nods. 

“Okay.”

Jooheon cringes. He doesn't want Hoseok afraid. Especially not because of him. 

“Jooheon, you know what I told you. Just follow those instructions,” she says. 

Jooheon nods. He wishes he was doing the opposite of what he was instructed, but here they are. 

“Whenever you’re ready,” Dr. Jung says. 

“Go ahead,” Hoseok says. 

Jooheon sighs and stares right at Hoseok’s smiling face. 

Deep breath. Veil off. 

Happy. Hoseok’s happy. Jooheon eases into it like a warm bath. Familiar and relaxing. 

And then he sees what’s making him so happy. All the flickers of memories he’s bringing up. The talks around the fire. Their first kisses. Cuddling on the couch. Watching cartoons together. Kissing. 

More than kissing. 

He doesn't know how to work with this. 

With Minhyuk, he was drowning. He was fighting for life. 

Here, he’s floating. 

He was trying to fix it with Minhyuk. With Hoseok, there’s nothing to fix. 

He’s there to fuck it up. 

Hoseok isn't an ocean. He’s clouds. Bright and full ones that make him want to jump on them even if he knows he wouldn't actually bounce. 

Another deep breath, and he’s walking through the clouds. Such pretty happy things. 

Jooheon almost feels sick as he wills them to darken. 

Dr. Jung only gave him one emotion to try, and that was anger. 

There can't be anger without a storm, so a storm Jooheon has to be, and a storm he is. Dark and heavy and rolling in the pretty fluffiness of the clouds. 

Hoseok has always been sensitive. He pouts if he sees anyone frown. If someone smiles, he smiles along. 

If dark clouds roll in, thunder sounds soon after. 

“Honey, come back.”

Jooheon feels bad in this storm he made, but that only makes it worse.

“Come on, Jooheon, come back to us.”

He opens his eyes, and Hyunwoo is holding his face, thumbs rubbing gently at his temples. 

Jooheon feels his lips trembling, and then he sees Hyunwoo frown as he looks over his face. 

“You did well, Jooheon. How are you feeling, Hoseok?” Dr. Jung says. 

“I’m fine. Still a bit…”

“Tense?” she provides.

Hyunwoo moves a bit, so Jooheon can see Hoseok, and he’s grateful that Hyunwoo always understands. 

Hoseok does look tense. His shoulders are up, and his jaw is set. His fingers keep drumming on his thighs. Hyunwoo has to tap Jooheon's shoulders for him to realize he’s gotten tense too. 

“Hey, stay here. You got the veil back on?” Hyunwoo asks softly. 

Jooheon nods, looking back at Hyunwoo. He can feel exhaustion clouding the edge of his vision. 

“I feel bad,” he says. 

“I know, Honey, but he signed up for this. And from out here it wasn't that bad. He just got all tense and frowny.”

“Frowny,” Jooheon deadpans. 

Hyunwoo grins. “He also grumbled something about having you make it up to him later.”

“In front of Dr. Jung?”

“He didn't give any specifics,” Hyunwoo says. 

“I didn't. That felt so weird,” Hoseok says as he walks up to them. Jooheon pouts up at him, and Hoseok pouts back. “No, don't do that,” he says, poking at Jooheon's lower lip. 

“I’m sorry,” Jooheon says. 

“Don't be. I'm fine. Not even a little bit annoyed now. How do you do that?” Hoseok asks. 

Jooheon blinks. “It's hard to explain. It’s like...I have to be whatever I wanted you to be.”

“So you have to be all mad?”

Jooheon clicks his tongue, trying to think of how to explain it. He ends up leaning forward and leaning his head against Hyunwoo’s shoulder. 

“With Minhyuk it was like he had an ocean in his head, so I became the ocean and made it still,” Jooheon says. 

“So with Hoseok you had to make it all angry again?” Hyunwoo asks.

Jooheon grins a bit. “Hoseok didn't have an ocean in his head.”

“Wait, so what--”

“You guys are free to go,” Dr. Jung says. 

Jooheon stands up slowly, and the exhaustion runs through him again. He sways in place for a moment, and then Hoseok’s arms are around him. 

“Okay, I'm carrying you. You need to rest,” Hoseok says. 

“I’m...fine.”

But his vision goes blurry again, and he slumps forward against Hoseok's strong body. 

“Sure. Come on,” he says. 

Jooheon's legs disappear from under him, but he doesn't fall. He's cradled against Hoseok's chest, and he doesn't have the energy to even pretend to be annoyed. 

“My room?” Hyunwoo asks. 

“Sure. What do you think was in my mind?”

“No clue.”

“Clouds,” Jooheon manages as he nuzzles closer against Hoseok. He knows they're moving because he’s rocking a bit, and that makes him feel even more tired. 

He doesn't stay awake for whatever Hoseok’s response to that is. 

+++

When he wakes up, he’s tucked into Hyunwoo's bed, the covers pulled all the way up to his ears. 

“Guys,” he calls softly, not moving any. 

“Well, at least now I know he's alive.”

Jooheon sits up to see Changkyun sitting one on the beanbags while Hoseok and Hyunwoo sit on the couch. 

“Hey,” Jooheon says, rubbing at his eyes. 

“I came to check on you since you were missing for like three days. I worry, you know,” Changkyun says. 

Jooheon pouts at him, and Changkyun pouts back.

“You disappear with Kihyun all the time,” Jooheon says. 

“Ah, but I text you where I am,” Changkyun counters. 

“It's not like we’re going to hurt him,” Hoseok says. 

“Of course not! But you know. Dick is hypnotizing.”

Jooheon chokes and sinks back into the bed, pulling the covers back up over his head. 

“Never say that again,” Jooheon groans. 

“It’s true! Good dick can make you forget what planet you’re on.”

“Please...shut up,” Jooheon hisses out. 

Hoseok and Hyunwoo on the other hand seem to be enjoying this little diatribe. Hyunwoo is grinning, and Hoseok is covering up his smile with his hand. 

“And I'm assuming, well, I mean, at least I’m  _ hoping _ that the dick is good,” Changkyun says. 

Jooheon leaps out of bed and covers Changkyun’s mouth with his hand, eyes all wide. 

“Changkyun, I love you, bro. I do. So much. Please, for me, stop talking,” Jooheon begs. 

Changkyun is giggling against his palm, but he nods, so Jooheon lets him go and slumps against him. Changkyun hugs him and kisses his temple. 

“I heard you practiced your mind control thing. How'd it go?” he asks. 

“Fine, I think. I mean, I did it.”

“He did. It was weird for me, but it wasn't bad,” Hoseok says. 

“But he needs someone to get him out. If he’s not thinking about getting out, he just kind of stays there,” Hyunwoo says. 

“Maybe if you get used to it, we could talk to the Headmaster about letting Minhyuk back on the team. I mean, if you can calm him down at a moment’s notice…” Changkyun says. 

“I brought that up already. Apparently that's still too many variables,” Hyunwoo says. 

Changkyun sighs and lets Jooheon go. “Well, shit.”

“I know. I tried,” Hyunwoo says softly. 

Hoseok leans over and kisses Hyunwoo’s cheek. “You did try.”

Changkyun frowns and rubs his face before he gets up. 

“It's just so dumb. Like we did this for years and never had to worry about this,” Changkyun says. 

“I know,” Jooheon says. 

Changkyun sighs and looks at Jooheon. 

“Okay. Be safe and--”

Changkyun’s eyes get all wide, and he freezes. Jooheon leans back, feeling something familiar hit Changkyun. 

An idea. 

“Oh my God,” Changkyun whispers.

“What?” Hoseok says. 

Changkyun blinks down at Jooheon, a smile lighting up his face.

“I don't know why I didn't think of it before,” he says. 

“Think of what?” Jooheon asks, pulling at the cuff of Changkyun's jeans. 

Changkyun smiles brighter. 

“Maybe a way to fix it.”

Hope is a strange thing to feel. Like a fluttering moth behind his sternum. And it's mixed in with an apprehension that holds itself in the back of his throat. 

But he stands up, and so does Hyunwoo and Hoseok. 

“How?” Hyunwoo says.

“We need to prove that Minhyuk won't die if he freezes all the way through. That his organs can unfreeze without harming him. Like those frogs,” Changkyun says. 

“How the hell can we do that?” Hoseok asks.

Changkyun grins and grabs his shoulders before he runs out of the room. 

“Why is he always so cryptic?” Hyunwoo grumbles before following him out. 

“Probably comes from being invisible,” Jooheon says. 

They follow him all the way over to Hyungwon and Minhyuk’s room where he’s knocking on the door. 

“What’s going on?” Hyungwon says as he opens the door. From the way his eyes are half-closed, and his lips are puffy, Jooheon can tell he just woke up. 

“Is Minhyuk here?” Changkyun asks, already peeking around him.

“Yeah,” Hyungwon says, opening the door wider to let them in.

Minhyuk looks up at them from where he's sitting on the bed, watching something on his laptop. 

“Hey guys. What's up?” he asks, pausing whatever it was on his screen.

“Do you still have your appendix?” Changkyun asks. 

Minhyuk blinks at them, then back at Changkyun. “Um, I think so.”

Changkyun beams and turns around to look at them, pointing proudly at Minhyuk. 

“I can fix this,” he says. 

“Changkyun, kid. We love you, we do…” Jooheon says. 

“What are you talking about?” Hyungwon says. 

“Um, my appendix?” Minhyuk says. 

“Look! Okay, so he’s off the team because they think he might freeze his organs and die,” Changkyun says. 

A small panic rises in Hyungwon for a second before he tampers it down. Jooheon takes his hand and squeezes it. 

“Thanks for the reminder,” Minhyuk says. 

“But you have an organ we can freeze without hurting you to see if it'll go back to normal. Your appendix,” Changkyun says. 

Minhyuk blinks at him for a moment. Then his eyes widen as his hands touch his abdomen. 

“You’re...you’re serious.”

“In the 1800s, people used to freeze appendices to treat appendicitis. It didn't fix the appendicitis, but they could function and live with the frozen organ inside of them,” Changkyun explains. 

“But what if it doesn't go back to normal?” Minhyuk says.

Changkyun shrugs. “Then we remove it. You’ll have a scar, but it won't affect you in any other way.”

“But I won't...be on the team,” Minhyuk says. 

“You let us worry about that part,” Hyunwoo says. 

“But how can you check it?” Hyungwon asks. 

“I make it all invisible and see. That's the easiest part of this,” Changkyun says. 

“Could this...really work?” Minhyuk asks. 

“I know it's not the same tissue, but the principle is there,” Changkyun says. 

Fluttery. That's all hope is. A fluttery barely there thing in the center of a chest. 

Jooheon can't believe how hard they all have to cling to it. 

+++

“Alright, Mr. Lee. I know we haven't interacted very often before, but I'm glad you asked me to oversee this,” Dr. Jung says. 

Minhyuk shifts a bit uncomfortably in the seat in the training room. Jooheon knows he hates sitting there now after all the things he went through. 

At least this time, Hyungwon is next to him, holding his hand, instead of locked away in an observation room. 

“Well, Jooheon said you were really nice,” Minhyuk says. 

Dr. Jung smiles kindly. “I'm glad. Besides, I'm not here to do anything except observe and record, and in an emergency situation, move you to an operating room to have someone operate on you.”

Minhyuk nods and squeezes Hyungwon’s hand. 

“You won’t...strap me in?” he asks. 

“Nope! I will put a heart rate monitor on you, though.”

“I don't want to be strapped in.”

“You won't be, Mr. Lee,” Dr. Jung assures. 

Minhyuk bites his lip and looks up at Hyungwon. 

“I’ll be right here,” Hyungwon says softly. He reaches out and fixes Minhyuk’s bangs gently. Minhyuk smiles. 

“And I’ll be the one checking you!” Changkyun pipes up. 

“The rest of us will just be in the observation room,” Kihyun says. 

Minhyuk smiles at them. 

“Alright. I'm ready, then,” he says, turning to Dr. Jung. 

“Great. If you guys could please go to the observation room,” she says, turning to the rest of the team. 

Jooheon walks up and squeezes Minhyuk's hand.

_ “Good luck. We’re here no matter what happens,”  _ Jooheon thinks at him. Minhyuk nods at him and squeezes back. Jooheon leaves then, not wanting to accidentally listen in on anything else. 

The observation room feels colder than usual, but maybe that's just nerves. From this distance, they can’t really see what's happening, but there's a screen in there now that's showing them up close. Jooheon doesn't know if he could even watch.

“I feel like I'm more nervous than Minhyuk is,” Kihyun says. He plops down next to Jooheon and takes his hand because he doesn't have Changkyun there to comfort him, and they had all spent years comforting each other already. One hand is as good as any. 

Jooheon squeezes his hand.

“It'll be fine. No matter what,” Jooheon says because he has to believe it. Has to believe the weak little fluttering. 

“I tried to lobby Changkyun to let me stay in there. I could heat him up, you know?” Kihyun says. 

“We know, Ki,” Hoseok says as he sits on Jooheon's other side. Hyunwoo is standing in front of them right up against the viewing window. 

He's quiet because he's serious right now, and he's borderline silent in the best of times, and this certainly isn't the best of times. It's not even the okayest of times and so much rides on  _ Minhyuk’s appendix _ that it's borderline ridiculous.

But what else have they got at this point?

So Hoseok squeezes Jooheon's forearm gently because he's always terrified of being too strong physically, but never strong enough emotionally, and there's so much in the way the pads of his fingers press against the veins in Jooheon's arms, and Jooheon aches because Hoseok does. Too much love in his body to keep in. 

“Yuck,” Kihyun says. Jooheon turns to look at him. 

He's staring up at the screen, and Jooheon follows his gaze to see a video of Minhyuk's actual organs, and he looks away because he feels slightly sick. 

“That feels so...morbid,” Hoseok says, and he’s slightly horrified, too.

“I never want to see any of your organs, just for the record,” Kihyun says. 

“Noted,” Hoseok says. 

“He looks fine from here,” Hyunwoo says. Jooheon looks through the window, and he can see Hyungwon talking, so it can't be too bad. If Hyungwon can handle staring at his boyfriend’s insides, surely the rest of them can. 

“Do we even know if he can freeze specific organs?” Hoseok asks. 

“Well, he could freeze certain limbs and stuff, so maybe?” Kihyun says. 

Jooheon isn't looking because he doesn't think he can, but he can feel the change in everyone else when they see it happen. 

The worry spikes. The fascination and curiosity does too. Jooheon refuses to look despite that. 

Hoseok's fingers dig into his arm a bit, but Jooheon doesn't pull away. Kihyun’s palm is warmer than it should be, but it's not enough to burn. It just makes their palms weirdly sweaty, and Jooheon doesn't pull away from that either. 

“Come on, Minhyuk,” Hyunwoo says softly, and he’s so still he could almost be a statue. 

There's barely any time to focus on his own feelings or even know what they are. He just tries to focus on staying  _ there, _ not getting pulled in any direction. 

“His lips are blue,” Hyunwoo says, and Jooheon squeezes into Kihyun's too warm hand, and Kihyun squeezes back. 

“Hey, it’s okay,” Hoseok whispers before he kisses Jooheon’s cheek.

Jooheon looks at him and lays his head on Hoseok’s shoulder. Hoseok kissed the top of his head again.

“It’ll be okay,” Hoseok says softly. The pads of his fingers are still leaving little dips in Jooheon's arms, but he finds himself smiling because of them. 

“I know. It's just. A lot,” Jooheon says. 

“Guys,” Kihyun says, and he’s standing up, so Jooheon finally looks up, but all he sees is Minhyuk’s bare belly. 

Jooheon walks toward the window, and even from this far away he can see Minhyuk’s smile. 

“He’s fine,” Hyunwoo says. He wraps an arm around Jooheon's shoulder, and he’s smiling, and the words don't really set in until a few seconds later. 

“So...he could…”

“Maybe we can get him back on the team,” Hyunwoo says. 

When they all rush into the room, Minhyuk is laughing. Changkyun is too. And Hyungwon looks so relieved. Like he can finally take a full breath again. 

Like the threat of Minhyuk one day freezing to death was heavier on him than they had ever known. 

“He did great. Appendix fully froze, and then went back to normal. No frostbite or anything. They might ask to do further testing, but I’ll vouch for at least getting him training with the team again,” Dr. Jung says to Hyunwoo as she hands him a folder. 

“Thank you,” Hyunwoo says. 

“I’ll leave you guys, then. Make sure you rest up, Mr. Lee,” she calls. 

“I will!” Minhyuk calls back. 

“Good. Let me know if you need anything,” she says. She shoots a smile at Jooheon before leaving the room. 

“Good job, kid,” Kihyun says. 

“Kid, he says. We’re the same age,” Minhyuk says. 

Kihyun smiles and holds his hand out to help him up, fingers already red. Minhyuk smiles wider and takes his hand with blue fingers, and it sizzles as he gets up. 

Jooheon smiles. 

Some things truly never change. 

+++

“We’re fucking insane. It’s snowing,” Kihyun whines. 

“I think it feels great,” Minhyuk says.

Kihyun shoves him, and Minhyuk laughs. 

“I have the strangest feeling of dejavu. Didn't you guys have this conversation already?” Hyunwoo asks. 

“Definitely have,” Changkyun says. 

“Once we get there, I'll put my shield up, and you'll get a fire going, and it won't be as cold anymore,” Hyunwoo says. 

“Besides, it’s symbolic. We do this every new year’s,” Hyungwon says. 

Jooheon hurries his steps to throw his arms around Hyunwoo's shoulders. Hyunwoo turns his head and smiles at him. 

Snow is falling around them, and it crunches beneath their feet, but they’ve never missed a New Year's in their spot. Snow never stopped them no matter how much Kihyun complained. 

Their little clearing is just like they left it. Four logs around a fire pit. Sleeping bags tucked away under one of them.

“Look at this. Snow everywhere,” Kihyun says, but he’s already melting it off the fire pit and logs, fire shooting from his hands and hovering high enough over the wood not to set it all aflame. 

“Warn me next time,” Hyunwoo says as his shield comes up between Kihyun and the rest of them. 

“Sorry!”

The flames disappear, and then Hyunwoo’s shield moves to make a dome around the area. They all settle down on their logs, Changkyun and Kihyun across from Jooheon, Hoseok and Hyunwoo, Minhyuk and Hyungwon next to them. 

Kihyun starts the fire from his seat, and it roars upwards, warming the area up instantly. 

“That’s better,” Kihyun says, tugging his hat and gloves off. 

“I’m so glad you and Hyunwoo came up with this mini-oven,” Changkyun says. 

“Very convenient,” Hyungwon says. 

“Hey! I thought you liked the cold!” Minhyuk whines, poking at Hyungwon. 

Hyungwon grabs his hand and moves it to hug him.

“No, babe, I love you  _ despite _ the cold,” he jokes. 

Jooheon laughs and helps Hoseok unpack the wagon they brought full of mugs and a tea kettle and packets of various teas and hot chocolate. 

Hoseok passes the kettle over to Minhyuk who fills it with ice before handing it over to Kihyun to melt. They pass it back and forth until they're satisfied with how full it is, and then Kihyun holds the bottom of the kettle in his fire-covered hands to boil it. 

“This is the life,” Hyunwoo says. 

“It sure is,” Hoseok says as he settles on the log again. Hyunwoo is the one in the middle this time, Jooheon and Hoseok on either side of him. 

Minhyuk stands up and clears his throat. 

“So as we know, the new year is upon us,” he says. 

Everyone yells a bit in agreeance, cheering him on. Minhyuk grins. 

“And every year we come out here and have a good time. We party. We reminisce. Well, everyone, here it is,” Minhyuk says, holding up a few papers. 

Changkyun boos, and Jooheon laughs, laying his head on Hyunwoo's shoulder. 

“Here we have my probation papers, all the shitty test results, and my expulsion papers,” Minhyuk says. 

“Fuck all of that,” Kihyun says, and the tea kettle starts screaming, so Changkyun takes it from him to start pouring the boiling water into mugs. 

“Fuck all of this because as of yesterday, I'm officially back on the team!” Minhyuk yells. 

The cheers are loud. It partially echoes back to them because of the shield, but none of them mind because this is a celebration. 

“I’d like to thank Changkyun for being brilliant and finding a way to fix this, but I'd like to thank all of you for not giving up on me even when I was ready to give up on myself,” Minhyuk said. 

The mood turns melancholy for a moment as Minhyuk looks down at the papers and sniffs. No one says anything because there isn't anything to say. Not anything that would be enough to summarize everything at least. 

“So here’s to us. New year, same team,” Minhyuk says with a smile. He throws the papers into the fire, and everyone applauds like they’re at a concert. Hyungwon gets up to hug him and kiss at his cheek, and Minhyuk turns around to kiss him on the lips. 

Kihyun throws a snowball at them, and Minhyuk screams before he laughs, brushing snowflakes out of Hyungwon's hair. 

“Get a room,” Kihyun says. 

“We would if we could,” Hyungwon says back before he pulls Minhyuk down on his lap back on the log. 

Hoseok leans closer. “You know that could be us,” he whispers. 

“Hush, I'm comfortable,” Hyunwoo whispers back before he puts an arm around him and squeezes him closer. 

“Here are your mugs,” Changkyun says, holding three steaming cups out toward them. Jooheon takes two of them, handing one to Hyunwoo, and then Hoseok takes the last one. 

“Thanks,” Jooheon says.

He picks up a packet of hot chocolate and rips it open before pouring it into his mug. He mixes it up with a tiny wooden stick before blowing at it, waiting for it to cool enough to drink. 

“Congrats, though. We’re really glad you’re back,” Hoseok says. 

“Glad to be back,” Minhyuk says.

“Even though you never really left. You were just temporarily displaced,” Hyunwoo says. 

Minhyuk laughs. “That’s good. Temporarily displaced.”

“Well, it's over now. Had to watch you turn entirely into ice and back again, and that stressed me out like you wouldn't believe, but it was worth it now that everything is back to normal,” Hyungwon says. 

Jooheon finally takes a sip of his hot chocolate and sighs happily at the taste. 

And there really aren't many things that are better than this. Than their little family just sitting around the fire talking and laughing. Everyone is happy and calm, and it soothes Jooheon’s soul. 

He can't believe how quickly it could've been taken away from him. From all of them. 

He stares up at the shimmer of Hyunwoo’s shield and smiles to himself. 

“What are you thinking about?” Hyunwoo asks. 

“Hey, isn't there a rule against that?” Hoseok says, elbowing Hyunwoo lightly. 

Jooheon smiles as he looks over at them. 

“I'm just happy,” Jooheon says. 

Hoseok and Hyuwoo are so fond that Jooheon almost feels sticky from it before they attack him with kisses the next moment. 

Jooheon giggles until he feels something cold hit the side of his face and hears something smack against Hyunwoo and Hoseok. He pulls away to see both Kihyun and Minhyuk holding snowballs. 

“Get a room,” Minhyuk says. 

It’s silent for a second before Jooheon bursts out laughing. 

They threw snowballs at  _ him.  _ And his  _ boyfriends.  _

He thought that'd be one particular peril he'd always be safe from, and yet here they were. Covered in snow. 

“I tried that. Changkyun came looking, though,” Jooheon says. 

Hoseok snorts. “At least it was while you were asleep after training and not...well any other time.”

“Any other time?!” Hyungwon asks, slightly horrified. 

Hyunwoo shrugs. “We don't like our cuddling interrupted.”

“Is that a euphemism?” Kihyun asks. 

“Sadly, it mostly isn't,” Changkyun says. 

Jooheon gathers a snowball and throws it at Changkyun. It hits him square in the chest. Changkyun raises a brow at him. 

“Is this what we’re doing tonight?” he asks. 

Another snowball hits him in the chest, and they all turn to see Hyunwoo smirking. 

“Apparently,” Kihyun says, throwing one of the snowballs that he's already made at Hyunwoo. 

Jooheon doesn't know when it becomes an all-out snowball war, but he isn't ever going to complain about it. Everyone is laughing and yelling and trying to get each other and hiding behind the logs, and no one is even using their powers. 

Hyunwoo doesn't stop snowballs with his shield. Hyungwon doesn't flick them away. Kihyun doesn't melt them. Changkyun is in plain view. Hoseok is throwing lightly. Even Minhyuk is hand-packing the snow on the ground instead of making them from nothing. 

And maybe if they had been born “normal”, this would've been them when they were children, laughing and playing and uncaring, but it's now, and it’s carefree, and it’s them taking back something that was never truly lost but was never truly theirs either. 

At some point, Hoseok yanks Jooheon down behind the log to get him out of the way of Hyungwon's throw, and they’re so close that they can't help but freeze for a moment and smile. 

And maybe it was still something about falling in love with the first friends you make, but Jooheon doesn't feel like a kid when Hoseok pulls him down closer and kisses him. 

His hair is wet, and the tip of his nose is cold and pink, but Hoseok is still beautiful, and Jooheon doesn't have to settle for just dreaming of kissing him anymore. 

“It’s almost midnight! Ceasefire!” Changkyun yells out. 

Jooheon pulls away from Hoseok and looks over to see Hyunwoo panting as he lays down a snowball. 

And just like it started, it’s over. They’re all standing around the fire, staring as Changkyun looks at his watch and tells them they have two minutes left. 

“I love you guys,” Minhyuk says. 

“Love you too,” Jooheon says. 

“New year, same team,” Kihyun says. 

“New year, same team,” they all say back to him. 

And when they count back from ten into the new year, there's a silly sort of excitement that runs through all of them. Like there's something magic about watching the clock strike midnight. 

When they get to one, Kihyun shoots fireballs up into the sky because they don't have fireworks, or at last he does until Changkyun pulls him closer to kiss him. 

Jooheon blinks and looks around and sees Hyungwon and Minhyuk kissing, too. 

He almost feels like he’ll turn to find Hoseok and Hyunwoo kissing. 

But then two wet smacks hit one of his cheeks each, and Jooheon laughs before he kisses Hoseok and Hyunwoo on the cheek to reciprocate. 

And maybe it wouldn't look perfect to anyone else, but for them it is. 

“Happy New Year,” Hoseok says as he pulls both Jooheon and Hyunwoo close. 

“Happy New Year,” Hyunwoo responds and hugs them tight. 

Jooheon squeezes them both as hard as he can.

_ I love you.  _

_ “We love you, too, Honey.” _

_ “Love you so much.” _

“I’ll throw, can you make them explode?” 

“Make what explode?” Hyunwoo immediately asks as he turns to glare down Minhyuk. 

And Jooheon is giggling too much to even hear the rest of the conversation, but he does enjoy the snowballs that Minhyuk throws into the air and Hyungwon makes break apart. Snow fireworks. 

They all decide it's too cold to sleep out here, so at one in the morning, Jooheon is rubbing his own arms to try to get the chill out as he watches Hoseok make a blanket fort around Hyunwoo's bed. 

“Come here,” Hyunwoo says, and it's almost strange how used to hearing that Jooheon is. How Hyunwoo had been asking him to come closer almost their entire lives, and it took a whole confession for Jooheon to understand that he meant it so deeply. 

Jooheon scoots closer to Hyunwoo who puts a fleece blanket over him before he wraps his arms around him. And the chill almost magically disappears around Jooheon. 

“Thank you,” Jooheon says.

Hyunwoo just kisses him instead of responding. 

They’re not as awkward anymore. They don't hesitate to kiss, to touch. They don't blush and fuss whenever they get touched. It's nice to fall into this comfortable place. 

“All done!” Hoseok announces as he steps back and waves his finger over the blanket fort. 

“Nice,” Jooheon says as he hugs the blanket tighter around him before he walks over and gets inside the fort. The lights go out in the room, but there's a lamp on the corner table that's still on and inside the blanket fort. Hoseok joins him, and a moment later, Hyunwoo does too. 

“Well, happy New Year everyone,” Hyunwoo says. 

“It's our first new year’s as a thing,” Hoseok says with a grin. He lays down, placing his head in Jooheon's lap. Jooheon starts twirling his fingers through his hair. 

“A year ago I would've never thought…” Jooheon starts. 

“Me either,” Hyunwoo says. He takes Jooheon's free hand and holds it. 

“We should probably sleep,” Hoseok says.

“Hm. Sounds like you don't want to sleep,” Jooheon says.

“You read my mind,” Hoseok answers with a grin. Jooheon laughs a bit and tugs gently at Hoseok’s hair. 

“I'm definitely in the same boat,” Hyunwoo says, and he scoots a bit closer to Jooheon's side. 

“So…?” Jooheon says. Hoseok sits up and kisses Jooheon, and Jooheon instantly melts. 

They don't fall asleep until sometime past three in the morning, smiling and sleepy. Jooheon sleeps, spooned by Hoseok behind him and buried in Hyunwoo's chest in front of him. They don't even need a sheet to keep them warm, all tangled up together. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the comments and kudos!   
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	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When the summer comes, the seven of them finally enact their ultimate plan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is technically the last chapter before the epilogue. I'm really emotional about it, tbh.

Working through the majority of the holiday season has its benefits now that Changkyun has graduated. Mainly that the whole team gets two months off as a thank you. They bank the vacation time and start planning. 

When the summer comes, the seven of them finally enact their ultimate plan. 

A trip back to Korea, all seven of them together.

It's funny how they all know everything about each other, but most of them have never met each other's parents. Finding a family in a foreign land tends to lead to that, but they all promised, and promises do mean  _ everything _ to them, that one day they'd all do the introduction road trip. 

They start with Minhyuk's parents because they had been the most worried about their son, and they hadn't seen him since two years ago when he brought Hyungwon home to introduce him as his boyfriend. 

It was there that Jooheon started to slightly panic about telling his mother about having not one, but two boyfriends. 

It turned out that he was the only one not to tell his mom. Hoseok tells his mother everything, so she had been asking to meet them officially for months. Hyunwoo didn’t care or worry and just spilled it all out one day when his parents asked if he had a girlfriend yet. Apparently, it took a while for her to recover from that, but eventually they came around to it.

Jooheon was the only bad son, and the more time they spent in Korea, the more he realized that he couldn't even hide it. Hoseok and Hyunwoo were too touchy. Too openly loving for Jooheon to brush it off. 

Luckily for him, the group had planned the trip with their trip to Daegu to meet his mother last, so he had time to figure it out. 

Or at least he hoped. 

They stayed at Minhyuk's parents’ large apartment for a week where Minhyuk’s mother praised them for always offering to help cook and clean and keeping their manners even though they were raised in America by who knows whom. His father was always telling jokes, and it was strange to see the similarities between him and Minhyuk. 

They treated Hyungwon like another son. Making him bend down to kiss him and grabbing his face to say how handsome he was, and Jooheon was so happy because Minhyuk's smile was unbeatable whenever that happened. 

They still insisted on making Hyungwon and Minhyuk sleep in separate rooms though, much to Minhyuk’s annoyance. 

Hyungwon's parents were similar when they moved on to their house. They’d dote on Minhyuk and call him son-in-law, which caught everyone off-guard for a moment before they all started calling Minhyuk the son-in-law. Minhyuk made sure Hyungwon’s parents weren't looking when he tossed snowballs at them to get them to shut up. 

Kihyun's parents were fascinated by the fact that such a charming young man would find Kihyun so handsome. They looked genuinely surprised whenever Changkyun told them that he thought Kihyun was the most handsome man he’d ever met. 

Jooheon found this particularly funny because Kihyun looked exactly like his father. Kihyun even asked his mother if she didn't find his father handsome, to which she vehemently said she did. 

“Don’t you think I'm handsome, mom?”

“Of course! But I'm not delusional to think you're the most handsome man in the world!”

“Mom!”

“But he is the most handsome man in the world!” 

Back and forth, back and forth. It didn't help that they thought Minhyuk was handsome. It only added fuel to their bickering. 

At least they always calmed down when they ate, and they ate a lot. Especially at Hoseok and Hyunwoo's houses where their mothers thought all of them looked too skinny and kept shoveling food at them. 

Hoseok’s mother had as much love in her as Hosek did. She would pat Jooheon's cheek and tell him he looked so very handsome. Jooheon would always bow deep and thank her, and then she’d hold Hyunwoo’s face and tell him she could tell what a good man he was, and Hoseok would whine and pretend to be jealous and complain about his mother not paying him any attention until she would laugh and kiss all over his face like he was still a baby, and Hoseok giggled because he definitely was still her baby. 

Hyunwoo's parents seemed a tad bit more serious. Hyunwoo greeted them formally, and they greeted him formally back, but once the night hit they would let themselves be a bit sillier, and Hyunwoo would loosen up enough to put his arms around him and Hoseok in a small attempt to show them off. 

His parents didn't give them gentle cheek pats and compliments, but they gave them extra servings of kimchi and rice before they could even ask for more, and Jooheon figured that was their way of saying they were accepting them. 

Kihyun was a nervous wreck as they made their way to Changkyun's parents house because Changkyun mentioned once that his parents were worried about Kihyun being too old for him. Jooheon couldn't even nap on the bus ride over there because of Kihyun's flying thoughts.

Kihyun ended up not having a thing to worry about. Changkyun's parents greeted him like they knew him and smiled bright and thanked him for making their son so happy. Changkyun ended up blushing because of it, and Jooheon nudged at his ribs until he spoke. 

His mother definitely told them to separate a few times though, saying that Changkyun was still their baby and their baby shouldn't be doing anything with anyone under their roof. They couldn't so much as lean in for a kiss without getting interrupted by Changkyun’s mother. To spite them, Changkyun started running around invisible, so they couldn't see him kissing Kihyun whenever he wanted. 

It all managed to distract Jooheon for a while until they were literally right outside his mother's door, and his heart was pounding as he knocked. 

“You really haven't told her anything?” Hoseok asks as he stands behind him. 

“No. Me and my mom don’t...we don't talk like...that,” Jooheon says. 

The door swings open and Jooheon's mom beams up at him before she hugs him tight. Jooheon hugs her back and sighs. 

“Hey, mom,” Jooheon says softly. 

“Ah, Jooheonie, come in, come in. Introduce your friends!”

“Right, well. This is Hyunwoo, Hoseok, Kihyun, Minhyuk, Hyungwon, and Changkyun,” Jooheon says, pointing at each of them as they bow and smile and make their way inside. 

Jooheon's mother’s house is smaller than the other houses because she never took Jooheon's offer to buy her a nicer one, but no one complains about having to all pile onto mats on the floor in Jooheon’s room. 

Jooheon tells them to get settled in as he goes to help his mom in the kitchen. 

“It’s good to have you home. And you brought your friends! I never thought I'd meet them,” his mother says. 

“Right. I'm glad to be home. Do you need help?”

“Can you cut the cabbage for me?” 

Jooheon instantly moves to where his mother waved at to find the head of cabbage and the knife to cut it up. 

“Mom, I have...something to tell you,” Jooheon says. 

“Hm?” 

Jooheon looks over to see her slicing up some pork belly and placing it delicately onto a grill. 

“I…am in a relationship,” Jooheon says. 

His mom drops a piece and looks at him with wide eyes. 

“With...who? One of the boys? You brought a boyfriend home and didn't warn me?”

Jooheon bites his lip. Keeps cutting the cabbage. “Um, yes actually. I'm sorry, I didn't know how to bring it up.”

She sighs and goes back to putting things on the grill. 

“Is it Hoseok or Hyunwoo? The other ones are dating already, right?” She asks. 

Jooheon swallows. 

“Mom…”

“Why are you being so shy? Just tell me,” she says. 

Jooheon bites his lip. 

_ “It’s both of them.” _

She stops again, halfway through flipping one of the pieces of pork belly. 

“Was that you in my head?” she asks softly. 

Jooheon puts down the knife. His mother is entirely blank. No emotion to speak of. 

“Yes. Mom, I know it's not...like the most common thing in the world, but--”

She starts flipping the meat again carefully. Jooheon swallows. 

“I love them, and they love me. And I'm sorry I didn't tell you but--”

“They seem like good boys.”

Jooheon stops. “So…?”

“So what? Finish cutting up the cabbage for me, love.” She waves at the half cut cabbage and then pats his back. “If you’re happy, I'm happy. Don't know why you worry about me. I always let you do whatever you like, remember?”

Jooheon laughed a bit before he turned back to his cabbage. 

“Hyunwoo and Hoseok. One of them is the strong one right?” she asks. 

“Yeah. And Hyunwoo is the one with the shield.”

“Well, at least they'll be able to protect you.”

Jooheon laughs again and leans over to kiss his mother on the cheek. She smiles and rubs up and down his back as she keeps cooking. He really had been worried for nothing. 

+++

After their mini family tour, they all decided to take a trip together to Busan to go to the beaches for the last few weeks. There's always a struggle to find a seafood restaurant near a fried chicken place since Kihyun doesn't like seafood, and no one else wants to eat chicken on the beach, but they manage. 

They spend their days pruning in the sea or laid out in the sand or at little booths selling snacks but always together. All of them move like a giant unit everywhere they go, whether it’s to the convenience store to stock up on cheap beer and soju or to the barbeque restaurant at the corner to stuff their faces or to the tons of little shops around to just try things, anything that they want. 

The days blend together because they’re all so good. Jooheon doesn’t think he’s ever been happier than now, his friends always around and cracking jokes and smiling as bright as the sun. Their happiness all blends together like the sea breeze and the salt air and the sun shining down, his belly is always full, and his heart is always soaring, and Hyunwoo and Hoseok still manage to take his breath away every time they steal a kiss from him behind a row of snacks at the convenience store or behind an umbrella at the beach. 

At night, they all file into their separate rooms because they’ve all saved enough money to splurge on three hotel rooms, and Jooheon kisses Hoseok and Hyunwoo and doesn’t care at all when he can still taste the sea on them. 

They all lay on the giant king-size bed they need in their plush hotel bathrobes and watch Korean dubbed Spongebob and laugh and sip soju and kiss and kiss and  _ kiss _ until none of them want to just kiss anymore. 

“Do you think we feel at home because we’re in our home country?” Hoseok asks one night as he leans back against Jooheon’s chest. 

“No,” Hyunwoo answers.

“No?” Hoseok asks. 

Jooheon tightens his arms around him and kisses the back of Hoseok’s neck. He smells like soap and shampoo from the shower. 

“We feel at home because we’re with each other,” Jooheon says softly. 

“Exactly,” Hyunwoo says. He reaches up and scratches at the back of Jooheon’s head gently. Hoseok wiggles a bit to settle even closer to Jooheon. 

“You’re both absolute geniuses. Why didn’t I think of that?” Hoseok jokes. 

Hyunwoo snorts and leans closer to kiss Hoseok’s cheek. Hoseok turns his head and pouts until Hyunwoo leans in and kisses him again. Jooheon smiles as he squeezes Hoseok one last time before letting him go to stretch out his back. 

“Hey! I didn’t want to stop cuddling,” Hoseok complains instantly. 

Jooheon laughs before he moves out from behind Hoseok and pushes him back down on the bed. He lays down on top of him and buries his face in his chest. Hyunwoo quickly lays on top of Jooheon, and Jooheon laughs again. 

“Is this enough cuddling for you?” Hyunwoo asks. 

Hoseok wraps his arms around both of them and grins. “Just about.”

“I’m getting squished,” Jooheon says. 

Hoseok hummed and put one arm between Jooheon and Hyunwoo and pushed Hyunwoo up a bit. 

“That better?” he asks.

“Actually, yes,” Jooheon says. 

“I feel like I’m floating,” Hyunwoo says. 

“Well, I’m holding you up with one hand.”

“It’s still crazy to me that doing this isn’t hard at all for you,” Jooheon says. 

“Nah. Hyunwoo weighs, what? Three pounds?”

Hyunwoo snorts. “Maybe to you.”

Jooheon pushes himself up a bit and kisses Hoseok softly before pulling away. 

“You’re cute,” Jooheon says. 

Hoseok laughs and leans up to rub his nose against Jooheon's cheek. No words. Just touches. 

Hyunwoo eventually rolls off of them to wrap his arms around both of them and nuzzle against them.

They whisper about love between kisses and touches, and when they say  _ you  _ they always mean it in a plural. 

_ I love both of you _ , but that's too much of a mouthful. 

_ I love you, you and you,  _ but it's obvious even when they don't say it. 

_ I love you,  _ and they all understand. 

Jooheon never knows who starts it first. Who is the first one to pull open a robe, and who is the first one to let their hands wander downwards, and who is the first one to moan against someone else. 

He likes to think it's someone different each time. 

This time, though, it was probably his hands on Hyunwoo, and then Hoseok's hands on him, and then they stopped keeping track. 

They never keep track. It's always just who pulls someone on top of them first.

This time, it’s Hyunwoo pulling Jooheon on top of him, and Hoseok kissing down Jooheon's back, and they always fumble and giggle a bit when they grab for the lube and condoms. 

And someone else might think their intimacy is just a strange kink, but it never is to them. 

Here, there are no shields or veils or numbered promises to speak of. 

It’s just them, raw and vulnerable and real, and Jooheon loves feeling everything they feel. Loves their love and emotions and how pure they feel and how bright and hot like a spark in his body. 

Love. 

Hyunwoo’s love always has that slightly indescribable feeling to it. It’s the feeling of falling asleep in his arms and safety and calm and joy wrapping around his middle. It doesn't shine but it flows and fills, and Jooheon hears it in his laugh and his breathless little grunts, and he sees it physically manifest every time Hyunwoo’s shield glimmers in the air. 

Hoseok’s love is almost overwhelming. It's the fluttering heart in Jooheon's chest and the flushed cheeks and the goosebumps on his skin and excitement and passion that doesn't fizzle out but blurs to something comfortable and wonderful. It’s bright, and it shines like the stars in the sky and the sun, and it screams out in gold in his memories, and Jooheon can feel it in the careful soft touches and the gentleness around him because Hoseok would never treat anything he loves recklessly, and his soft little giggle in his ear, and the fond smiles he has even as they all act ridiculous. 

Together, it’s the home that Jooheon has built in their arms and their hearts, and even their minds because Hoseok and Hyunwoo trust him enough to let him in, and Jooheon trusts them enough to keep him grounded and  _ there  _ even if they have to yank him out themselves. 

And when they all collapse after, and the edges around them blur for Jooheon because it's always so much, and it mixes in his mind into a mess, they don't get up to clean themselves until it calms in Jooheon's mind. 

It’s Hoseok’s fingertips on his chest, and Hyunwoo’s lips on his shoulder, and Jooheon loves them more than he could ever describe. 

They always sleep in a tangle and weave of limbs because they have to be touching each other now, always have to be to be able to sleep soundly. 

+++

“Changkyun, is that...a textbook?” Hyungwon asks, slightly horrified. 

“I have to study for my biology exam,” Changkyun responds, not looking up from the book. 

“We just got back,” Minhyuk says. 

“Mhm,” Changkyun says. 

“It’s  _ summer _ ,” Hyungwon says, still absolutely horrified. 

“Did you guys not notice me taking the online classes while we were on vacation?” Changkyun asks. 

“You were studying on vacation?” Minhyuk asks, and he’s as horrified as Hyungwon is. 

“He even took like three tests. Would wake me up at four in the morning to give him moral support,” Kihyun says. 

“That's awful,” Hoseok says.

Changkyun holds his hands out in front of him. “I can't just  _ be  _ a doctor. I need to study and take classes,” he says. 

“But why during the summer?” Minhyuk asks. 

“Guys, we have a mission to focus on?” Hyunwoo says from the front of the van. They all look away from Changkyun's studying to turn to look at him. 

“Right, sorry, I forgot what that's like,” Minhyuk says. 

“Oh, hush, you were back for months before we left,” Kihyun says before he shoves at Minhyuk’s shoulder. 

“Still!” Minhyuk says with a laugh. 

“Well, it's a rescue mission. Earthquake knocked over buildings, and we need to help get people out,” Hyunwoo explains. 

“I already know where this is going,” Hyungwon says. 

Hyunwoo smiles a bit. “Honey, you’ll be looking for people who we might not be able to hear. I'll be providing shields where needed. Hoseok and Hyungwon will be moving debris and stuff. Changkyun, I'll have you looking for people--”

“What the hell are we supposed to do?” Minhyuk asks.

Hyunwoo sighs and looks at them. “Well, Kihyun is there to help if a fire breaks out to contain it. Minhyuk, I thought maybe you could use the ice to even help move things in a pinch, or to give first aid,” Hyunwoo says. 

“You really do think of everything,” Minhyuk says, mildly impressed. 

“That is what I trained for. Comms on everyone, there's no reason for Jooheon to have to be a walkie-talkie. There’ll be volunteers there, too, so just try to listen to the rescue squad and fall in line.”

“Got it,” Kihyun says. 

“How bad was it?” Hoseok asks. 

Hyunwoo frowns down at the report. “We didn't get a full damage report, so I have no idea.”

“Ah,” Hoseok says. 

Jooheon reaches out and grabs his hand to squeeze it. No hesitation. Hoseok squeezes back before putting his arm around him. 

“We’ll be there in fifteen, so Changkyun?” Hyunwoo says. 

“Yeah?”

“Study quickly.”

“Please, this is basic biology. I've been doing genetics research for three years now,” Changkyun replies as he looks back down at his textbook.

“I really don't understand why you can’t skip these basic classes,” Minhyuk says. 

“Trust me, I don't either. But if I have to take them, I'm going to get perfect scores on everything,” Changkyun says. 

“Don't stress yourself out, though. It's not just Jooheon and Kihyun that hate it when you go full gremlin mode,” Hyungwon says. 

Changkyun blinks before he looks up. “Gremlin mode?”

Hoseok snorts before turning to face the front, away from them. Hyunwoo pinches the bridge of his nose as he sits down next to Jooheon and tries to calm himself. Jooheon watches as Kihyun's eyes blow wide, and he starts to panic. 

“Yeah, you know those times when you lock yourself in your room and don’t see the sun for days? Ki called it your gremlin mode, and it really does fit,” Minhyuk says. 

Changkyun blinks at him, then at Kihyun. 

_ “This isn’t good,”  _ Hoseok thinks.

Changkyun manages the best pout Jooheon thinks he's ever seen as he looks at Kihyun. 

“You called me a gremlin?” Changkyun whines. 

Kihyun's eyes somehow go even wider, and he grabs Changkyun’s face and starts kissing at it. 

“No no no, I didn't say you  _ were  _ a gremlin, just that you got gremlin-like sometimes--”

“Kihyun,” Changkyun whines again.

And Kihyun redoubles his efforts by hugging him and kissing his cheeks and apologizing, but Changkyun just winks at Jooheon because that's exactly what he wants. 

Jooheon rolls his eyes and turns back around, trying to block out Kihyun's little  _ I love you _ ’s trying to soothe a perfectly pleased Changkyun. 

“Ah, hush, I love you, too. I definitely do have a gremlin mode,” Changkyun says before he kisses Kihyun back. 

Kihyun huffs. “You know my heart squeezes when you pout like that.”

“Oh, God, that's actually  _ the worst  _ thing I've heard you say,” Minhyuk says. 

“Oh shut up, like I haven't heard half the things you say to Hyungwon,” Kihyun says. 

“I have  _ never--” _

“‘Oh, Hyungwon don't look at me like that it makes my insides weak’,” Kihyun spits back. 

“We have...ten minutes,” Hyunwoo says weakly as he slumps against Jooheon. 

Jooheon laughs and kisses the top of his head.  

“You really have said that,” Hyungwon stage-whispers. 

“Don't take his side!”

“My side is the correct side,” Kihyun says. 

Jooheon can  _ feel _ Minhyuk whirl around to look at Kihyun. 

“Don't try me, I know everything about you,” Minhyuk threatens.

“And? So does everyone on this team! What could you possibly say?”

“Do they, Ki? Do they really?”

And then Minhyuk purposely thinks too loud, and Jooheon chokes. 

“Oh, gross, Minhyuk,” Jooheon yells as he turns around to smack at Minhyuk’s arm. 

“What did you do?” Kihyun asks, eyebrows going up. 

Jooheon looks at him, then at Changkyun and frowns. “Teeth,” is all Jooheon says. 

“Excuse me?” Hoseok asks as he turns around, but Changkyun is already fully invisible, and Kihyun is melting back into his chair, his hands going up to cover his face. 

Minhyuk preens, proud. “I told you not to try me.”

“Lee Minhyuk, I am going to actually melt you,” Kihyun says. 

“You wish.”

“Don't melt him,” Hyungwon whines as he wraps his arms around Minhyuk. 

“See? Even Hyungwon thinks I could do it,” Kihyun says, and he’s still muffled by his own hands slightly. 

“He has to say that on principle,” Minhyuk says. 

Changkyun finally appears again. “You really tell Minhyuk everything, oh my God.”

“He might be ridiculous, but he’s still my best friend,” Kihyun answers. 

Minhyuk beams and nudges Kihyun with his elbow. 

“It's alright, you can embarrass me back,” Minhyuk says. 

“Um, the hell he can,” Hyungwon says. 

“Actually, I've been meaning to ask something,” Kihyun says. 

“Don't you dare,” Hyungwon says, but Minhyuk is still grinning a bit. 

“Well...”

The thought that pops into Jooheon’s mind makes him turn around and smack Kihyun’s arm, and then Hyunwoo has had enough.

“I’m going to stop this right here. It's done, over, I don't need to hear any of this,” Hyunwoo says, finally turning around again.

“What the hell were you about to say?” Hyungwon croaks out. 

“You don't want to know,” Jooheon says miserably before he rubs at his eyes to try to purge the image from his brain. 

“Look, now you made Honey upset, and I haven't even read a sentence in this book,” Changkyun complains as he nudges Kihyun. 

“I’ll just ask you later,” Kihyun says to Minhyuk. 

“Sure thing.”

“And we’re here! We are going to save lives everyone!” Hyunwoo says, pushing open the van door to hop out. 

They truly couldn't have asked for a better leader.

They all hop out, and Jooheon gets to work listening for things as they walk up to the rubble of a building. 

They've always worked best as a team. A group. And Jooheon would say he hears someone and point down, and then Changkyun would make layer by layer invisible until they found them, and then Hyunwoo would put a shield around them as Hyungwon and Hoseok got to work moving things off and away from them. They work well and fast, thankful that they’re pulling up survivors instead of bodies. 

Minhyuk spends his time making snow for the children they pull up to look at while the paramedics are checking them. He’s happy to be on the mission, back on the team even if he’s been back for months, and they feel whole again. All of them. 

Relieved to have Minhyuk back by their side, and not counting them off in his head whenever he sees them. 

And Jooheon likes these missions. It's stressful, but helping people is what they do best. 

No one thinks twice about them. No one thinks of them as freaks. 

Here, they can actually be what their parents think of them. 

Superheroes. 

Maybe that's why when they get the all-clear and get told that there weren't any casualties, there's a unique feeling of relief and happiness that spreads through them. 

They pile back into the van, and they all smile at each other, glad that their family is back together. 

Jooheon falls asleeps like he always does against Hyunwoo with Hoseok playing with his hair. 

And it's days like this that assure Jooheon that he's where he’s meant to be, doing what he's meant to be doing with the people and the team that he can't imagine being without. 

Waking up in the arms of the men he loves when they get back home, only makes it better. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

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	15. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hyunwoo laughs from his belly, and Hoseok smiles so big you can see all his teeth, and Jooheon loves them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> <3

Hoseok nudges Jooheon in the audience. Jooheon doesn't look as he grabs his hand and pulls it up to his lips to kiss it before pulling it to his lap. 

Fond. That's all Jooheon can feel as Hoseok leans his head on his shoulder. 

Changkyun looks exhausted as he sits on stage, definitely the youngest person there.

Jooheon can't blame him. They got to the hotel from a mission at two in the morning the day before his graduation, and then they still had to get up early to get him ready and here on time. 

“Do you think Changkyun has slept properly for the past six years?” Hyungwon asks. 

“No,” both Jooheon and Kihyun answer at the same time. 

“Look, he worked hard to get a lot of college classes done in high school, and then he took a billion extra hours a semester to finish his bachelor's in a year and a half, and then he did the same thing with medical school. If anyone here is a superhero, it's him,” Hyunwoo says from Hoseok’s other side. 

“You don't have to tell  _ me _ that,” Kihyun says. 

“I think we should take him back to the hotel after this. He needs to sleep before we celebrate,” Hyungwon says. 

“Agreed. I can feel how tired he is from here,” Jooheon says. 

Kihyun frowns which makes Minhyuk nudge him.

“You are not allowed to frown today. Your boyfriend is a  _ doctor _ now. I know your parents have to be ecstatic,” Minhyuk says. 

“Which reminds me, where are the Im’s? Have you seen them?” Hyunwoo asks. 

“They texted me saying they hit traffic,” Kihyun says. 

“Well, luckily Hyunwoo is saving their seats,” Hyungwon says. Jooheon glances over to see the slight glimmer of Hyunwoo’s shield in a bubble around all of them and the two empty seats next to him.

“Oh, Kihyun, you’re switching with me when they get here. They’re your parents-in-law not mine,” Hyunwoo says.

“They claimed all six of us last time we went!” Kihyun says back. 

“Why are you still so nervous around them? It's been  _ years _ since you met them, and they love you,” Hyungwon says. 

“Yeah, Changkyun doesn't even have to turn invisible to kiss you in front of them anymore,” Minhyuk says.

Kihyun glares at him for a moment before standing up. 

“Hyunwoo, switch with me now before I violate rule number four,” Kihyun says. 

Hyunwoo sighs as he stands up and moves to let Kihyun take his spot before Hyunwoo moves to take the now empty seat next to Jooheon. 

“That shouldn't be enough to get you all hot-headed. That was barely an actual jibe,” Minhyuk says. 

“What was that? I can't hear you over the fact that my boyfriend is a doctor,” Kihyun says back. 

“Ugh, boring. Mine’s a superhero,” Minhyuk says back. 

Jooheon stops himself from snorting only because he feels Hyunwoo’s stress spike up to slightly concerning levels.

“Hey, maybe it's time I remind you guys that we aren't on campus, and technically that's a secret,” Hoseok says. 

“What are they going to do? Fire us? We don't even wear masks. Our faces are in the news all the time,” Minhyuk whispers. 

“I'm saying it because I can tell from here that Hyunwoo is about to pop a vein, and I'd appreciate it if that didn't happen on what should be a happy day,” Hoseok whispers back. 

“It’s more the fact that we’re at a doctoral graduation, and you guys are still like this,” Hyunwoo says. 

“Valid,” Hyungwon says, nodding sagely. 

“That's our charm,” Minhyuk says. 

“Also...ah,  _ annyeonghaseyo _ ,” Kihyun says.

Everyone scrambles to stand up to bow politely at Changkyun's parents as they file in and greet them. 

At least they clean up well for actual company. 

All of them kinda fall into good-natured mumbling after that. Hoseok’s hand is still in Jooheon's lap, and Hyunwoo puts his hand on Jooheon's knee, and Jooheon feels giddy inside like this hasn't been them for the past five-ish years. 

Two and a half hours later, they’re all starving, and Changkyun's officially a doctor, and Jooheon doesn't think he's seen him this happy since the day Kihyun told him he loved him for the first time in a romantic way instead of just the friendly way.

Kihyun is adorable as he runs around with his fancy camera, snapping photos of Changkyun in his regalia with his parents. Jooheon knows that this has to be a relief for him too. Jooheon can't count how many times he woke up in the night to get a drink and walked out to find Kihyun passed out on the couch because Changkyun always wanted to be alone when he needed to focus, but he didn't want to kick Kihyun out. How many times Jooheon has to peer into Changkyun’s room with only one eye open to decide whether to wake Kihyun up or to just put a blanket around him. 

He can't count how many times Kihyun would be going over flashcards with Changkyun in the back of the van on the way to and from missions. 

He can't count how many times Changkyun admitted to thinking that Kihyun was actually an angel sent from above for putting up with it. 

But Jooheon is glad because Changkyun's parents are telling Kihyun that he needs to be in the family photo like they’re actually married, and he knows without having to check that Kihyun probably would've cried if it wasn't for the fact that he didn't want to ruin Changkyun’s happy graduation pictures. 

They eventually take a photo, all seven of them, Changkyun proudly standing in the middle until his mother starts gushing about how handsome her son is, and he turns invisible to hide the blush. 

And Changkyun is still exhausted, but he’s running on pure adrenaline and manic happiness and, most importantly,  _ hunger.  _

His parents are probably surprised that their genius son is desperate for the Red Robin he knows is just down the street, but they happily take him wherever he wants because  _ he’s a doctor now.  _

It's somewhere through their third round of bottomless fries that everyone starts to reminisce. 

Minhyuk tells Changkyun's parents the story of his frozen appendix because for some reason Changkyun never told them. 

“Your son probably saved my life that day,” Minhyuk says, smiling over at Changkyun. 

“I did not save your life. I just...gave a suggestion, so it could go back to normal,” Changkyun says, and he's poking at his empty plate, but he doesn't turn invisible because they are still in public. 

“Ah, and he's so humble, too!” Minhyuk says. 

Changkyun’s parents laugh about being glad that their son grew up so well, and then the mood turns slightly melancholy around Jooheon, and he can understand why. It must be strange to watch your son grow up from afar. Wishing you were there to raise him but knowing you can’t. 

And it is strange. Seeing your parents maybe once a year is rough. Having to coordinate calls is hard when they live on the other side of the planet. Even texting is hard, sending a message and not getting a reply for hours, ending up in an endless loop of  _ how are you?  _ And  _ I’m good, and you?  _ And  _ have a good day, love you! _

Jooheon glances around the table, and is incredibly thankful that they all still turned out so great. So relatively normal for how not normal they are. 

Hell. Changkyun is even a doctor. 

_ “It’s him. Oh my God, it’s him.” _

A shiver runs down Jooheon's spine as an unfamiliar voice crowds into his mind. He looks around the restaurant to see one of the waitresses in the corner of the room staring at them, particularly at Hoseok, her eyes wide. 

Jooheon looks back at Hoseok, trying to figure out where she would know him from. Maybe she’s one of the people who actually kept up with them. Learned their faces in case they ever ran into them on the street.

But that wouldn't have made her thoughts so loud. At least, Jooheon doesn't think it would. 

“Hoseok,” Jooheon says softly. 

“Hm?”

“There’s a waitress staring at you. She knows you from somewhere,” Jooheon says. 

Hoseok frowns as he looks right up at the corner where she's standing. Her eyes somehow go even wider before she scurries away. 

“That’s weird,” Hoseok says softly. 

“I’m sure it's nothing. Probably just thinks you're cute,” Hyunwoo says. 

Hoseok snorts and smacks Hyunwoo’s shoulder lightly. 

“I’m usually good at faces, though. I would've remembered her if I knew her, I think,” Hoseok says.

Jooheon hums and bites at a now-cold french fry. “Maybe she’s a fan.”

“Doubt it. We don't have many of those,” Hoseok says. 

“You’d be surprised,” Hyunwoo says. 

Time goes by, and they forget about it, going back to joking and talking with the group. It's normal until their waitress comes up. 

“Would you guys like any desserts? It's on the house,” she says.

“Really?” Changkyun asks. 

“Why?” Hyungwon asks. 

The waitress just smiles. “Oh, one of our staff is covering it as a thank you. Anything you guys want?”

“A thank you?” Minhyuk asks. 

“Well, do you want anything Changkyun? It’s your day,” Hyunwoo says. 

“I guess the brownie cake?” Changkyun says. 

“One brownie cake coming right up!” The waitress says before she walks back to the kitchen.

“She must be doing this because of Changkyun's grad robes,” Kihyun says. 

“It’s a bit weird, though. A thank you,” Jooheon says. 

“Do you think it's that other waitress?” Hoseok asks. 

“What other waitress?” Hyungwon asks. 

Jooheon sighs before he quickly explains what happened earlier. All of them are frowning in thought as their dessert is brought to them. 

But the dessert is dropped in front of Hoseok, and when they look up, it’s her. The waitress that was staring at him earlier. 

“Hi! Um. Sorry, this is awkward, and you probably don't remember me at all,” she says, and she’s nervous. Playing with her hands and not looking anywhere for longer than a second, and then Jooheon sees it. 

The house. The mission. Her being locked in a room crying, but much smaller, and Hoseok coming in and smiling gently, and introducing himself as Wonho, telling her he was there to get her out of there. He sees it all flash through her mind in a second. The way she trusted him enough to let him pick her up, the way he picked her up so easily it surprised her, the way he put his hand on the back of her head, so she wouldn't see what was happening with her brother in the rest of the house. How Hoseok dropped her off to the paramedics and apologized before he ran back inside to help the rest of his team. 

Jooheon grabbed Hoseok’s knee under the table. 

“But I'm pretty sure you’re Wonho. You...you helped me when I was twelve? My brother…”

“I remember,” Hoseok says, nodding a bit. 

She smiles and looks down, clears her throat. 

“I um. My name is Claire. I never got to thank you or…” she glances around the table and smiles brighter, “...any of you actually, and I know one brownie cake definitely isn't enough--”

“You don't need to thank me. Knowing that you’re alright is enough,” Hoseok says with a smile. 

And somehow Jooheon finds himself in awe again of how genuine every single thing that Hoseok says and feels is. It could have sounded like a rehearsed line, but it wasn't. It was probably the first time in Hoseok’s life that someone even came up to him like this. 

“I’m sorry I didn't recognize the rest of you at first. I've seen you guys in the news a lot, though,” she says. 

“We understand. We were doing other things, and Wonho was the one that rescued you,” Hyunwoo says. 

Claire shakes her head a bit. “But you guys saved my brother. The police were...they would've killed him if it wasn't for you guys. And even though, I don't talk to him, I don't think I could've dealt with that,” she says. 

Pride. It's like a tide that rises up in his chest and throat and makes him grin. It doesn't help that everyone at the table feels it a bit differently. 

“Well, sorry to bother you. I just needed to say that. I’ll let you guys eat your food now,” Claire says. 

“You didn't bother us. Thank you,” Hoseok says, and Jooheon can practically feel her swoon, and he smiles because he can definitely relate. 

Every one enjoys the hell out of the two bites of brownie cake they can get in before it's all gone. 

+++

Everyone is tipsy because they finally got back home, and they’re around a bonfire, and Changkyun is a doctor, and Hyungwon proposed to Minhyuk, and they have so many reasons to be happy but didn't get to actually celebrate them the way they usually do. 

“When do you think the wedding will be?” Changkyun asks. 

Hyungwon shrugs. “We don't want anything big. Just our parents and you guys. It's kind of hard to plan a whole wedding when we have no idea when we get days off,” Hyungwon says. 

“Ready to get married at a moment's notice?” Kihyun jokes. 

“Yep! I mean, especially now that we asked Hyunwoo to get ordained,” Minhyuk says. 

“Oh my God, Hyunwoo could marry us too,” Kihyun says. 

Jooheon buries his face in Hoseok’s arm to muffle his laugh as Kihyun quickly tries to backtrack and say that he just said it, and it wasn't an actual proposal, but Changkyun is just staring at him with fondness literally pouring out of him. 

“I'm just surprised that Hyungwon did it. I always thought Minhyuk would be the one to propose first,” Hyunwoo says before he puts his empty beer can into the trash bag. 

“I thought so too, but apparently I take too long,” Minhyuk says. 

Hyungwon nods. “You did. Also it was worth it to see your face when I dropped down on one knee.”

Minhyuk grins and kisses Hyungwon’s cheek. “I didn't think it was that long.”

“Minhyuk. We started dating when we were sixteen. We’re fucking twenty-six. When you didn't propose when we hit ten years, I knew you weren't going to do it any time soon even though we’ve talked about getting married for years,” Hyungwon says. 

“It didn't  _ feel _ like ten years with you, though,” Minhyuk pouts. 

Hyungwon laughs a bit and rolls his eyes, but he still pulls Minhyuk closer to his side, hand wrapping around his hips. 

Jooheon smiles at them, but all this marriage talk is getting to him, so he finishes his beer and throws it away before he sits in Hyunwoo's lap, wrapping his arm around his shoulders to steady himself. 

And the best part about Hyunwoo is that no matter how clingy he and Hoseok get, he never seems phased or annoyed by it. He just holds them closer until they're satisfied, so that's what he does. Wraps his arms around Jooheon and holds him. 

Hoseok shifts closer and kisses Jooheon's hand and Hyunwoo's shoulder in two quick pecks before Jooheon is reaching for him, too. He doesn't know what exactly he meant to do, but he wants him, and he ends up just brushing his fingers through Hoseok’s soft hair. 

Jooheon never thought about getting married as a kid, and now he can’t think about it. Can't imagine marrying just one of them. Can't imagine them marrying just each other. 

And when he thought about it, marriage was just another promise that they had already made to each other. To love each other and be together forever. It was just making it public. 

Jooheon’s promises had never really been a public affair. They had always been whispered in bedrooms or inside ice with Minhyuk or over a bonfire like this.

It was there that he had looked at his team and told them that he would never read a friend’s mind.

It was there that he had promised to support Hoseok in his decision to confess to Hyunwoo. 

It was there that he told Hoseok and Hyunwoo that he had feelings for both of them. 

And it was there, in Hyunwoo's bedroom, that he promised to be with them. To try to give them as much love as back as he felt from them. 

Hyunwoo kisses his jaw, and he giggles, turning to look at him, and Hyunwoo smiles up at him, eyes just the slightest bit glassy from the alcohol but vulnerable and open, and he kisses Jooheon again. 

“I love you,” Hyunwoo says before he leans his head against Jooheon's shoulder. 

“I love you, too,” Jooheon says, and he pulls gently on Hoseok's earlobe to make sure he hears it too. 

Hoseok turns and kisses his hand. “I love you, too,” he says. 

They don't get snowballs thrown at them because Minhyuk is too comfortable buried in Hyungwon's side, and because the night is starting to get quiet, and Kihyun has started to take out the sleeping bags and pass them around.

Hoseok and Hyunwoo put Jooheon’s sleeping bag in the middle without having to ask, and they really have perfected the art of cuddling through a sleeping bag. Closeness and half-unzipped bags, so they can still wrap their arms around each other. 

“Hey,” Hoseok whispers. 

“Hey?” Jooheon says, and he giggles because he feels so light. 

“You two make great husbands,” he says softly. 

Jooheon laughs even though something gets tight in his throat. 

“The very best husbands,” Hyunwoo agrees, nodding. 

Jooheon stares up at the stars, the night sky, the shimmer of Hyunwoo's shield. 

“How’d…”

“We don't need to be mind readers to know you,” Hoseok says. 

“I mean, if you think about it, we’ve already been basically married for ages,” Hyunwoo says. 

“We just don't have the rings.”

“That can be fixed though,” Hyunwoo says. 

Jooheon bites his lip. “Or an anniversary.”

“Ah, shit, he has a point,” Hoseok says, starting to giggle. 

“The anniversary we can figure out later, yeah? Let me have this,” Hyunwoo says, and he’s pulling Jooheon closer. 

Jooheon blinks away the little hint of tears that appear. 

“I love you,” he says. 

“I love you, too,” both of them say at the same time, and then they laugh and snuggle closer to him. 

Jooheon falls asleep, wrapped up in arms and soft kisses and happiness and love. 

+++

“Have I told you how much I love you?” Jooheon asks as he kisses at Hyunwoo’s chest. 

Hyunwoo chuckles softly, laid back on their bed and freshly showered after a mission. 

“Maybe not today,” Hyunwoo jokes. 

Jooheon laughs and wraps his arms around Hyunwoo before letting his head fall against the center of his chest. 

“You did good today,” Jooheon says. 

“Nah. Hoseok and Kihyun did all the heavy lifting,” Hyunwoo says. 

Jooheon snorts and moves up to brush his lips against Hyunwoo’s before he nuzzles against the side of his neck. 

“Let me compliment you,” Jooheon says. 

Hyunwoo laughs and wraps his arms around Jooheon. 

“Go ahead.”

“You’re such a great leader. With all the shit happening today, if you weren't there we probably would've been freaking out.”

“Thank you,” Hyunwoo says, and his voice is soft as he squeezes Jooheon closer.

Jooheon smiles and closes his eyes. “What's taking Hoseok so long in the shower?” he asks. 

“He probably is paranoid about that sludge being on him even though we told him none got on him,” Hyunwoo says. 

“You’re probably right,” Jooheon says. 

“That sludge really did get Kihyun though,” Hyunwoo says. 

Jooheon snorts. 

“Barely. You got your shield there in time.”

“Barely. His hair though.”

“Ah, he could at least burn it off,” Jooheon says, imagining Kihyun’s wide eyes as the pipe he was welding closed spit out more gunk at him. 

“Poor Ki. Changkyun wouldn't stop laughing,” Hyunwoo says. 

The door to the bathroom finally opens, and Hoseok walks out in his boxers, still toweling off his hair. 

“Took you long enough,” Jooheon says as he rolls off of Hyunwoo to move toward the couch. 

“I felt so gross,” Hoseok says with a pout before he plops down next to him. 

“It didn't even get on you,” Jooheon says, ruffling Hoseok’s still wet hair. 

“So! I could feel it. And I had to clean the rings,” Hoseok says, slapping his hand away even though he’s smiling now. 

Jooheon takes his hand and inspects the two thin bands that sit on his ring finger. They're perfectly fine, shining gold and silver in the light. Hoseok smiles and pulls his hand away to grab Jooheon's to check his matching ones. 

“Weren’t you guys worried about them?” he asks. 

“I mean, I was far away from the sludge zone,” Jooheon says, but he lets Hoseok play with his fingers. 

“Shield,” Hyunwoo answers. 

“Right,” Hoseok says, holding onto Jooheon's pinky now. 

“Well, no matter what, you're fine now,” Hyunwoo says as he shifts over to sit on Hoseok’s other side. 

Hoseok settles back onto the couch and lets go of his pinky to put his arm over Jooheon's shoulder. 

“I'm glad you guys didn't start without me,” he says. 

“I'm slightly offended you think we’d betray you like that,” Jooheon says as he settles against Hoseok’s side.

“It's because he's watched shows behind our backs before,” Hyunwoo whispers as if Hoseok isn't sitting directly between them. 

“That happened  _ once _ , and I thought you guys didn't like the show!” Hoseok says. 

Jooheon laughs and starts kissing at Hoseok's face to get him to stop pouting. Hoseok grins and wraps both his arms around Jooheon and pulls him onto his lap. 

“Okay, let's watch this show,” Hoseok says. 

“Hey, I want cuddles, too,” Hyunwoo says as he leans against both of them. 

“No one is stopping you,” Hoseok says as he readjusts to keep one arm around Jooheon's middle and put his other one around Hyunwoo. 

Hyunwoo hums, there's a kiss on Jooheon's shoulder, and he doesn't know if it's Hoseok or Hyunwoo, but it still makes him smile. 

Hyunwoo turns on the TV and goes to Netflix to put on the newest show they've decided to watch together. 

He doesn't know when this became the new routine. The three of them would nap on their way back from a mission, shower, and then settle in to watch a show. It was great though, falling into a puddle of cuddling to just be together and destress. 

It still feels amazing after five years. Still feels perfect like this is always how it's been. 

Jooheon laughs whenever he remembers how he used to be. How he would actually stop himself from touching Hoseok. How he refused to think anyone would be interested in him even though Hyunwoo was always pretty obvious with his feelings. How utterly ridiculous all three of them had been. 

At least they had each other now. 

Would always have each other now. 

“What do you guys want to eat?” Hoseok asks after three episodes fly by. 

“I have some meat I could grill up?” Hyunwoo offers.

“Sounds good to me,” Jooheon says. 

Hyunwoo leans closer until Jooheon turns to him, and then Hyunwoo kisses him, hard and quick before he gets up. 

“I can make ramen?” Hoseok offers. 

“You do that, I'll make the rice,” Jooheon says. 

Hoseok squeezes Jooheon tighter before letting him go, so they can both get up. 

They cook and eat in a circle sitting on the ground in front of Hyunwoo's TV and talk, and Jooheon loves them. 

Hyunwoo laughs from his belly, and Hoseok smiles so big you can see all his teeth, and Jooheon loves them. 

Hoseok sings while they do the dishes and Hyunwoo dances with soapy gloved hands, and Jooheon  _ loves them _ . 

“Hey, Honey, can I ask you something?” Hoseok asks.

Jooheon pulls his gloves off and puts them to dry over the faucet. “Of course.”

“Well, it's more of a both of us thing,” Hyunwoo says as he comes up behind Hoseok and hugs him.

Jooheon looks at both of them. 

“Okay?” he says. 

“Maybe not in the kitchen,” Hoseok says. 

Jooheon raises a brow at them, but neither of them feel upset or even that nervous, and Jooheon would trust them with his life, so he doesn't get nervous either. Just confused as he goes to settle on the couch again. 

Hoseok and Hyunwoo move beanbags in front of him and sit down, and Jooheon just stares at them for a second. 

“What's going on?” Jooheon says. 

Hoseok smiles and pokes his hand before taking it. 

“Well, you know we never really had an anniversary because we’re all ridiculous and didn't think about remembering the day we all started dating?” Hoseok asks. 

Jooheon chuckled and nods. “Yeah.”

“Hyunwoo actually suggested we should just pick a day,” Hoseok says. 

“Yeah. I mean, we’ve always loved each other so why not?” Hyunwoo says. 

Jooheon nods. “Sure. What day?”

“Maybe...today?” Hoseok says softly. 

“We haven't done anything special, though,” Jooheon says. 

“Well, we did have to work, that was unfortunate. But I thought it was pretty special. I got to spend all day with both of you,” Hyunwoo says. 

“Wow. When you go sappy, you go really sappy,” Hoseok says. 

Jooheon checks his phone. March 21st. It's the first day of spring. 

Fitting, really. 

“Sure. March 21st. Happy anniversary guys,” Jooheon says.

Hoseok beams. “Yay! Happy anniversary!” And then he throws his arms around Jooheon and hugs him. And then Hyunwoo is hugging them both. 

And Jooheon really, truly loves them. 

“You know how one time, you told us what our love feels like to you?” Hyunwoo asks. 

Jooheon nods. “Yeah.”

Hyunwoo smiles and moves to sit next to him on the couch. His hands run through Jooheon’s hair, pushing it back. 

“You know, sometimes when you push your thoughts into our heads we can feel your love, too,” Hyunwoo says. 

Jooheon freezes. They never told him that. He looks at Hoseok still sitting in front of him, and he's smiling up at him. 

“Really? I thought you could just hear it,” Jooheon says. 

“It used to be like that. But you kept practicing and getting stronger so…” Hoseok says. 

“Wanna know what your love feels like?” Hyunwoo asks softly. 

Hoseok rubs his hands up Jooheon's thighs and squeezes them. 

“We’ll have to take turns since it's different,” Hoseok says. 

Jooheon swallows. “Go ahead, then.”

Hyunwoo kisses his jaw, and Jooheon still gets shivers down his spine whenever he does that. 

“To me it feels like...bubbles filling me up. Like all in my chest. Like I could float right up to the sky,” Hyunwoo says. 

“To me it’s just light. Everything gets so bright. Like there's floodlights on my memories,” Hoseok says. 

“I know that's not as detailed as what you told us,” Hyunwoo says.

“Yeah, but it honestly makes me so happy. Just that little bit,” Hoseok says. 

Jooheon bites his lips and smiles. 

“I'm glad you guys like it,” Jooheon says. 

Sometimes there's this moment where the air hangs around them. The moment when Jooheon knows he’s about to be kissed, but he doesn't know who is going to get there first. 

And it's been years now, but he still always does the same thing. 

Just closes his eyes and waits. 

Hoseok’s lips are the ones that find his first, and he throws his arms around his shoulders, and he’s scooped up again. 

He’s giggling when his back hits the mattress, and then Hyunwoo is there kissing Hoseok hard, and Jooheon loves them loves them  _ loves them. _

“Happy anniversary,” Hyunwoo says, breathless, before he leans down to kiss Jooheon, and Jooheon pushes all his emotions out toward them, hoping that Hyunwoo will feel bubbles, and Hoseok will see the light, and they’ll feel his love just like he can feel his. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe it's over. Thanks to everyone that's been reading and commenting and leaving kudos!!! I love these boys with my whole heart, and I'm glad so many of you loved them, too!  
> Hit me up:  
> [cc](https://curiouscat.me/yikeslike)  
> [twt](https://twitter.com/yikeslike)

**Author's Note:**

> Any kudos or comments are appreciated! Hit me up it you'd like:  
> [cc](https://curiouscat.me/yikeslike)  
> [twt](https://twitter.com/yikeslike)


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